I'm more than a little brokenhearted--baby prefers the nanny.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny and a mom. My own child has gone through this and so have most of the children I've cared for over the last 10 years. It is a phase, even though it is can break your heart. It does show that your child has a good attachment to the caregiver, and that is important. Your baby does know you are her mother. It probably is about transition at the end of the day, which is hard time for almost all kids.

Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

I am a journalist looking for a mom with a child 18 months or younger, who suspect that the baby prefers the nanny to them. If you're interested in being interviewed, please email me at [e-mail] and I will give you more info. Thanks! Amy

[Anonymous]

Your child doesn't really prefer the nanny. But if it helps, once your child hits the "separation anxiety" stage (our daughter's hitting it now, in her 17th month), she may make it a LOT clearer that she does in fact miss you when you're gone. My daughter LOVES her daycare so there've been times when I've felt like chopped liver when I dropped her off and she didn't notice I was leaving, or when I picked her up and she didn't want to leave. (this has happened almost daily since 10 months or so.) I find it reassuring that she likes her daycare so much, since I don't have a choice to work or not. (and quite frankly, if I did have the choice, I'd still work.) Lately, my daughter has to be distracted by a caregiver or she'll freak out when I leave her there, and she is REALLY happy to see me when I come to pick her up. I admit, I was kind of psyched the first time that happened.

[Anonymous]

Totally a normal, this is a phase that will pass. I remember around this age my son did the same thing. Then the daycare provider went off on vacation for 2 weeks, so we had our son home and took our own little family vacation. It strengthened the bond between us and snapped him out of this phase. He still loves his provider, but no more tears when he sees me.

[Anonymous]

I try to RUN home to my son from work and JUST Yesterday I told my nanny that he was following her (with his eyes and head as he is only 5 months) and not really noticing or paying attention to me. I like what the PP said about intellectually knowing it is so important that he likes the person he spends most of his day with, but that emotionally it is heart breaking. I also have a 3.5 year old daughter and I remember going through the same thing with her when she had a nanny. I didn't experience it with her daycare - and she has loved all her teachers (although she was 2 when she started daycare). All I can say is that it doesn’t last forever. Although my daughter still remembers the nanny and loves her she FOR SURE knows I am the mommy. My daughter and I can stare at each other for hours and tell each other how much we love each other. I try to shower my son with kisses and hugs and play time when I am with him as well. He seems to like it, but I am sure it makes me feel better about being away from him. I also talk myself through some things - each time I pump I think about it as taking care of my son even though I am stuck in the office. It really is a hard situation which unfortunately moms who have to work are stuck with.

[Anonymous]

I know it's hard to feel grateful for a nanny that seems to be the apple of your kid's eye, but it beats the heck out of having your kid be the nanny's worst nightmare. I'm a provider and I really make it a point to make a big deal out of mommy or daddy being there to pick them up, because in general, they don't want to go home because they're having a good time. I know it hurts, my daughter once told me that she wanted to live with her teacher instead of me and I was crushed! Then I thought about it and I remembered how much her other provider dreaded seeing her walk through the door and I was feeling really blessed that she had a teacher now that totally adored her and the she loved, too. Don't worry, no one can take a mom's place. I think that kids just go through phases and then they outgrow them. It'll pass, don't worry.

[Anonymous]

People, this post is from OCTOBER 2009. A journalist resurrected it looking for folks to interview. Can we stop now?

[Anonymous]

Because no one else has ever had this issue before. If you don't want to read it, don't open it.