Am I being too sensitive?

[Anonymous]

Flags on the field. Gargantuan red ones. I'd be done at this point. Crying because some ex is sad? That's just really, really weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he thinks relationships are without fights he is immature. If you have to keep quiet to keep him happy and with you, ditch him. You should be able to say what you think in a long term relationship.

I agree. I think that op's diminished passion for him is a sign that his approach to dealing with disagreements is a deal breaker for her.

[Anonymous]

You’re both drama queens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was the argument about?

He has maintained a close relationship with his ex (keeping a picture of her in the house, meeting her for movies, lunch, etc), and I've always been okay with it because he told me early on that she meant a lot to him even though their relationship failed. To be perfectly honest, I was hoping as he and I got closer, their relationship would dwindle a bit. I know how hard it is to transition from a unit to singledom after years of cohabiting. Anyway, there was a day where he just seemed down, so I came over to check on him. He collapsed into my arms in tears because a person he'd dated after the split with his ex (the one he's still close with) was depressed over their relationship not working out. He told me he felt so bad for hurting this person because they meant so much to him. He spent an hour crying on me. I love that he loves people so deeply, but I won't pretend like it didn't sting a lot.

I didn't say anything to him that night, but the next day, I brought up the fact that I was feeling a little raw over having to watch him still feel so much emotional investment in his exes.

Dude sounds like a train wreck. Too much baggage

This sounds painful and odd. If you have doubts leave. If you are in love... well, give it a chance but this seems that it is going to be painful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Flags on the field. Gargantuan red ones. I'd be done at this point. Crying because some ex is sad? That's just really, really weird.

+1 Weeping in your arms for an hour over disappointing someone he dated before you? That’s very odd and my little red alarms would’ve been going off.

[Anonymous]

Wh. . . . at? He sobbed in your arms about hurting someone else, and then got all huffy when you brought it up?

I think he sounds like he's not ready for a commitment. Good instincts on flipping the switch. Your body is trying to get you ready to detach. It's OK to just let this one fade -- if he wanted you badly enough, the other relationship wouldn't bother him this much and he would try to understand your feelings without saying maybe we should break up.

[Anonymous]

Op ~ this is only dating. Dating is not permanent. The reason people date is to learn if this is the best match. Don't lose sight of that.

[Anonymous]

Please break up with him and don’t look back. He is unavailable. Don’t even bother giving a long explanation - he will just put you on defense.
You already tried to bring up the very substantial issue of him not being over his x. He was not open to the discussion. Nothing more to talk about.

[Anonymous]

Ugh no. DTMFA. He doesn't sound like he cares about your feelings enough to weep for an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re both drama queens.

How is SHE a drama queen?

[Anonymous]

You don't need that train wreck. He is crying in your arms about hurting another woman over yet another woman he can't get over. And you are too sensitive? He needs a therapist, not another woman in his life. I'd plain tell him exactly what I wrote to you here. You are not his Dr.

[Anonymous]

This guy is still in love with his ex. Deep inside you know this and that's why you end up arguing a lot.
He might never be ready for you. The fact that he is not afraid to parade around with his ex's picture is enough to break up with him. Don't waste your time.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. Get rid of him.

[Anonymous]

How long have you been dating? It seems to me that your boyfriend is telling you that your concerns don't matter to him. Any relationship requires mutuality in order to be healthy. Your concerns should matter to him at least as much as his concerns matter to you. I hope you are able to stand up for your own needs in or out of this relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who uses extreme definitive statements like that over the specific discussion is simply not mature enough for a substantial relationship.

Frankly - the post is a red herring as the crux of the argument itself is alarming. Having a good relationship with an ex isn't necessarily a bad thing - but constant contact a pic in the house? Sorry - but that's just not normal. Unless she's dead and they had kids, I don't see any reason why a person could justify that.

I think these are the "red flags" that you hear about that you ignore and then wonder why you're not happy later. Cut your losses - he is not the one and you should recommend therapy for him.