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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]$50k in student loans and a bit behind in both college and retirement savings?  Stay where you are.[/quote]

+1  If your DH wants a bigger house he should concentrate on paying off his student loans.  Also agree with PP that $15k take home sounds high on $250k HHI -- but maybe you have a great deal on insurance or something?  Your savings rate is really low right now; if you were aggressively paying down debt that would make sense but you're essentially just filling up sinking funds to get spent throughout the year, and your retirement and college aren't where they should be.  This is a chance to get ahead instead of staying on the same paycheck-to-paycheck mentality.[/quote]

OP here, thanks! So with our HHI what would your goal be? 
- I asked my DH to put at least 1K a month on his student loan
- put 15% of his salary in his retirement 
- contribute 250$ a month to his children's 529 (and I put 1000$)
=> on his salary it is a bit hard to do more and still contribute to the rest of our expenses (he contributes 1/3 , I contribute 2/3 for the rest - mortgage, daycare). I could help him more with student debt or retirement but I don't like his relationship with money and don't want to enable his idea that "we have money". I'd rather make sure he prioritizes the big expenses first. I know it sounds patronizing but to give you an idea I have bailed his CC debts twice in the past, so he is not allowed to carry a CC debt anymore .. (and he is doing great on that front, but I still check his cc level every other month)

For myself: 
- my retirement is on track and my pension is good. I could put more but I think it would make more sense to help my DH with his
- I'd love to increase my savings to 15% a month ie 1500$ (pure savings not savings for future expenses as you said). I am good at saving that amount but on our previous HHI we ended up using it for travel or house renovations [/quote]

I'd aim to save 20-25% of your HHI - if you were to max 2 401ks and save $1250/month toward 529s you'd be in that zone.  But since he's just saving 15% of 89k, you're falling short.  You should be maxing your retirement -- it doesn't make sense to forego the tax benefits to "help" him with his, you're married and savings benefits you both.  You can also save more on your end by putting $500/month into a Roth next year, which can be used for retirement or education, and won't be spent on house renovations.  You can also set a goal for yourself of increasing your EF or creating a taxable brokerage account with the understanding it would be partially for an eventual DP, after his loans are paid off.  I don't blame you for not fully combining finances with his track record, but if you make it clear to him that bigger house comes after student loans are paid off maybe that will motivate him.  Use tax returns or any windfalls to accelerate student loan payoff.

Max your 401k - $19k
15% of 89k - $13350
(Any matches in either retirement account?)
529s - $15k
Roth - $6k

Total: $53,350 (21.4%)
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