How to tell a child they must leave a school that they love?

[Anonymous]

OP here, it's K at ITS. That list has moved sooo fast, I was not mentally prepared for it.

The reason for the move is that DC is not being academically challenged right now. It's not because of too many black kids in the upper grades, it's because of hardly any high-performing kids in any grade and because I know her friends are leaving anyway. They are working on some pull-outs or whatever, but I know it's nowhere near the challenge that DC needs. I like the teacher but the group work is far below DC's level.

I'm not sure that we'll be thrilled with ITS as a middle school because it's such a small program, but I know it's a recently created program so we'll see how it grows. I would choose it over our IB middle school in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

Lol. She's five.

I can already tell you won't do this well, but if you tell her about this exciting thing she won't care in about two days.

[Anonymous]

Move her. If it doesn’t work, which it totally will, since it’s your IB, move her back. Don’t tell her this is an option. Go to the playground at the IB school regularly and maybe try to have playfates with her friends, but also work to foster friendships at ITS. It shouldn’t be that difficult as it’s Avery welcoming community.

- lots of friends there, would move from our IB if we ever got in

[Anonymous]

Definitely move her. Get the academics right! She’ll make new friends and will enjoy it more if she has some academic peers. Her friendships from PK-4 are unlikely to be lifelong friendships away.

I moved my daughter two weeks into K last year from a school she was comfortable with. She did fine. It took about 2 months fir her to be equally comfortable with the new school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol. She's five.

I can already tell you won't do this well, but if you tell her about this exciting thing she won't care in about two days.

Rude. Give OP some credit for knowing her own child’s personality and respecting it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely move her. Get the academics right! She’ll make new friends and will enjoy it more if she has some academic peers. Her friendships from PK-4 are unlikely to be lifelong friendships away.

I moved my daughter two weeks into K last year from a school she was comfortable with. She did fine. It took about 2 months fir her to be equally comfortable with the new school.

Thank you. What exactly did you say to her to explain the move?

[Anonymous]

Different poster. How about using some common sense here?

Take her to visit the new school before you send her there for a whole day, show her around, introduce her to her new teacher and classmates, get the uniform/t-shirt,if they have one, and have her put it on and take pictures. Tell her that she will be going to a great new school where you can make new friends and learn interesting things. The new school will work better for our family, because the kids will behave better and you won't get bored there, not this year, or in kindergarten. Tell her that she can have a treat at the end of every day of the first week at the new school for being brave and strong about going there.

She will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, it's K at ITS. That list has moved sooo fast, I was not mentally prepared for it.

The reason for the move is that DC is not being academically challenged right now. It's not because of too many black kids in the upper grades, it's because of hardly any high-performing kids in any grade and because I know her friends are leaving anyway. They are working on some pull-outs or whatever, but I know it's nowhere near the challenge that DC needs. I like the teacher but the group work is far below DC's level.

I'm not sure that we'll be thrilled with ITS as a middle school because it's such a small program, but I know it's a recently created program so we'll see how it grows. I would choose it over our IB middle school in a heartbeat.

I'm in a similar situation but chose IB over moving.

K was not an easy place for academic challenges because the school was not set up for it. K was just not that academically focused.

We're a few years into early elementary now and it keeps getting better. The school and teachers continue to get better at providing individualized work. There are also classmates who have stepped up their game. Not all kids develop at the same rate. Some who didn't do anything amazing academically in K are doing great now. Our IB also has really small class sizes, so that helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, it's K at ITS. That list has moved sooo fast, I was not mentally prepared for it.

The reason for the move is that DC is not being academically challenged right now. It's not because of too many black kids in the upper grades, it's because of hardly any high-performing kids in any grade and because I know her friends are leaving anyway. They are working on some pull-outs or whatever, but I know it's nowhere near the challenge that DC needs. I like the teacher but the group work is far below DC's level.

I'm not sure that we'll be thrilled with ITS as a middle school because it's such a small program, but I know it's a recently created program so we'll see how it grows. I would choose it over our IB middle school in a heartbeat.

I'm in a similar situation but chose IB over moving.

K was not an easy place for academic challenges because the school was not set up for it. K was just not that academically focused.

We're a few years into early elementary now and it keeps getting better. The school and teachers continue to get better at providing individualized work. There are also classmates who have stepped up their game. Not all kids develop at the same rate. Some who didn't do anything amazing academically in K are doing great now. Our IB also has really small class sizes, so that helps.

