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Elementary School-Aged Kids
What do you do with an unathletic boy?
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Anonymous
| Agree with all the PPs. Dad here, not athletic at all, wife is much more athlete than I, and I'm not really interested in sports. I have to be honest with you, PE was tough, but your kid will figure it out. Nurture and love him, continue to push individual sports--there's gotta be something, karate, tennis is great, running when he's older, golf (you seriously don't need to be athletic for that!), I imagine he'll get to enjoy something. Even riding his bike. He'll also pick up eventually that he needs to find something to adapt to. MS is tough, HS not so much. It's much more important that he finds and keeps some good friends. That will help out a ton. And there will be other kids like him, that enjoy music or science or books, whatever, let him find his outlet, and celebrate him for who he is. |
Anonymous
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I'm not athletic. My kid is.
OP: There are many opportunities that don't involve tryouts at nine. In fact, for every sport with tryouts, there's a community run version without them. Plus (not for your kid probably), some sports like LaCrosse, run training programs for beginners. (Of course, the LX folks are hoping to create converts, the point is about beginner options.) Worry about fitness. Don't worry about team sports. Some of us just find the whole team thing really stressful. There's track, cross country, martial arts, weight lifting... or just plain walking and riding when you can. Gym may not be his favorite thing, but I know many, many successful people who survived that. |
Anonymous
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Hi OP,
Tons of boys are not athletic. Does he have interests he'd like to pursue -- drama, music, chess? I know one non-athletic boy who managed several of his high school's teams so he was part of the fun but on the admininstrative side. |
Anonymous
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The big message that PPs have said: support who he is. That is right. Having said that, my son, now 12, also didn't like sports. He had an underlying OT problem, hard time coordinating his body, etc. So you could look into that, but tends to involve therapy, which is expensive and time consuming. For my son, it has been a slow encouragement, with my goal always being fitness and not viewing himself as totally incapable at physical endeavors. For us, a low key swim team was great. Even some of the winter teams can be treated as low key.
You didn't say if you are in public or private school, but schools do vary in this. If public, PE may not be a big factor, and eventually they may be able to choose something like fitness (working out as an individual in the fitness center). At privates, they range a lot. My son is doing Cross Country in private, and whil ehe is far rom the best, he is accepted as part of the team, and has come to see that he can run. This process has taken several years, but I feel much better that the kid is set up to be able to do fitness-related activities his whole life. |
Anonymous
| Non-competitive rec-leagues: Kidball (Ronnie somebody) in Potomac used to have a variety of rec leagues. You'd have to check to see whether (a) it is still this way and (b) it is mainly younger ages that are non-competitive. |
Anonymous
| Absolutely support your son's interests outside of sports, but don't put him in a box that says "I'm not interested in sports." I know many adults who were put in that box as kids and later found that sports and fitness can be a wonderful part of life. One who comes to mind is a neighbor (male) who started running and skiing in his 20s, when he met his very athletic wife. He now runs marathons and is a passionate skiier. Running and swimming are particularly good options for kids because thye are lifetime sports which allow athletes to compete against their own past performances and not against others. |
Anonymous
The noncompetitive leagues are offered by the Parks and Recreation department in the county I live in. There are no try-outs and the focus is on learning skills, teamwork and fitness. The programs usually consist of one practice and one game each week. I highly recommend this approach just to give your son a chance to try different sports in a learning environment. My son is currently in a baseball league at age 11--had never played before but he is having a great time. |
Anonymous
Equestrian sports (expensive, so maybe not an option)? Didn't see that mentioned. Also swimming--it's an individual sport in a team concept--plenty of friends, but competitive in a different way. Track is similar if he likes to run. Or perhaps Water Polo? It's a bit like playing soccer in the water. Both swimming and water polo are a different sort of athleticism than you would normally associate with something like basketball or football. Let him try all different things, see what he likes, and definitely, none of them need to be competitive. And be glad--I have the opposite 9 yr old. Extremely competitive, wants to play travel/select sports, and is going to break the bank if we don't keep him from playing too many...and it is constant. Grass is always greener.  Good luck.
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Anonymous
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OP please research these rec leagues. My son's played in them (basketball) and while there are no tryouts some coaches play to win which means the weaker players spend a lot of time on the bench.
Another consideration: Fencing. |
Anonymous
Most kids are not athletic. If he enjoys being on teams and playing some sports then rec leagues can be fun unless you get coaches that take their frustration with their own unathletic kids out on others. lacrosse has big teams and they "bury" many kids in the middi lines. Run in and run out briefly but have the fun of being on the team. If the child hates sports with even limited contact then try swimming , running, tennis lessons. Everyone does not enjoy sports even if athletic. My DD was fast and extremely coordinated but hated soccer and lacrosse. Found them boring. In high school many non-athletes [not too successful at football, basketball, soccer] fulfill sports requirements by being on cross country or other teams. If there is no sports requirement a school usually has phys ed. My DH and I don't care about sports and we have a child who is interested. As parents we are supportive. |
Anonymous
| I like the response of 10/23 at 10:14, personally. I wasn't an athletic teen. I had nice girlfriends, got married, had kids, poked my way through a marathon... No big deal. Boys do admire other boys who shine in sports, but I must say I still had a good life, had friends, was happy. |
Anonymous
| If he wants to be involved in sports, maybe he can be a coach's aide, equipment/ball/water boy. Some guys I knew who were too small or slow or not athletically talented got involved by being the coxswain, athletic director's helper, etc. |
Anonymous
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OP, have you asked your son what he likes to do outside of school?
There is also school band, language classes, etc. But ask him what he wants to do. If he says "nothing", then help him to set up playdates with his friends. As a kid, I just played with friends after school, no sports. I never wanted to do anything organized outside of school. That might have seemed odd to my mom, but I remember just wanting to do what I wanted to do, and not wanting to have to take direction from adults during my free time after school. So in HS, I joined Cross Country and track to help with getting in a good college. All you do is run. Problem solved. |
Anonymous
| To add to the individual sports suggestions, how about skateboarding, bike racing (indoor or outdoor), motocross, climbing, hiking, snowboarding, body boarding or surfing? |