Co-worker situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:well, if neither of you are willing to move because you have kids, it is time to move on. Spending time worrying about him is blocking you from meeting anyone local. Time to get back to a business-only relationship.

See the bolded sentence above, OP. Please think hard: Is it possible you are using the romanticized ideal of this not-a-relationship as a way to avoid moving on and being open to dating where you live now?

Regardless of whether you think that is the case for you, please get some therapy and explore why you would keep reverting back to this "relationship." The fact that you told him you "wouldn't wait" came out of the blue, right? Why did you say that? Do you want him to step up and say he loves you for more than sex, and wants to be with you, and will move --? These questions are why you need a third party like a therapist to help you understand what YOU actually want. What spurred you to say that to him?

It's so very easy just to think about this man as your love when to him you may be just convenient, pet names or no pet names. Do not interpret the increased attention as anything at all unless it's accompanied by actual adult conversations -- which need to be in person -- about a future that involves being in the same city if not the same home. And realize that those conversations are pretty unlikely to happen. You can initiate one yourself, of course; if you're not doing that, ask yourself why you're not doing it.