Question for those with local parents

[Anonymous]

Never

[Anonymous]

Both sets of parents live locally but my MIL has memory issues so my kids never spend the night there (or anytime alone with her). My parents take the kids maybe two or three Saturday nights a week and bring them back Sunday early afternoon. It’s great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both sets of parents live locally but my MIL has memory issues so my kids never spend the night there (or anytime alone with her). My parents take the kids maybe two or three Saturday nights a week and bring them back Sunday early afternoon. It’s great!

That is so cool! What wonderful grandparents!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both sets of parents live locally but my MIL has memory issues so my kids never spend the night there (or anytime alone with her). My parents take the kids maybe two or three Saturday nights a week and bring them back Sunday early afternoon. It’s great!

Don’t you miss weekend mornings with your family?

I think the answer to this question depends on how you value your time with your kids. I wouldn’t give up those snuggly, lazy Sunday’s for anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both sets of parents live locally but my MIL has memory issues so my kids never spend the night there (or anytime alone with her). My parents take the kids maybe two or three Saturday nights a week and bring them back Sunday early afternoon. It’s great!

Don’t you miss weekend mornings with your family?

I think the answer to this question depends on how you value your time with your kids. I wouldn’t give up those snuggly, lazy Sunday’s for anything.

So snarky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both sets of parents live locally but my MIL has memory issues so my kids never spend the night there (or anytime alone with her). My parents take the kids maybe two or three Saturday nights a week and bring them back Sunday early afternoon. It’s great!

Don’t you miss weekend mornings with your family?

I think the answer to this question depends on how you value your time with your kids. I wouldn’t give up those snuggly, lazy Sunday’s for anything.

So snarky.

Well, it’s true. They are giving up 3-4 Sundays. That’s a lot. I value that time, PP must not. What am I missing?

[Anonymous]

My parents take my now 4 kids for a week twice a year (since oldest was 18m) when tagging along on business trip w/dh and occasional overnights if we had big events or we both had the work late. My ILs are great with date night but the one time I left kids with them for 3 days my oldest called me in tears as she felt my MIL should have brought my youngest into doctor and wasn’t. She (my DD) was right: he was so feverish and lethargic we could barely strap him into car seat. Had 102 fev and firefly red throat and double ear infection. ILs are of the tough it out philosophy.

[Anonymous]

Our five year old stays with my parents about once a month or so. He loves it and so do they. My three year old is a bit of a handful so not yet ready. When my son stays there its not like we lose him for a weekend. It's usually from 5pm on Saturday to noon on Sunday.

[Anonymous]

My local parents were the ones used to take care of my current 3 year old when she was an infant, so they can have DD 1-2 times a month when I want a break or they miss her. She loves it, and so do they. She is really handful, so taking care of her is quite a hard work. I have left her with my family for weeks when we did travel or business trips.

My local inlaws never take care of DD, and I would not feel comfortable even they offer. When DD's preschool is closed, I either use my parents or take PTO to cover it.

[Anonymous]

Do you WOH, OP? I ask because on one hand, I think grandparent relationships are really important and, unlike parent relationships, take effort to cultivate. On the other hand, I WOH and value the time I have at home with my kids. IMO, I think one night a month at the grandparents is the right balance. It's often enough that the grandparent's house becomes a familiar environment and the kids and grandparents can develop their own rhythms and routines, but it's not so often that you are losing a meaningful amount of your family time.

Now, if you don't LIKE your inlaws or disagree with their child rearing methods or think there are other boundary issues at play here, then do whatever works best for you. But purely from a grandparent-grandchild relationship perspective, I say cultivate it now while everyone is still healthy, able, and willing.

[Anonymous]

My inlaws take my kids 2 nights some months 0 nights other months. I have had to be firm when they got greedy but snuggly Sunday mornings with my husband are important too.

I think we are very blessed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both sets of parents live locally but my MIL has memory issues so my kids never spend the night there (or anytime alone with her). My parents take the kids maybe two or three Saturday nights a week and bring them back Sunday early afternoon. It’s great!

Don’t you miss weekend mornings with your family?

I think the answer to this question depends on how you value your time with your kids. I wouldn’t give up those snuggly, lazy Sunday’s for anything.

So snarky.

Well, it’s true. They are giving up 3-4 Sundays. That’s a lot. I value that time, PP must not. What am I missing?

Um, we don’t get snuggly lazy Sunday’s unless the kids are gone. They are up and ready to PLAY at 6:30. So yeah, I’ll take a lazy Sunday with the kids at the grandparents, thanks very much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both sets of parents live locally but my MIL has memory issues so my kids never spend the night there (or anytime alone with her). My parents take the kids maybe two or three Saturday nights a week and bring them back Sunday early afternoon. It’s great!

Don’t you miss weekend mornings with your family?

I think the answer to this question depends on how you value your time with your kids. I wouldn’t give up those snuggly, lazy Sunday’s for anything.

No. I do not miss waking up at 6 AM on a Sunday morning. I value my time with my DD and get enough snuggling 26 mornings or more out of 30. I value alone time with my husband, too on those two or three Sunday mornings a month.

I guess it just depends on how much you value time with your husband and how important your marriage is to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both sets of parents live locally but my MIL has memory issues so my kids never spend the night there (or anytime alone with her). My parents take the kids maybe two or three Saturday nights a week and bring them back Sunday early afternoon. It’s great!

Don’t you miss weekend mornings with your family?

I think the answer to this question depends on how you value your time with your kids. I wouldn’t give up those snuggly, lazy Sunday’s for anything.

So snarky.

Well, it’s true. They are giving up 3-4 Sundays. That’s a lot. I value that time, PP must not. What am I missing?

First, you are missing the actual number of days. PP clearly said 2 or 3 not 3 to 4.

And you can snuggle on Saturdays and even weekdays, you know. A lot of us value all our time with our kids not just Sundays. Why don’t you spend time with your kids during the week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both sets of parents live locally but my MIL has memory issues so my kids never spend the night there (or anytime alone with her). My parents take the kids maybe two or three Saturday nights a week and bring them back Sunday early afternoon. It’s great!

Don’t you miss weekend mornings with your family?

I think the answer to this question depends on how you value your time with your kids. I wouldn’t give up those snuggly, lazy Sunday’s for anything.

So snarky.

Well, it’s true. They are giving up 3-4 Sundays. That’s a lot. I value that time, PP must not. What am I missing?

You are missing having a good marriage, PP. Pay attention to your husband two or three mornings a month and discover how much better your relationship is.