S/o “opening the marriage”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a claim that if a DW doesn’t have sex with her DH, she has opened the marriage to him having sex with other women. It’s been compared to the DW eating out if the DW refuses to cook. I’m curious if that outsourcing applies to everything. Specifically:

If the DH decides he doesn’t want to have a baby, shouldn’t the DW just purchase some sperm from a donor and meet her needs that way?

In general, yes I do believe that if a spouse is not holding up their end of a relationship in some important matter, the other side is free to go meet that need elsewhere. A sexless DW has chosen not to participate in the sex life of her spouse, and loses any right to "vote" when he does that elsewhere.

Your example of a sperm donor is not equivalent because the DH would be (legally/financially) considered the "father". That is not something you can force upon your spouse: the cost to raise a child is several hundred thousand dollars. In the case of a no-sex open marriage, DH going elsewhere has no negative implications for DW: she's not getting sex she never wanted anyway so there is zero cost to her.

His time, energy, and probably financial resources are going elsewhere so that’s a cost to her and any kids they might have.

And not every state presumes the DH is the father. Plus, DCUM shows that the courts are very lax in enforcing paternal financial responsibilities. If she can afford the child without DH’s income, why not have one?

Really? My FWB when I was married cost me almost nothing over 4 years. Just cab fare to her apartment. We went out for drinks twice. My non-performing ex-wife, on the other hand, cost about $1 million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a claim that if a DW doesn’t have sex with her DH, she has opened the marriage to him having sex with other women. It’s been compared to the DW eating out if the DW refuses to cook. I’m curious if that outsourcing applies to everything. Specifically:

If the DH decides he doesn’t want to have a baby, shouldn’t the DW just purchase some sperm from a donor and meet her needs that way?

Er, who has claimed this? There’s just one demented guy on these threads that touts this theory; it’s far from accepted widely.

You don't know too many men in low sex marriages, do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless she’s gonna throw the baby away after the birth I’d say there’s the small issue of who’s gonna be the guy that rarely sees the kid and complain about not having “me” time? She’ll have to hire sperm man to come over right at bath time and go storming off to the den to play on his phone. Awkward!

This is halarious