"Be Tough"

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but this is 1) a generational thing for grandparents (who view many kids as too soft now - and honestly to some extent they ARE coddled) and 2) most definitely a guy thing. Boys are taught to be strong, confident and stand up for themselves from a young age. So for many of us its just par for the course to hear male role models talk about being tough. YES, its important to ensure that the child doesn't view the comments as referring to fighting or being a jerk/aggressive, but most often that's clear in the context used. There's nothing wrong with a boy having a big heart etc, but they will also be teased, bullied and pushed around by more confident boys etc if they aren't encouraged to stand up for themselves and yes - even hide their feelings a bit in front of other boys. Mnd you I'm not talking about a 1-4 year old, but from 5 up this be tough/be strong talk isn't unusual.

Case in point, my 5.5 year old was at a playground this weekend and got bumped from behind by two boys running past him and he started to cry. I told him I'm sorry that happened, it was an accident and the boy apologized. But DS kept crying. I told him its ok to be upset, but it was just a bump, so try to be tough and let it go. Call me bad but most fathers I know see this as normal. If DS cries every time some kid bumps into him on the playground he's going to be teased in Kindergarten which he starts in 4 weeks.