S/O Why does society judge people's weight? When did it start judging? Please be polite.

[Anonymous]

My grandparents born in the 19th century were the worst at judging fat people. The pressure to be slim has been around since the Industrial Age (remembe Virginia Slims? Or corsets?). I’m sure standards were different when people were dying a lot from dysentary and plague—a little fat probably indicated you didn’t have any of those things.

I do think the judging of old people has increased a lot. 30 years ago no one was complaining that a middle aged woman with four kids had let herself go because she went gray and put on some weight around the middle. Now we are all expected to have no gray hair, wrinkles, or fat until at least 70. It’s exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it odd though how many things that were previously stigmatized -- having kids out of wedlock, homosexuality, divorce, interracial relationships -- are not judged and being fat is. We've grown so much more tolerant as a society in so many regards. Why is it still okay to fat shame? Yes, gluttony's a sin but technically so is divorce, so is promiscuity, so is abortion, etc. We are much less likely to judge those sorts of issues than we are to judge a fatty.

And we're willing to accept that families are different, people are different in terms of their genders and being trans, etc. yet we're not willing to accept different body shapes.

I find it hard as a fatty because it's like I have to wear my sins on the outside of my body all the time and be judged. If I was shooting up heroin in the privacy of my home, or if I was an alcoholic, you wouldn't even know. But because you can see that I'm fat, it's open season on the moose lady.

I don't know where to start with this. Being gay isn't some kind of self indulgent behavior. But being overweight is exactly about indulgence. Stop being a martyr. And btw, it is totally within your control to lose that weight.

[Anonymous]

I work in a hospital with the sickest patients, the ones who have 4 or 5 chronic diseases and are now in their final year of life.

Every. single. one. of these patients brought their chronic disease and shit quality of life on themselves due to lifestyle factors that were entirely within their control: smoking, excess drinking, and bad diet/obesity. So, so much obesity. This is in a large DMV hospital btw.

Their lifetime of choices is now affecting us all, because we are directly paying for their very, very expensive health care via Medicaid & Medicare.

Someone is going to post now about how this ^^^ is entirely the result of poverty vs. privilege, and lack of access to preventative health care, and health disparities etc etc. Not the case in my big hospital: the majority of these fat, sick people were middle income, one-time professionals and/or well-paid tradesmen & blue collar workers with gold-plated health insurance. Lots of WMATA drivers and mechanics, public school teachers, city/state/federal office workers, etc.

I do feel sorry for them, yes, but I also inwardly judge them for bringing this hell onto themselves. And when their fat family members shuffle in to see them clutching their bags of fried Chik-fil-A and Popeyes and stink up their hospital rooms, I judge them silently too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandparents born in the 19th century were the worst at judging fat people. The pressure to be slim has been around since the Industrial Age (remembe Virginia Slims? Or corsets?). I’m sure standards were different when people were dying a lot from dysentary and plague—a little fat probably indicated you didn’t have any of those things.

I do think the judging of old people has increased a lot. 30 years ago no one was complaining that a middle aged woman with four kids had let herself go because she went gray and put on some weight around the middle. Now we are all expected to have no gray hair, wrinkles, or fat until at least 70. It’s exhausting.

As a mildly overweight kid in the 80s I agree older generations were far more judgemental. I would never tell someone their kid is fat now but plenty of my parents friends told them I needed to lose weight. Looking back at photos of myself back then, I look normal weight.

[Anonymous]

People extrapolate on others' weight to make a presumptions.
Youre fat? You must be lazy, have no self discipline, lack will power, low class, dont care about your appearance, burden on the healthcare system, etc. Those traits make me not want to be friends with you especially since I'm the opposite of all that.
See how that works? See how sizing up others subconsciously happens?

[Anonymous]

People are insecure, and weight is visible. It’s easy to put down people who have a visible struggle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
No, in medieval and Renaissance Europe, where peasants were regularly stricken by bad harvests and starvation, it was considered more beautiful to have a rounded body and be rosy-cheeked, because this showed good health and financial means. Go read some history and look at some classical paintings.

Having a wasp's waist was also a goal, and stays or corsets were laced very tight, sometimes leading to fainting fits (which is why ladies carried smelling salts to be revived). This was all about having a classical hour glass shape figure.

The trend to be waif-like is very new and recent, as far as human history goes. It is only when humans in the developed world were liberated from the threat of starvation that some thought thin was a good idea!

Based on history, people always judged other people appearance. We can go as far as ancient Greece or bible times. You are correct that in past rounded body were considered more attractive. But I don't think that conclusion was based on the actual weight. It was based on the health assessment. In past, we considered skinny people are either sick or malnourished. Therefore, it was not attractive. Now, based on the current knowledge and study, we consider skinny bodies are healthy. Now we know that extra fat around your heart or other internal organs is cause of many health problem and lead to premature death. I think it is like an animal instinct, when dogs are assessing other dogs, humans always will be assessing other humans' bodies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it odd though how many things that were previously stigmatized -- having kids out of wedlock, homosexuality, divorce, interracial relationships -- are not judged and being fat is. We've grown so much more tolerant as a society in so many regards. Why is it still okay to fat shame? Yes, gluttony's a sin but technically so is divorce, so is promiscuity, so is abortion, etc. We are much less likely to judge those sorts of issues than we are to judge a fatty.

