When he does something that makes me feel angry, he becomes the victim.

[Anonymous]

from wiki: "Victim playing (also known as playing the victim, victim card or self-victimization) is the fabrication of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse of others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy or attention seeking."

Applies to your husband, and to most anyone else who claims to be a victim. It is a tool to be used against others.

[Anonymous]

OP, what made you raise your voice? That does sound to me like an overreaction unless you'd asked him to stop and he hadn't. Especially since you acknowledge he wasn't trying to be malicious or annoying. If you had just said, "hey, could you stop? I don't like that," then that would solve the problem without him saying you'd freaked out.

[Anonymous]

I get it OP. You feel like you are not allowed to be angry, even if/when anger is an appropriate response. I think you need to work on expressing your anger in a less emotional way. He needs to work on being able to acknowledge that you are angry. Easier said than done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it OP. You feel like you are not allowed to be angry, even if/when anger is an appropriate response. I think you need to work on expressing your anger in a less emotional way. He needs to work on being able to acknowledge that you are angry. Easier said than done.

Yes, this. Thank you.

You’re right, in hindsight I did overreact but I was also just so grossed out.

I’m not reacting to him touching me, but just don’t pick me!! Ugh. Over it now though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:from wiki: "Victim playing (also known as playing the victim, victim card or self-victimization) is the fabrication of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse of others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy or attention seeking."

Applies to your husband, and to most anyone else who claims to be a victim. It is a tool to be used against others.

I agree with this. It's like OP's husband in the nit-picking thread who always turns things around and brings up her bad habits.