Thanks. Do you mind saying the school? I feel like our K is overly academically focused, but at a lower academic level than DC is at. DC has a reading pull-out but still, most of the morning is spent on Fundations type stuff that is age- and level-appropriate for most of the class but not for her.

[Anonymous]

Lots of kids transition from preschool to kindergarten at different schools.

ITS will become her beloved school within 2 weeks. You need to remove your own anxiety about the transition from the conversation.

[Anonymous]

This thread gets 2 apples out of 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, it's K at ITS. That list has moved sooo fast, I was not mentally prepared for it.

The reason for the move is that DC is not being academically challenged right now. It's not because of too many black kids in the upper grades, it's because of hardly any high-performing kids in any grade and because I know her friends are leaving anyway. They are working on some pull-outs or whatever, but I know it's nowhere near the challenge that DC needs. I like the teacher but the group work is far below DC's level.

I'm not sure that we'll be thrilled with ITS as a middle school because it's such a small program, but I know it's a recently created program so we'll see how it grows. I would choose it over our IB middle school in a heartbeat.

In less than 2 weeks, your K DC is not challenged? I predict you will be moving your child many times before this is all over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, it's K at ITS. That list has moved sooo fast, I was not mentally prepared for it.

The reason for the move is that DC is not being academically challenged right now. It's not because of too many black kids in the upper grades, it's because of hardly any high-performing kids in any grade and because I know her friends are leaving anyway. They are working on some pull-outs or whatever, but I know it's nowhere near the challenge that DC needs. I like the teacher but the group work is far below DC's level.

I'm not sure that we'll be thrilled with ITS as a middle school because it's such a small program, but I know it's a recently created program so we'll see how it grows. I would choose it over our IB middle school in a heartbeat.

In less than 2 weeks, your K DC is not challenged? I predict you will be moving your child many times before this is all over.

+1
I don’t doubt that ITS may be better in the upper grades for OP’s child, but I don’t know what kind of challenge she expects this early in the school year. Classrooms are still establishing routines at this point, which she’ll likely find at the new school as well. Somehow that won’t be a problem though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, it's K at ITS. That list has moved sooo fast, I was not mentally prepared for it.

The reason for the move is that DC is not being academically challenged right now. It's not because of too many black kids in the upper grades, it's because of hardly any high-performing kids in any grade and because I know her friends are leaving anyway. They are working on some pull-outs or whatever, but I know it's nowhere near the challenge that DC needs. I like the teacher but the group work is far below DC's level.

I'm not sure that we'll be thrilled with ITS as a middle school because it's such a small program, but I know it's a recently created program so we'll see how it grows. I would choose it over our IB middle school in a heartbeat.

In less than 2 weeks, your K DC is not challenged? I predict you will be moving your child many times before this is all over.

I know, in my kid's kindergarten class they are all learning how to properly draw a capital letter and playing with math manipulatives. This is a high performing school where there are no pull-outs. It would seem more genuine for OP to own the choice and move the kid, rather than claim it's because there is no academic challenge after 2 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, it's K at ITS. That list has moved sooo fast, I was not mentally prepared for it.

The reason for the move is that DC is not being academically challenged right now. It's not because of too many black kids in the upper grades, it's because of hardly any high-performing kids in any grade and because I know her friends are leaving anyway. They are working on some pull-outs or whatever, but I know it's nowhere near the challenge that DC needs. I like the teacher but the group work is far below DC's level.

I'm not sure that we'll be thrilled with ITS as a middle school because it's such a small program, but I know it's a recently created program so we'll see how it grows. I would choose it over our IB middle school in a heartbeat.

I'm in a similar situation but chose IB over moving.

K was not an easy place for academic challenges because the school was not set up for it. K was just not that academically focused.

We're a few years into early elementary now and it keeps getting better. The school and teachers continue to get better at providing individualized work. There are also classmates who have stepped up their game. Not all kids develop at the same rate. Some who didn't do anything amazing academically in K are doing great now. Our IB also has really small class sizes, so that helps.

Thanks. Do you mind saying the school? I feel like our K is overly academically focused, but at a lower academic level than DC is at. DC has a reading pull-out but still, most of the morning is spent on Fundations type stuff that is age- and level-appropriate for most of the class but not for her.

It's a DCPS EOTP. I don't really want to get into one school versus the next. ITS might be fine too, but it might be a lot of churn for no real benefit.

It's OK to relax in kindergarten. There's a lot of learning to play well with others that goes on.

One measure that we found important was how well the teachers admin we're willing to work with us. We never felt like we got the brush off, and instead the principal was able to walk through how some strategic things she was doing would work to the benefit of high performing kids.