Why will a husband who detests you not leave

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids and money. He could lose 100% of his kids and 50% of his money. Simple math!

Remind us why would he lose 100% of his kids?

Because that is how the courts work. If Mom refuses visitation there are few consequences except by the rare judge to change custody.

Lawyer here. That's false. Many jurisdictions - including DC and MD have a presumption of joint custody.

This is the case even if prior to the divorce one spouse handled most or all child- related responsibilities.

NP. Theory and practice. Minimal consequences for not adhering to the custody agreement.

If a custody order is in place, all the parent with visitation needs to do is pick up the child from school 1/2 hour early on his or her weekend and return the child to school on Monday. Minimal consequences for that parent, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids and money. He could lose 100% of his kids and 50% of his money. Simple math!

Remind us why would he lose 100% of his kids?

Because that is how the courts work. If Mom refuses visitation there are few consequences except by the rare judge to change custody.

This is not at all accurate unless there are safety or other major issues.

[Anonymous]

Most likely he does not want to cause the kids pain, and does not want to stop seeing the kids every day.

[Anonymous]

Power game played by narcissist (i.e. the husband). He could see the children if he wanted to do so - no one said the wife was trying to restrict access.

[Anonymous]

Because he really loathes himself not you. Self-loathing depression inertia.

[Anonymous]

Because he knows you want him to leave and he doesn't want to give you that satisfaction of getting what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because he knows you want him to leave and he doesn't want to give you that satisfaction of getting what you want.

Ergo, sadist.

If you suddenly act like you want him to stay, he’ll leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids and money. He could lose 100% of his kids and 50% of his money. Simple math!

Remind us why would he lose 100% of his kids?

Because that is how the courts work. If Mom refuses visitation there are few consequences except by the rare judge to change custody.

Perhaps years ago but not now. Judges are getting more pro-dad. My brother has custody of my niece because his ex wanted to move to NY for a better job. Since it wasn't a move required to keep her job and was one she was opting to take, he went back to court and custody was reworked. My niece visits her mom every other weekend, spring break, rotating holidays, and 6 weeks in the summer. It used to be when people heard this, they automatically assumed it was because his ex had some kind of drug/alcohol/legal problem because wasn't the norm for dads to get custody like this, but now they'll chime in with "oh yeah my (random male) has custody of his kids because blah blah blah."

[Anonymous]

Laziness. When XDH moved out, it was to a friend’s basement, and he only got his own place when they kicked him out. Meanwhile he left all his stuff all over the house and our bedroom. After a month I put the bedroom stuff (who wants to go to sleep surrounded by piles of your ex’s clothing?) in garbage bags, put them on the front porch, and told him he had a week to get them before I called the Salvation Army. It took me maybe 1/2 year to move the rest of his stuff in bags and boxes to the porch for him to pick up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids and money. He could lose 100% of his kids and 50% of his money. Simple math!

But he'd get 50% of HER money so it's a wash.

[Anonymous]

You want to separate/divorce, you leave. Why should he do all the work to move?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want to separate/divorce, you leave. Why should he do all the work to move?

Seems like you missed the point - OP says he hates her. Obviously he loves causing her, the children and himself pain. No spine.

[Anonymous]

He wants YOU to kill the puppy, he doesn't want to do it himself.

If you want him to do it, you have to do something that makes him so mad he packs up and leaves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would they be waiting for you to leave? He hates the house, which is a rental house. So it is not the house.

He is passive aggressive and wants YOU to act out HIS emotions and wants. Plus if you leave and abandon the family he’ll feel like the good guy and think you’ll look like the bad guy.

Call his bluff or ignore him. He sounds incredibly immature. He’s not going anywhere, he is too big a wuss and indecisive to make the tough calls.

[Anonymous]

I like what Hillary Clinton did to Bill. Just stay, cuckhole him and everyone knows he’s a terrible husband anyhow. Total sham marriage but don’t free him to go get the goodies.