Too many relationships before marriage = jaded?

[Anonymous]

I know plenty of people who married young (didn't have many relationships) who are pretty jaded.

I don't think number of relationships before marriage makes a difference.

Most people get kind of cynical by the late 30s, no matter what path they took (lots of relationships or marriage right out of high school/college). In your 20s, married or dating, you have a certain level of romanticism/idealism. As you get older, you become more realistic/pragmatic.

That said, I think, no matter what your situation is, after going through a period of cynicism, some people realize that you have to actively cultivate enchantment (both with life and with your partner). And some eventually find a way to bring back some of the magic of youth, but this time, they do it knowing what the world is like. It's a more grounded kind of romanticism.

What you describe sounds like you and your friend settled, and your blaming cynicism from dating as your reason for settling. For other people, lots of dating experience actually pushes them in the other direction: they are less likely to settle because they realize after some bad relationships that being alone is better than being unhappy.

YMMV.

[Anonymous]

*you're blaming

[Anonymous]

This hasn’t been the case for me and my circle. Thankfully even my “bad” relationships weren’t that bad, they just didn’t work out, so nothing to be particularly jaded about. I’m also pretty optimistic and tend to gravitate towards similar people so I think that’s part of it too.

[Anonymous]

What is the definition of a relationship? I was involved with three people for at least a year and a few others where you date for 4 or 5 months. Can't say any were bad.