What would you do with that budget ?

[Anonymous]

Why not put off house hunting until spring of 2020. That will give you like 15 months. Prove you can afford the new place by paying off the students loans (or if they have a low interest rate, set aside enough money to pay them off).

Ideally you would put it off for even a little longer and that way you could also replace the car and catch up on the 529s and retirement. The 4k or so extra take home snowballed with the 1k a month for not having the student loans will mean you can save fast. And then right as you are buying your younger kid will be out of day care. I think the kids can share a room until the older one is around 10 especially since you can but one in the third bedroom if things get really bad..

[Anonymous]

I vote for paying off student loan debt as a priority. Do you have daycare for 1 or two more years? When there is no more student loan debt, childcare costs are reduced to before/aftercare and summer camp, retirement savings is on track for both you, and you have an understanding of what the cost would be to renovate into the house you want (as well as the value of your house when renovated). Then I would do a cost benefit analysis on investing in more house through either moving or renovating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$50k in student loans and a bit behind in both college and retirement savings? Stay where you are.

+1 If your DH wants a bigger house he should concentrate on paying off his student loans. Also agree with PP that $15k take home sounds high on $250k HHI -- but maybe you have a great deal on insurance or something? Your savings rate is really low right now; if you were aggressively paying down debt that would make sense but you're essentially just filling up sinking funds to get spent throughout the year, and your retirement and college aren't where they should be. This is a chance to get ahead instead of staying on the same paycheck-to-paycheck mentality.

OP here, thanks! So with our HHI what would your goal be?
- I asked my DH to put at least 1K a month on his student loan
- put 15% of his salary in his retirement
- contribute 250$ a month to his children's 529 (and I put 1000$)
=> on his salary it is a bit hard to do more and still contribute to the rest of our expenses (he contributes 1/3 , I contribute 2/3 for the rest - mortgage, daycare). I could help him more with student debt or retirement but I don't like his relationship with money and don't want to enable his idea that "we have money". I'd rather make sure he prioritizes the big expenses first. I know it sounds patronizing but to give you an idea I have bailed his CC debts twice in the past, so he is not allowed to carry a CC debt anymore .. (and he is doing great on that front, but I still check his cc level every other month)

For myself:
- my retirement is on track and my pension is good. I could put more but I think it would make more sense to help my DH with his
- I'd love to increase my savings to 15% a month ie 1500$ (pure savings not savings for future expenses as you said). I am good at saving that amount but on our previous HHI we ended up using it for travel or house renovations

Unless you have a serious prenup, you should stop referring to "your" retirement since he will get a chunk if you divorce. Basically, there is no such thing as his debt and your savings, they are all martial assets and debts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$50k in student loans and a bit behind in both college and retirement savings? Stay where you are.

+1 If your DH wants a bigger house he should concentrate on paying off his student loans. Also agree with PP that $15k take home sounds high on $250k HHI -- but maybe you have a great deal on insurance or something? Your savings rate is really low right now; if you were aggressively paying down debt that would make sense but you're essentially just filling up sinking funds to get spent throughout the year, and your retirement and college aren't where they should be. This is a chance to get ahead instead of staying on the same paycheck-to-paycheck mentality.

OP here, thanks! So with our HHI what would your goal be?
- I asked my DH to put at least 1K a month on his student loan
- put 15% of his salary in his retirement
- contribute 250$ a month to his children's 529 (and I put 1000$)
=> on his salary it is a bit hard to do more and still contribute to the rest of our expenses (he contributes 1/3 , I contribute 2/3 for the rest - mortgage, daycare). I could help him more with student debt or retirement but I don't like his relationship with money and don't want to enable his idea that "we have money". I'd rather make sure he prioritizes the big expenses first. I know it sounds patronizing but to give you an idea I have bailed his CC debts twice in the past, so he is not allowed to carry a CC debt anymore .. (and he is doing great on that front, but I still check his cc level every other month)

For myself:
- my retirement is on track and my pension is good. I could put more but I think it would make more sense to help my DH with his
- I'd love to increase my savings to 15% a month ie 1500$ (pure savings not savings for future expenses as you said). I am good at saving that amount but on our previous HHI we ended up using it for travel or house renovations

