Is my friend obnoxious or am I oversensive?

[Anonymous]

When people "helpfully" point out of stuff, I drag them into fixing the problem. They usually back off very quickly. "Oh yes there are some paint blemishes, thank you for offering to come over and paint! How's next Saturday?"

[Anonymous]

Very mean spirited. Despite her financial situation, she has low self esteem. Yes, call her out and be blunt. " Why are you so rude, having a bad day? Keep her at arm's length. she's toxic. Don't be surprised when her marriage crumbles.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, people who talk like that typically had to point out others’ flaws or shortcomings to make themselves feel better about their own lives. You see a lot of it here on DCUM. I would just limit my time with this “friend.” I also don’t get hurt or bothered by stuff like this. My house is really old, too, and you can even see defects in the drywall or plaster in some places. But it’s my cozy home that is perfect for me. She’ll never be happy no matter what she does, so you are the winner here, even if she tries to make you feel otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, people who talk like that typically had to point out others’ flaws or shortcomings to make themselves feel better about their own lives. You see a lot of it here on DCUM. I would just limit my time with this “friend.” I also don’t get hurt or bothered by stuff like this. My house is really old, too, and you can even see defects in the drywall or plaster in some places. But it’s my cozy home that is perfect for me. She’ll never be happy no matter what she does, so you are the winner here, even if she tries to make you feel otherwise.

Yes, I can see this. It’s unfortunate though.

To PP above, yes she has redeeming qualities I think. She’s bubbly and pretty charismatic except for the digs here and there. She can work a room and people in a way I never could. She’s also really good at knowing and getting what she wants. Again, something I struggle with.

[Anonymous]

^^ But I’m not jealous of her for those things. I’m generally happy with who I am and when I’m not, I try to do things to improve myself.

[Anonymous]

When you call her out, her come back will probably be "I'm just Kidding". Tell her to stop being the mean girl.

[Anonymous]

When she says something rude and uncalled for, respond with "Do you feel better now having said that/ pointed that out?"

[Anonymous]

Why not tell her that "you'll make sure to invite her over to re-paint the house next weekend".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not tell her that "you'll make sure to invite her over to re-paint the house next weekend".

Okay, so the paint comment already happened. Are you thinking that the rude friend will repeat it again?
OP is looking for general ways to respond when the rude friend makes comments like that. She was giving it as an example. It doesn't mean the rude friend has been repeatedly saying that one specific comment and OP doesn't know what to say.

[Anonymous]

Rude

[Anonymous]

Your friend is an ass.

[Anonymous]

She is threatened by you for some reason (I don’t know you so I can’t say what it is, but that statement isn’t a slight). Her behavior screams insecurity. She wants to elevate her standing in public by attempting to lower yours through insults. it’s immature and pathetic.

PPs have had excellent advice to call her out. This woman won’t stop her BS until you do call her out and let her know you won’t put up with it. The very next time she does this, no matter who this is in front of, call her out, directly and calmly. Look her right in the eye and stand your ground. She’s not a friend.

“I’m sorry, but did you just say what I think you said? Why on earth would you say.....”

“Are you serious? Why would you ever say....”

“Let me get this straight, I have a dead end job? From your lips to God’s ears, glad we got that out of the way. Anything else you want to add?”

seriously, do it, each and every time until she stops

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Why would you say that?” really is often the best response. Don’t think for a minute that your new neighbors didn’t think she was rude. Does her husband act embarrassed or try to change the subject when she does this? She sounds insecure and like she feels inferior to you and has no idea how to handle those feelings.

Yes, her DH definitely calls her out when she says things within his earshot.

Don't worry - he will tire of her and dump her in a few years. No one can stick with someone who is always obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

When this woman makes rude comments in the future call her out, every time. Be as direct as “wow, that was rude. Anyway...” and change the subject. She will likely come back and say “omg, just kidding!” and you can say “uh huh. Anyway...” and go on with changing the subject. When she sees you won’t just take it anymore, she’ll stop.

[Anonymous]

Don’t engage the substance of what she’s saying. Just say “Wow...” in a deadpan voice and then change the subject. If she persists, then say “Wow...” and then pointedly and emphatically say “Changing the subject,...” and start a completely new topic. If she persists after THAT you can say “I was finding your comments kind of abrasive/rude so I was politely changing the subject.”