To all the Nasty Parents

[Anonymous]

Is there a ref? Are there coaches? This seems a situation for the ref and/or the respective coaches to handle. Parents are setting a bad example for their own girls and yes, sounds like heckling a ten yr old. Step back, parents.

And no - before you say it because I know you are thinking it - I am not OP either.

[Anonymous]

As I have found over years of coaching, it is usually the adults in the equation and not the players who ruin things, for their own kids as well as others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DD was not fouling anyone or being overly aggressive. She takes good sportsmanship seriously, for example, if she gets tangled up with another player and the other player or both of them fall down she helps her up and asks if she ok. She really is an exceptional athlete, I'm not just saying this, I've been told by coaches and parents for years. I think the parents are responding to the fact that DD can out run their kids and steal the ball away from them and score. So they were heckling her pretty badly. This has never happened before where she was being called out by her jersey #, I've hard it in the past where they will yell at the ref saying that play wasn't fair or whatever, but it was never directly at her and never personal like it was last night. She has always been able to ignore that type of stuff in the past, but last not was different, it was vicious.

I'm saddened and surprised that people automatically assume its her fault somehow, instead of being appalled like I was that grownups are acting this way at a child's game.

Okay, but I have three kids who are in lots of sports and the only time I have seen this extent of upset from parents is when an otherwise talented kid was elbowing and pushing players down and the ref wasn't calling it. The parents were mean and wrong but they were reacting to being worried for their child's safety. I have never, not in many years of watching many different kinds of sports at higher levels and lower levels, seen parents act like this just because a child could "out run their kids and steal the ball away from them and score." Never. No one is saying your child is doing anything wrong on purpose but you seem really defensive to a fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DD was not fouling anyone or being overly aggressive. She takes good sportsmanship seriously, for example, if she gets tangled up with another player and the other player or both of them fall down she helps her up and asks if she ok. She really is an exceptional athlete, I'm not just saying this, I've been told by coaches and parents for years. I think the parents are responding to the fact that DD can out run their kids and steal the ball away from them and score. So they were heckling her pretty badly. This has never happened before where she was being called out by her jersey #, I've hard it in the past where they will yell at the ref saying that play wasn't fair or whatever, but it was never directly at her and never personal like it was last night. She has always been able to ignore that type of stuff in the past, but last not was different, it was vicious.

I'm saddened and surprised that people automatically assume its her fault somehow, instead of being appalled like I was that grownups are acting this way at a child's game.

Okay, but I have three kids who are in lots of sports and the only time I have seen this extent of upset from parents is when an otherwise talented kid was elbowing and pushing players down and the ref wasn't calling it. The parents were mean and wrong but they were reacting to being worried for their child's safety. I have never, not in many years of watching many different kinds of sports at higher levels and lower levels, seen parents act like this just because a child could "out run their kids and steal the ball away from them and score." Never. No one is saying your child is doing anything wrong on purpose but you seem really defensive to a fault.

And you sound overly cynical and quick to suggest excuses for what ultimately amounts to grown men/women heckling a 10 year old. Again, there’s a ref. Let them do their job. Cheer for your own kid and support their teammates. Leave the opposing players alone. It really is not that difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I recommend confronting these people in person instead of venting on an online anonymous forum.

Agree totally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DD was not fouling anyone or being overly aggressive. She takes good sportsmanship seriously, for example, if she gets tangled up with another player and the other player or both of them fall down she helps her up and asks if she ok. She really is an exceptional athlete, I'm not just saying this, I've been told by coaches and parents for years. I think the parents are responding to the fact that DD can out run their kids and steal the ball away from them and score. So they were heckling her pretty badly. This has never happened before where she was being called out by her jersey #, I've hard it in the past where they will yell at the ref saying that play wasn't fair or whatever, but it was never directly at her and never personal like it was last night. She has always been able to ignore that type of stuff in the past, but last not was different, it was vicious.

I'm saddened and surprised that people automatically assume its her fault somehow, instead of being appalled like I was that grownups are acting this way at a child's game.

I agree with you. Why are some on DCUM so nasty? I'm sorry this is happening to your kid. All your points are valid. I also agree with the other poster that said you should confront them. If it continues to be unwarranted and nasty I would totally approach the parents. I would also probably talk to the ref's and whoever else in charge. I am not normally an aggressive or confrontational person, but if a grown ass adult is going to be NASTY to my child, my mama bear will come out. It's easy to heckle a 10 year, how about you try saying that stuff to me as I stand right here in front of you???

[Anonymous]

I am a parent of two very athletic children that were the biggest kids in their sport. They were constantly called out by parents. The message I would give your daughter is they are calling you out because you are good. If you sucked, no one would be heckling you.

I think it's wrong and shocking, but on the other hand, it's not getting any better and it's the sports culture. It will get worse, WAY WORSE, the older she gets. So either figure out coping strategies for her and hopefully it will make her thrive. If it doesn't, she's probably not cut out for a serious competitive athletic career.

One thing my DH has done before is he goes and sits right next to the parent(s) doing the heckling. Even if it's the opposing team's side. And then he makes it abundantly clear he is the parent of heckled child by being very vocal himself. Most people will be shamed into shutting up in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Parents can be horrible. They were so heckling so bad at one of my son's games, the ump told them to stop or the game would end. So impressed because the ump was just a teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents can be horrible. They were so heckling so bad at one of my son's games, the ump told them to stop or the game would end. So impressed because the ump was just a teen.

People will heckle the teen umps/refs too.

Sports parents are the worst of the worst. Some truly unhinged humans.

[Anonymous]

Oh god. All sports parents are the worst. Including OP, with her “elite athlete” 10 year old. Sports contribute very little to the world, except domestic violence and nationalism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh god. All sports parents are the worst. Including OP, with her “elite athlete” 10 year old. Sports contribute very little to the world, except domestic violence and nationalism.

No, all sports parents are not the worst. Some see the value taking pride in what you do and trying to be the best at it, staying in shape, enjoying the outdoors, and being on team. Sports aren't everything, true, but they do contribute positive things to the world like joy and passion, for everyone involved. There are always those that want to ruin a good thing and then say it's the "thing" that is bad. Live and let live.

[Anonymous]

The 16 year old or older teen sister of an 8 or 9 year old was screaming at her brother the whole time for payback when the kid her brother was guarding would score on him. Both her brother and the kid on our team are very good and there was no fouling or otherwise aggressive play. Payback? At 8? Ok then.

[Anonymous]

Just wondering.. are any sports leagues even active during summer break? What sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh god. All sports parents are the worst. Including OP, with her “elite athlete” 10 year old. Sports contribute very little to the world, except domestic violence and nationalism.

An 'elite' 10-year-old athlete should be on the national junior team. Maybe OP's child isn't that 'elite'.

[Anonymous]

You said elite. OP said exhibits athletic ability and talent. You’re ragging on a 10 year old you don’t even know because of something you made up in your own head.