Dealing with negative feelings towards pregnant cousin

[Anonymous]

I'm all for having compassion for folks dealing with secondary infertility, but this is something else entirely. This is someone who is insecure and seeking attention. I'm sorry. You are under no obligation to feel happy for her. You have every right to tell her how you feel, or just ignore her.

[Anonymous]

Avoid her. Get off the same groups she is on, if you can. Find others and use an assumed name so she can't track
K you, if this is on the web. She's being ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I've never battled infertility and I have children of my own, but she sounds like an attention seeking, miserable bitch. 7 kids is NOT INFERTILE.

Leave the groups you're in together and if you have her on facebook, unfollow her. The pregnancies are likely a great way for her to get attention for 9-10 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am angry for you. How does someone with 7 children claim to be infertile? She is, at best, an insensitive attention seeker. You are totally justified to stop spending time or energy with or on her.

This, and I think I might say that to her. "Someone with 7 children is not infertile by any standard. You are an insensitive attention seeker, or you have some kind of mental illness that makes you believe normal fertility is problematic. Either way, you make me, and the rest of us who are actually infertile, feel rage every time you promote your MLM snake oil. Please stop."

This would be worth blowing up the family to me -- she's inflicting a lot of pain.

I agree with this. I just quit my online support group because I could no longer stand being the one who watches everyone else get pregnant and move on. I also hid FB posts from one of my cousins when she posted a bunch about her gender disappointment when she had her fourth boy.

Completely agree. Someone this toxic gets no quarter.

I am so sorry for all you've been through, OP, and wish you all the best going forward. It's hard, but I've found drawing very, very firm boundaries with people like this is well worth it (my issues weren't infertility related, but your cousin really needs to be told clearly how insensitive she is. It's not okay to be that thoughtless (best case) or that cruel (worst case). Either way, you are well within reason to tell her up-front that she is out of bounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am angry for you. How does someone with 7 children claim to be infertile? She is, at best, an insensitive attention seeker. You are totally justified to stop spending time or energy with or on her.

This, and I think I might say that to her. "Someone with 7 children is not infertile by any standard. You are an insensitive attention seeker, or you have some kind of mental illness that makes you believe normal fertility is problematic. Either way, you make me, and the rest of us who are actually infertile, feel rage every time you promote your MLM snake oil. Please stop."

This would be worth blowing up the family to me -- she's inflicting a lot of pain.

I agree with this. I just quit my online support group because I could no longer stand being the one who watches everyone else get pregnant and move on. I also hid FB posts from one of my cousins when she posted a bunch about her gender disappointment when she had her fourth boy.

I absolutely cannot stand the gender disappoint thing. It's infuriating.

OP, I'm so, so sorry. As someone on the other side (IVF for #1, three losses, many IVFs for #2 who was finally born last year), I still get jealous of those who get pregnant easily. It's like some sort of lingering PTSD.

Hugs to you. She seems awful and incredibly insensitive.

[Anonymous]

OP... so many hugs. Your cousin sounds just awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This must be a joke. How can a woman with 7 kids claim to be infertile? She is ridiculous and I would make fun of her and pity her. She is probably having all these kids because craves the attention. What a loser. She should be spending her time raising her kids instead of playing the infertile woman. It probably just make her feel better about her life being part of the groups. You should feel bad for her OP

+1: AGREED!

[Anonymous]

OP - your cousin is a major asshole. a vast majority of people - infertile or not - would be with you in this. In fact you are way too subdued here. I am seething with anger just reading this and I have 3 kids. What a b****!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This must be a joke. How can a woman with 7 kids claim to be infertile? She is ridiculous and I would make fun of her and pity her. She is probably having all these kids because craves the attention. What a loser. She should be spending her time raising her kids instead of playing the infertile woman. It probably just make her feel better about her life being part of the groups. You should feel bad for her OP

Cousin is attention seeking. Watch out for Münchausen syndrome from her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am I infuriated on your behalf, OP. She’s so far over the line. You have every right to minimize the time you have to be around her. Hugs.

Agree with all this. She's an attention whore, and in your shoes, I'd avoid her. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I think your cousin would benefit from therapy since she seems to not have a grip on reality and is hurting other people in the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your cousin would benefit from therapy since she seems to not have a grip on reality and is hurting other people in the process.

This. It's like whatever body dysmorphia would be if it was fertility-related -- fertility dysphoria? That's the kind interpretation, because it would make her mentally ill. The unkind one is that she is so self-centered she doesn't give a rat's a$$ how much she hurts other people as long as she can make something about herself and her business.

[Anonymous]

She is crazy to birth 7 kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am angry for you. How does someone with 7 children claim to be infertile? She is, at best, an insensitive attention seeker. You are totally justified to stop spending time or energy with or on her.

Totally agree with this 100%

[Anonymous]

She sucks. I am really sorry for your losses. Such a hard thing to go through.