Nephew likes an 18 year old, and he is 26

[Anonymous]

Personally: if he is saying it's not her looks, it's her personality, that says a lot about how mature he is.

You don't have a voice in this other than that. At one time, I was dating a 24 year old at 18. But that doesn't mean I wasn't mature for my age: it was that he was too immature for his age. He was incapable of finding someone that would give him the time of day-- for whatever reason it may have been.

When someone told me that: that it wasn't how great I was, it was how not so great he was, I dumped him. If he had the maturity of a 18 year old, and thus looked for a 18 year old, it wasn't going to be a linear maturity for him. And I wanted someone to grow old with, without the extra baggage knowing he liked much younger women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perfect age gap relationship. Nephew should hold onto her and propose when she seem open to the idea. Lots will happen between now and them. If they are still together in a few years, they'll probably have a great marriage.

I am not a fan of messing with a good relationship, even if the two are young and have not "lived". Nephew is not controlling, and he is aware that she might meet someone else. However, he is in love.

[Anonymous]

She's legally an adult but they are in completely different life stages. She's probably going off to college and who knows where she going end up after that. She might take a job or go to grad school in another state or country. A mid-20s person thinking about marriage and kids shouldn't be dating an 18 year old.

[Anonymous]

How long have they been dating?

You seem overly concerned about how attractive she is. He seems to be prematurely wondering whether she'll be ready to marry him before his self-imposed deadline of age 30.

[Anonymous]

Just help him make sure he doesn't get her pregnant. Give him boxes and boxes of condoms.

[Anonymous]

OP - are you a man?

[Anonymous]

They met in college. She turns 19 soon. He was out of school doing overseas volunteer work for two years, then finished college, and just started grad school last year. Not sure if her parents know that he is taking this huge interest. I guess is that any mother would discourage such a relationship

[Anonymous]

What’s the big deal? If they want to date and pursue a relationship they can. Doesn’t mean they will end up married. Let them have fun.

[Anonymous]

It really depends on the girl and your nephew. On the surface, I would say she likely isn’t ready BUT there are folks that are old souls, know their mind, and aren’t afraid to speak up for themselves. Also, is your newphew dating her because he can’t handle someone his age or does she have all the qualities he is looking for and happens to be 19 when he typically dates his age?

[Anonymous]

It is their life and nothing wrong with the age gap. They will figure out if it works or not.

They may have some shared hobbies or interests, they may be at similar maturity levels, they may have shared goals. They could be very compatible. Or not. They will figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They met in college. She turns 19 soon. He was out of school doing overseas volunteer work for two years, then finished college, and just started grad school last year. Not sure if her parents know that he is taking this huge interest. I guess is that any mother would discourage such a relationship

I was going to ask if he’s still in school. If so, I think it’s ok - it worked out fine for me. I met and dated my now-DH when I was an undergrad and he was a grad student. We are happily married 15+ years later.

[Anonymous]

Who are we to say that they are not perfect for each other. Yes, they are young, but they are legal. Even though there is an age disparity, it is not an unacceptable disparity.

Your nephew should become a high earner and then marry this girl. Everything else will work out. Also do not understimate the power of good looks. If this girl is beyond beautiful, your nephew will not be happy with someone who is not that beautiful. He will always be hungup on her. If both are nice people, I see no harm. Let them be.

[Anonymous]

One thing is for sure, OP: Neither your nephew or his girlfriend need for his big fat busy body witch of an evil aunt to stick her wart covered hairy nose into their business and try to f@ck up what just might be a great relationship, with a little time, and a little luck, and no asswipe relatives trying to destroy it.

[Anonymous]

Its gross that a 26 year old is scheming on how to ensnare an 18 year old who is just entering adulthood. let her live a little!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally: if he is saying it's not her looks, it's her personality, that says a lot about how mature he is.

You don't have a voice in this other than that. At one time, I was dating a 24 year old at 18. But that doesn't mean I wasn't mature for my age: it was that he was too immature for his age. He was incapable of finding someone that would give him the time of day-- for whatever reason it may have been.

When someone told me that: that it wasn't how great I was, it was how not so great he was, I dumped him. If he had the maturity of a 18 year old, and thus looked for a 18 year old, it wasn't going to be a linear maturity for him. And I wanted someone to grow old with, without the extra baggage knowing he liked much younger women.

This is so weird. What 18 yo thinks like this??