Scared to tell my mom I’m getting back with my boyfriend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound very young. Your first mistake was moving to your parent's house after breaking up. You NEED to live alone (or with a roommate) and date your old boyfriend.

+1000. Your mom is treating you like a child because you’re acting like one. Playing house with your boyfriend is not what strong, mature women do in circumstances like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We broke up simply because we were just living our lives and co existing. I would go to work come home eat watch tv sleep and he would do the same and wouldn’t really spend time together. I guess you can say we forgot to value each other in a way. My mom just thinks it’s a sin to live together before marriage and she’s upset I’m not a virgin basically. Even if we weren’t getting back together I wouldn’t want to live with my parents. My mom annoys me and it’s always her way or the high way. She’s upset because she doesn’t think he’s the right man for me.

So, you think that living together will solve this problem? It will just make it so that it's that much harder to get out of the rut you are in. Get your own apartment. Don't move in with someone you just broke up with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound very young. Your first mistake was moving to your parent's house after breaking up. You NEED to live alone (or with a roommate) and date your old boyfriend.

+1000. Your mom is treating you like a child because you’re acting like one. Playing house with your boyfriend is not what strong, mature women do in circumstances like this.

+2000. It is perfectly fine for you to try to give it a go with your exboyfriend if you think things will be different in your relationship and that he has the potential to be a long-term mutual partner to you who knows how to work things out, really discuss things, not get defensive/ jealous, etc. There is NO way that moving in together to try this out is the right thing. And it's completely a good thing to remove yourself from your mother's house so that you can develop more independence. Mature, well-balanced women know how to stand on their own two feet. You should come up with a plan to move out of your mom's house that does not involve an ex. You should find a girlfriend/ roommate and learn how to live on your own. You can certainly try things out with your ex, but try DATING him to see if your relationship improves. If not, you're not stuck with a jerk and having to move back into your mom's house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound very young. Your first mistake was moving to your parent's house after breaking up. You NEED to live alone (or with a roommate) and date your old boyfriend.

+1000. Your mom is treating you like a child because you’re acting like one. Playing house with your boyfriend is not what strong, mature women do in circumstances like this.

+2000. It is perfectly fine for you to try to give it a go with your exboyfriend if you think things will be different in your relationship and that he has the potential to be a long-term mutual partner to you who knows how to work things out, really discuss things, not get defensive/ jealous, etc. There is NO way that moving in together to try this out is the right thing. And it's completely a good thing to remove yourself from your mother's house so that you can develop more independence. Mature, well-balanced women know how to stand on their own two feet. You should come up with a plan to move out of your mom's house that does not involve an ex. You should find a girlfriend/ roommate and learn how to live on your own. You can certainly try things out with your ex, but try DATING him to see if your relationship improves. If not, you're not stuck with a jerk and having to move back into your mom's house.

Op here. Thanks all for your suggestions. I don’t think we’ll be moving out.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, don’t do it. If you guys couldn’t make it the first time, nothing is going to change. You don’t even have a mortgage, kids, big things happening and it didn’t work out. Try again with someone better suited for you.

[Anonymous]

Why not try dating without living togethor? That will give you both time to see if it works. Also, if you cannot live by yourself or with roommates, there is no way any relationship is going to work. You need to figure out how to live without living with family.

[Anonymous]

What’s the end game? Are you guys talking marriage? If so, can you each financially stand on your on so when combined you start off doing well versus living paycheck to paycheck?

My mom is probably similar to your mom in some ways. I didn’t live with my boyfriend until we were engaged and they knew he could support himself without me and vice versa. Those are probably the main reasons she didn’t say too much about it. Out of curiosity what was the back story with your mom living together with your dad before marriage. How does she see her situation in light of yours? I’m wondering if she either has some regrets and wants you to do things differently or really feels it was different for some reason. Maybe they were more independent or more on the marriage path or needed to do so for some joint goal like one is going to grad school in a different city and you know you are getting married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound very young. Your first mistake was moving to your parent's house after breaking up. You NEED to live alone (or with a roommate) and date your old boyfriend.

+1000. Your mom is treating you like a child because you’re acting like one. Playing house with your boyfriend is not what strong, mature women do in circumstances like this.

+2000. It is perfectly fine for you to try to give it a go with your exboyfriend if you think things will be different in your relationship and that he has the potential to be a long-term mutual partner to you who knows how to work things out, really discuss things, not get defensive/ jealous, etc. There is NO way that moving in together to try this out is the right thing. And it's completely a good thing to remove yourself from your mother's house so that you can develop more independence. Mature, well-balanced women know how to stand on their own two feet. You should come up with a plan to move out of your mom's house that does not involve an ex. You should find a girlfriend/ roommate and learn how to live on your own. You can certainly try things out with your ex, but try DATING him to see if your relationship improves. If not, you're not stuck with a jerk and having to move back into your mom's house.

+3000 Or worse, you will be moving out but be on the hook for the rest of your lease so you're looking at paying for an apartment you don't live in, or ruining your credit.

This is a crazy idea, OP. You can get back together with your boyfriend without becoming financially entangled. Make sure you are committed first. If he won't do that, then he is not the one for you.