New Empty Nester -- anyone want to start a group?

[Anonymous]

It's not pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee.
The correct spelling is pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

[Anonymous]

unbelievable above

[Anonymous]

Empty nester, This is why you want to just go all zen. We have been dealing with this dc mom mentality for years and the time has come to heal and nurture yourself. Celebrate...you are a survivor. We just visited our son in college and realize all our hard work raising our child and searching for the right school has been well worth it.

[Anonymous]

Thanks pp. Yours and one other were the only 2 to respond to the question directly w/o "snarking" -- nice to hear your son is doing well. Hope he loves his new school.

[Anonymous]

OP: Congrats on a job well done. It must feel so good to know that you set your child up so nicely. I hope to be there one day, but I have many, many years ahead of me!! And, P.S. I think its okay to take a little credit for getting your kid into an ivy etc. Sometimes I think its easier to announce those things annoymously than to say to in person.

[Anonymous]

ahh-- three nice replies. Thank you. Your child will do great with so nice of a parent. I am certain. And to respond to the snarks -- I really wasn't trying to take credit since it was my daughter and not me taking all of those hard tests, spending hours planning sports, etc. like every other kid.

I was just trying to say I was so thankful to be at the finish line -- that moms put so much effort in getting the kids to all of their activities -- and then time flies by and it's all over. I think a lot of people assumed the worst in my post. So to clarify -- I'm not taking any credit.

I grew up in a huge family -- some turned out great and some didn't (with the same parents). So, a lot of life has to do with luck and being at the right place at the right time and taking advantage of the opportunities as they present themselves.

[Anonymous]

I have to admit I find your post a bit depressing. I mean from the perspective that I will probably find myself in the same position eventually.

No advice other than to say perhaps consider getting a job or volunteer doing something you have always thought would be great and/or lots of fun.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she wants new friends, but only of the sort who also had kids at top privates and now in the Ivies?

"Snark" is slang. Does that mean we can't use words like "you people" and "pleeeeeaseee" either? Oh wait, you just did. I wasn't the one who used the word here, but I do think it serves as a great descriptor, and a great onomatopoeia, for some of the nastiness that goes on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this in the private/independent schools forum?

I would say because this is something which defines the OP to some degree (it does to me to some degree). I take pride in my child's education, or the pains I have gone through to give him what I think is a good education, and when he trots off to Stupendous University, I would think I would also want a group who were similar to me in this way.

Before you all go getting out your grenade launchers, look through the private school forum and tell me that to some degree, a lot of us don't identify ourselves through our children's education credentials.

[Anonymous]

But would you exclude from your group people whose kids went to public school, even though they may have received an equally good or superior education and gone to Super-Stupendous U?

And frankly, once the kids have flown the coop, isn't that a good time for a parent to start defining him/herself by something else?

[Anonymous]

PP: I don't think the OP indicated she only wanted to hang with folks that send their kids to top schools. Don't asume until you have been there. I Know I would connect with the OP. It really is all about finding the right place for each individual child. Those that have been through this process will understand.

Your second paragraph is insightful. Yes, it is time for the empty nester to spread their wings. That is exactly what the OP is doing. Meeting new people who have had the same experience. I don't think any of us devote all our time and heart and passion into this college process and walk away without having been changed in some way. Maybe we suffer from PTSD (just kidding, kinda).

Let's all send loving kindness to those who have yet to go through this process. May your child find their hearts desire and may you find the money to pay for it. Let's all send loving kindness to those who have gone through this process that they may find peace in their changing role as a parent.

[Anonymous]

No, but her posting in this forum suggests--unless it was an oversight--that she is interested in limiting her group to folks whose kids attended private school, which I still find odd. If the point is to bond with people who have been through the college process, I'm sure public school parents would have just as much experience and empathy to share.

[Anonymous]

I read the OP and see what you mean. Let's give this competitive Mom a chance. After all, she did raise a kid in this area. It sounds like she really got caught up in DC ugly scene. I have a sister who is raising her child in that lifestyle, and they are all miserable. My wish for this Mom is that her child fail a class so she can learn what it means to be humble. My wish for this child is that she realizes that the best things in life are free. And I hope she realizes that she does not need to hang with wealthy people who are on a DC power trip to feel important.

[Anonymous]

birds of a feather . . .

[Anonymous]

meow and meow... men ae so much nicer than women