Does your SO share qualities of your opposite-sex parent?

[Anonymous]

Yup, 100%. Quiet, patient, loyal, trustworthy, and a total nerd. They aren't the same in a few critical areas (DH isn't afraid of showing emotion or having heart to heart conversations like my father is), but I found a man with good character qualities, for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the surface, yes - and that is great!

IRL, once you know DH - he is nothing like my dad.

You're disappointed that he doesn't share the same qualities that you wanted, that you dad has?

How can this be both subconscious and something that you wanted enough to be disappointed by not getting?

[Anonymous]

My dad was abusive and cruel and unpredictable. The only time he was involved in our lives was when he was punishing us.

I picked a guy because I was drawn to how involved he was in everything -- went grocery shopping with me, etc. Only later did I realize that he's not involved, he's controlling. It felt so good not to be neglected and ignored that I didn't really notice that my husband was actually micromanaging me and everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the surface, yes - and that is great!

IRL, once you know DH - he is nothing like my dad.

You're disappointed that he doesn't share the same qualities that you wanted, that you dad has?

How can this be both subconscious and something that you wanted enough to be disappointed by not getting?

My dad was a resilient, strong, tough, hardworking guy.

[Anonymous]

No. I am a lot like my dad so it would not have worked out. My DH is a kind, sweet, patient and loving with an easy going nature. Complete opposite of me.

[Anonymous]

Nope. My wife is very, very different from my mom.

[Anonymous]

Somewhat.

They are both kind. Same birth order. Both generous.
But, one is into fitness, the other not. One is good with finances, the other less so. Political affiliations are divergent, although not as much as they think. Both can get along with most people.

[Anonymous]

My SO is actually the best of my mom — Nurturing, caretaker, loving, same altruistic career — and the best of my dad — analytical, take charge, responsible.