I'd aim to save 20-25% of your HHI - if you were to max 2 401ks and save $1250/month toward 529s you'd be in that zone. But since he's just saving 15% of 89k, you're falling short. You should be maxing your retirement -- it doesn't make sense to forego the tax benefits to "help" him with his, you're married and savings benefits you both. You can also save more on your end by putting $500/month into a Roth next year, which can be used for retirement or education, and won't be spent on house renovations. You can also set a goal for yourself of increasing your EF or creating a taxable brokerage account with the understanding it would be partially for an eventual DP, after his loans are paid off. I don't blame you for not fully combining finances with his track record, but if you make it clear to him that bigger house comes after student loans are paid off maybe that will motivate him. Use tax returns or any windfalls to accelerate student loan payoff.

Max your 401k - $19k
15% of 89k - $13350
(Any matches in either retirement account?)
529s - $15k
Roth - $6k

Total: $53,350 (21.4%)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$50k in student loans and a bit behind in both college and retirement savings? Stay where you are.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not put off house hunting until spring of 2020. That will give you like 15 months. Prove you can afford the new place by paying off the students loans (or if they have a low interest rate, set aside enough money to pay them off).

Ideally you would put it off for even a little longer and that way you could also replace the car and catch up on the 529s and retirement. The 4k or so extra take home snowballed with the 1k a month for not having the student loans will mean you can save fast. And then right as you are buying your younger kid will be out of day care. I think the kids can share a room until the older one is around 10 especially since you can but one in the third bedroom if things get really bad..

+1. Throw 2k per month at the student loans until you’ve paid them off. Roughly 2 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$50k in student loans and a bit behind in both college and retirement savings? Stay where you are.

+1 If your DH wants a bigger house he should concentrate on paying off his student loans. Also agree with PP that $15k take home sounds high on $250k HHI -- but maybe you have a great deal on insurance or something? Your savings rate is really low right now; if you were aggressively paying down debt that would make sense but you're essentially just filling up sinking funds to get spent throughout the year, and your retirement and college aren't where they should be. This is a chance to get ahead instead of staying on the same paycheck-to-paycheck mentality.

OP here, thanks! So with our HHI what would your goal be?
- I asked my DH to put at least 1K a month on his student loan
- put 15% of his salary in his retirement
- contribute 250$ a month to his children's 529 (and I put 1000$)
=> on his salary it is a bit hard to do more and still contribute to the rest of our expenses (he contributes 1/3 , I contribute 2/3 for the rest - mortgage, daycare). I could help him more with student debt or retirement but I don't like his relationship with money and don't want to enable his idea that "we have money". I'd rather make sure he prioritizes the big expenses first. I know it sounds patronizing but to give you an idea I have bailed his CC debts twice in the past, so he is not allowed to carry a CC debt anymore .. (and he is doing great on that front, but I still check his cc level every other month)

For myself:
- my retirement is on track and my pension is good. I could put more but I think it would make more sense to help my DH with his
- I'd love to increase my savings to 15% a month ie 1500$ (pure savings not savings for future expenses as you said). I am good at saving that amount but on our previous HHI we ended up using it for travel or house renovations

Unless you have a serious prenup, you should stop referring to "your" retirement since he will get a chunk if you divorce. Basically, there is no such thing as his debt and your savings, they are all martial assets and debts.

OP here: depends where we would divorce actually. In my country by default the debts you bring to the marriage are yours (his student debt) and he wouldn't get half of my pension. But that doesn't matter:
1/we have no plans of divorcing;
2/ if ever we did separate at some point in our life I don't think we would fight over money / or that he would go after my retirement. That's not his style. he understands that his financial choices and mine are different; MORE IMPORTANTLY :
3/ we don't fully merge our finances now and we wont in retirement either, because his behavior would drive me nuts so it is not doable, I would become very controlling. Instead we agree on our common budget based on our respective incomes, share that, and then manage our discretionary income as we wish. If he wants to spend 500$ and something that makes no sense to me I wont nag him, not my money, not my business, as long as he fulfills his other obligations (no cc debts, cover his share of our common expenses). So in that context, keeping separate pots for retirement makes sense. He has a preference for the present, fine, but I don't think I should sacrifice my future retirement for it...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$50k in student loans and a bit behind in both college and retirement savings? Stay where you are.