And we're willing to accept that families are different, people are different in terms of their genders and being trans, etc. yet we're not willing to accept different body shapes.

I find it hard as a fatty because it's like I have to wear my sins on the outside of my body all the time and be judged. If I was shooting up heroin in the privacy of my home, or if I was an alcoholic, you wouldn't even know. But because you can see that I'm fat, it's open season on the moose lady.

I think you piled up everything together. A lot of people still don't accept a lot of that you listed above. And those people still judge homosexuality, kids out of wedlock, etc.

Alcohol in moderation is not a big deal, but if you an addict, everyone would see it. you cannot hide your appearance and behavior if you are an addict. It is shows off. Same is with the food addiction, people know when you have unhealthy habits of eating too much.

[Anonymous]

People used to smoke and take amphetamines or cocaine to keep at a healthy weight. Moms used to smoke to keep from gaining a lot of baby weight. Now we don't and we fat.

I miss the good ole days.

[Anonymous]

I agree that a lot of it is how it affects other people. Besides for the economic costs, even smaller things like walking down the street, sitting in meetings, on the metro, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People used to smoke and take amphetamines or cocaine to keep at a healthy weight. Moms used to smoke to keep from gaining a lot of baby weight. Now we don't and we fat.

I miss the good ole days.

Does smoking cigs make you feel full?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People used to smoke and take amphetamines or cocaine to keep at a healthy weight. Moms used to smoke to keep from gaining a lot of baby weight. Now we don't and we fat.

I miss the good ole days.

Does smoking cigs make you feel full?

Nicotine is an appetite suppressant. It makes you not feel hungry. It also speeds up your metabolism. When my dad quit smoking, he gained 50 pounds in a matter of months. It took him years to loose that weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this is an American thing - in some other countries/cultures it's good to be plump.

Also, there's some weird issue with doctors. I'm fat and have asked several doctors for help and used very direct language about being worried about my heart, cancer, knees, diabetes, etc., and flat out said, "I feel like this is a crisis situation and really need help." And all but one (the one I just started seeing) wouldn't help. They wouldn't say "No" but their actions said no.

At my heaviest (190), I also begged for help and was told to do a free internet health coaching program. I lost 20 in 6 mos, gained it back in 6 mos. What really helped me was a nutritionist which we paid for OOP.

I'm honestly curious what is it that you didn't know and needed a nutritionist to tell you. Did you honestly, seriously not realize that eating fast food and a ton of processed crap is bad for you? What was the dietary change that you made that lowered your weight that you didn't know before?

If you were going to tell me that going to a cooking class changed your life because you realized that you really can make healthy food at home, then I'd believe it. I think the ability to cook has been lost in the recent 2 generations and it takes a conscious effort to get it back. I'd even buy that having some sort of "accountability coach" would be helpful for some people. Or going to a type of "fat camp" where they are physically away from bad food for long enough to break the cycle and instill some healthy habits. But just knowing what to eat or what not to eat (i.e. the stuff a nutritionist could tell you)....? I'm having real trouble believing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work in a hospital with the sickest patients, the ones who have 4 or 5 chronic diseases and are now in their final year of life.

Every. single. one. of these patients brought their chronic disease and shit quality of life on themselves due to lifestyle factors that were entirely within their control: smoking, excess drinking, and bad diet/obesity. So, so much obesity. This is in a large DMV hospital btw.

Their lifetime of choices is now affecting us all, because we are directly paying for their very, very expensive health care via Medicaid & Medicare.

Someone is going to post now about how this ^^^ is entirely the result of poverty vs. privilege, and lack of access to preventative health care, and health disparities etc etc. Not the case in my big hospital: the majority of these fat, sick people were middle income, one-time professionals and/or well-paid tradesmen & blue collar workers with gold-plated health insurance. Lots of WMATA drivers and mechanics, public school teachers, city/state/federal office workers, etc.

I do feel sorry for them, yes, but I also inwardly judge them for bringing this hell onto themselves. And when their fat family members shuffle in to see them clutching their bags of fried Chik-fil-A and Popeyes and stink up their hospital rooms, I judge them silently too.

The very definition of a compassionate caregiver!

Ugh. You are ignorant. You are awful. You should be ashamed of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think deep down we're pretty primal; we see someone who we assumes eats a lot as a threat--"they might take my food." Or we see someone we perceive as heavy as literally a burden--if the pack had to move quickly, this one would slow us down.

That's just pure speculation on my part, but I think when you boil it down to visceral reactions, there it is.

Your second point is actually fairly applicable even in life today, especially in cases like having to escape quickly from an aircraft in an emergency. One big person would literally block other people in. I suppose the same could be said of some disabled people, but in that case at least a strong person would have a chance to move and/or carry them.