My dad has a crush on a woman...how to navigate?

[Anonymous]

OP here -- Thanks for the tough love, DCUM. I tend to walk on eggshells too much around her. I try to keep boundaries but she makes it difficult. I just want a decent relationship with everyone.

FWIW the divorce was her fault, not his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't support divorce of any kind. I would never support a new relationship. I would become that woman's worst nightmare.

You may find yourself very lonely one day.

[Anonymous]

My only advice would be not to spend the holidays with the new woman for at least another year or so.

Just not worth the shit show from your mom.

[Anonymous]

I think it's lovely that your dad has an interest and possibly a companion. Your mom should be told that you will not discuss this with her and that she should leave your father alone.

[Anonymous]

I would not rub it in your mom’s face. But is she gets upset a put it, that is on her, not you. Just refuse to engage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's lovely that your dad has an interest and possibly a companion. Your mom should be told that you will not discuss this with her and that she should leave your father alone.

Thank you, I think so too. He deserves to find happiness.

I will be spending the holidays with her as usual and will definitely NOT be bringing it up, ever!

[Anonymous]

It is not your job to manage your mother's feelings about her divorce. You are her child, not her therapist. You are not responsible for maintaining her emotional well-being via making sure your father stays single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boundaries. If/when your mother finds out, do not listen to your mother's tirade. Remind her that this is YOUR father and she picked him. Tell her to find a friend/therapist to discuss her issues.

Plus your relationship with your father is just that - your relationship. Tell her that it is none of her business how you relate to your father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -- Thanks for the tough love, DCUM. I tend to walk on eggshells too much around her. I try to keep boundaries but she makes it difficult. I just want a decent relationship with everyone.

FWIW the divorce was her fault, not his.

Just keep reminding yourself - it's not your responsibility to make her happy. That is within her control, not yours.