About to write my brother off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a lot to unpack here. The examples you cited of “irresponsible” behavior seem like absent-minded things I could see myself doing. If you didn’t want your nephew to come, you should have said “sorry, that’s not going to work for us.” I’m not sure how his financial situation is your business and/or affects you (he doesn’t pay alimony? So what?).

I’m sure this is all coming from a place of stress. I’m very sorry about your cat. We had to put our beloved cat down recently from a tumor also. It is heartbreaking.

I’ve been helping him pay bills. If he can afford pot, he can pay his own bills

Exactly. So stop giving him money.

[Anonymous]

OP my dad was a douche growing up too. I appreciated having a few normal relatives who cared about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a lot to unpack here. The examples you cited of “irresponsible” behavior seem like absent-minded things I could see myself doing. If you didn’t want your nephew to come, you should have said “sorry, that’s not going to work for us.” I’m not sure how his financial situation is your business and/or affects you (he doesn’t pay alimony? So what?).

I’m sure this is all coming from a place of stress. I’m very sorry about your cat. We had to put our beloved cat down recently from a tumor also. It is heartbreaking.

I’ve been helping him pay bills. If he can afford pot, he can pay his own bills

Exactly. So stop giving him money.

Welp, since this is the first month in which these problems came to light, your response is quite obvious, is it not? Or are you just the type that needs to be 'right' all the time, without regard for timelines?

My concern here is for my minor nephew. He told me himself that my brother leaves his pot/paraphernalia in plain sight. I explained to my nephew that pot is against the law in the state my brother lives in, and there is danger if a neighbor calls someone to report, given he is a minor. Personally, I don't give a crap if someone smokes pot, so long as they are (a) not asking me for anything and (b) not endangering their minor child or anyone else besides themselves.

What I DID do is tell my S.I.L. (they are divorced) so if SHE chooses to take action (such as not letting my nephew visit my brother in the other state, but only come to their home state) she can. Otherwise, I've let my brother know I don't plan to enable him financially, or otherwise, and I'll focus my attention on my elderly parents and my sister, who is helping them, in a third far-away state.

And thanks to all for your condolences regarding our beloved pet.