+1 If your DH wants a bigger house he should concentrate on paying off his student loans. Also agree with PP that $15k take home sounds high on $250k HHI -- but maybe you have a great deal on insurance or something? Your savings rate is really low right now; if you were aggressively paying down debt that would make sense but you're essentially just filling up sinking funds to get spent throughout the year, and your retirement and college aren't where they should be. This is a chance to get ahead instead of staying on the same paycheck-to-paycheck mentality.

OP here, thanks! So with our HHI what would your goal be?
- I asked my DH to put at least 1K a month on his student loan
- put 15% of his salary in his retirement
- contribute 250$ a month to his children's 529 (and I put 1000$)
=> on his salary it is a bit hard to do more and still contribute to the rest of our expenses (he contributes 1/3 , I contribute 2/3 for the rest - mortgage, daycare). I could help him more with student debt or retirement but I don't like his relationship with money and don't want to enable his idea that "we have money". I'd rather make sure he prioritizes the big expenses first. I know it sounds patronizing but to give you an idea I have bailed his CC debts twice in the past, so he is not allowed to carry a CC debt anymore .. (and he is doing great on that front, but I still check his cc level every other month)

For myself:
- my retirement is on track and my pension is good. I could put more but I think it would make more sense to help my DH with his
- I'd love to increase my savings to 15% a month ie 1500$ (pure savings not savings for future expenses as you said). I am good at saving that amount but on our previous HHI we ended up using it for travel or house renovations

I'd aim to save 20-25% of your HHI - if you were to max 2 401ks and save $1250/month toward 529s you'd be in that zone. But since he's just saving 15% of 89k, you're falling short. You should be maxing your retirement -- it doesn't make sense to forego the tax benefits to "help" him with his, you're married and savings benefits you both. You can also save more on your end by putting $500/month into a Roth next year, which can be used for retirement or education, and won't be spent on house renovations. You can also set a goal for yourself of increasing your EF or creating a taxable brokerage account with the understanding it would be partially for an eventual DP, after his loans are paid off. I don't blame you for not fully combining finances with his track record, but if you make it clear to him that bigger house comes after student loans are paid off maybe that will motivate him. Use tax returns or any windfalls to accelerate student loan payoff.

Max your 401k - $19k
15% of 89k - $13350
(Any matches in either retirement account?)
529s - $15k
Roth - $6k

Total: $53,350 (21.4%)

Thank you ! this is very helpful.. The tax deduction is not fully relevant for me (foreigner and income not taxable so I don't benefit as much from 401K and Roth. And I contribute to a pension system). But the different totals are good goals. And yes we max all the matches we can get. And for the other

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I vote for paying off student loan debt as a priority. Do you have daycare for 1 or two more years? When there is no more student loan debt, childcare costs are reduced to before/aftercare and summer camp, retirement savings is on track for both you, and you have an understanding of what the cost would be to renovate into the house you want (as well as the value of your house when renovated). Then I would do a cost benefit analysis on investing in more house through either moving or renovating.

day care is still this year + next year so still some time to go

[Anonymous]

You are all gone from home all day, and after work you have the gym and kids activities. And you travel a lot. So you actually don't spend a lot of time in your house. So that is part of why I vote for waiting on getting a bigger house.
Pay off the student loans, pay for a new car, then talk about getting a bigger house or adding on to your current house.

[Anonymous]

How much do you have saved for retirement? In dollars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much do you have saved for retirement? In dollars.

My current retirement projections would give me a pension of 110k net a year i think, it will keep growing as my income is growing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much do you have saved for retirement? In dollars.

My current retirement projections would give me a pension of 110k net a year i think, it will keep growing as my income is growing

Just to clarify, it is a defined benefit pension, not a 401k