My College-Age D is Requesting a Psychiatric Counseling for Hyperactivity/ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I thought about this today and here's what I wonder:

She claims she can't concentrate.

Yet, she has pretty darn good but imperfect grades, a step down since high school (suggesting she is plenty able to concentrate).

ADHD drugs are abused all the time by high powered students. (We would all do better in the short run with a little bit of speed in our system.)

I know she is unhappy and clearly something isn't right, but for my money it sounds more like she is failing to be superwoman rather than just failing.

I would take her to a therapist to talk to but I would be very resistent to thinking this is a problem that can be fixed by Adderall. But definitely get her someone to talk to.

Hyperfocus is actually a symptom of ADHD. Sometimes people with ADHD can focus with astonishing intensity. Or it could be that she had figured out some coping mechanisms that let her get through high school, but college proved to be more difficult and more stressful and her old strategies aren’t effective enough anymore.

Your idea that she made good grades so it must not be ADHD is the reason so many kids slip through the cracks. A lot of adults are being diagnosed now because their kids are being diagnosed and they see the symptoms in themselves. Their parents also thought they were doing ok so it couldn’t be adhd, they’re just unorganized/lazy/chronically late/daydreamer. Learn more about ADHD before recommending people don’t get treatment for it.

I did not recommend that she avoid treatment - in fact, if she saw a decent therapist (as suggested), this would come up along with all sorts of other potential troubles. If you think that these drugs don't get abused, you are naive. If you think that college kids don't sometimes just feel stress once they are in a bigger pond, then you are naive. I suggest that before you act like such a snot to a well-meaning poster, you learn not to medicalize every possible challenge people encounter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I thought about this today and here's what I wonder:

She claims she can't concentrate.

Yet, she has pretty darn good but imperfect grades, a step down since high school (suggesting she is plenty able to concentrate).

ADHD drugs are abused all the time by high powered students. (We would all do better in the short run with a little bit of speed in our system.)

I know she is unhappy and clearly something isn't right, but for my money it sounds more like she is failing to be superwoman rather than just failing.

I would take her to a therapist to talk to but I would be very resistent to thinking this is a problem that can be fixed by Adderall. But definitely get her someone to talk to.

OP here. I've lived with someone with mental health issues. Her mom. I don't recommend this on any one. They go through the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows. They take you through a living hell. My D doesn't know about her mom's diagnosis. But it was very odd she told me, on her volition, that she would like to see a psychiatrist because she's hyper. She even said the high stats and all her EC activities were masking the problems she didn't/couldn't talk about. This, I have been watching in my D ever since she was little, with knowledge some mental issues may not come up until she's right about this age.

Also, thank you for all the postings here. Each and every posting provided me with ideas on how to proceed going forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She does not really need a psychiatrist, but that is fine. They will evaluate and prescribe medicine.

She needs a psychologist. The school should have them on staff or should be able to recommend one close to the school. Call the disabilities office.

She needs to learn meditation and mindfulness to help with her racing brain.

Get her a psychologist ASAP now that she is home and by the time she is off to school she should be already learning how to manage her issues.

BTW, she has anxieties, clearly from you post. Those can be managed with meditation too.

Don't go the SSRI route until she has tried to manage her anxieties with a psychologist.

ADHD meds have a short life but might increase her anxieties.

If money is not an issue, lower her course load and allow her to graduate in more time... what is the rush.

Given her mother's mental health issues, a psychiatrist sounds completely reasonable to me.

A psychiatrist is fine but not necessary since her primary care can deal with anxiety and ADHD.

She needs a psychologist. She needs coping strategies.

Also her issues might stem from living with somebody with BPD,that is a tough road.

[Anonymous]

Primary most often will NOT deal with anxiety and especially adhd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Primary most often will NOT deal with anxiety and especially adhd.

Every primary deals with anxiety and ADHD.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you are a little worried that she may be faking the ADHD. All the more reason to see a psychiatrist, or a specialist who tests for adult ADHD. They are trained to ferret out fakers. Plus, there are drugs now for ADHD that are designed to be extended release so you cannot abuse them/snort them, etc.

And guess what? ADHD medicine works differently for people who really need it vs. those who are faking. I was a lot like your daughter - extremely high grades in my 1st year of college at an extremely competitive university, a varsity NCAA Div. 1 athlete, etc. I could hyperfocus but was also disorganized, procrastinated, etc. And extremely anxious.

It wasn't until I was in law school that I was properly diagnosed with ADHD. The meds made a huge difference in my life, especially my ability to study (really study - not just cram the night before under pressure) and pay attention in lecture. They did not make me speedy.

Best of all, my anxiety dialed way, way back. I also ended up on a low-dose anti-depressant, and my life got way better.

So please don't dismiss your daughter as a faker. A good psychiatrist will help determine what, if any issues she has.

Just because she is a high-achiever and gets good grades, does extracurricular stuff, doesn't mean she doesn't have issues. I was exactly the same way. Today I'm a successful lawyer, but I have to wonder how much more I might have achieved if I would have been diagnosed earlier.

Please encourage your kid to follow through on the treatment.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. Since my posting, my D had a chance to talk to two different psychiatrists. Both of them diagnosed her something along the line of bipolar/Schizophrenia. Apparently, some of the symptoms of ADHD and bipolar overlap. This is not obvious to a layperson, but I am at this point relying on an Ivy-trained psychiatrist who has agreed to continue to see my D with the use of teletherapy when she's away in college.

Thanks to everyone who posed, especially to the Anonymous at 06/28/2018 14:42.

[Anonymous]

She needs to have a buddy at school who will provide honest feedback to her if she is slipping into a maniac stage. It is difficult for bipolar people to judge their own behavior accurately. I would also give my phone number to that person and ask to reach out in case things go sideways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She does not really need a psychiatrist, but that is fine. They will evaluate and prescribe medicine.

She needs a psychologist. The school should have them on staff or should be able to recommend one close to the school. Call the disabilities office.

She needs to learn meditation and mindfulness to help with her racing brain.

Get her a psychologist ASAP now that she is home and by the time she is off to school she should be already learning how to manage her issues.

BTW, she has anxieties, clearly from you post. Those can be managed with meditation too.

Don't go the SSRI route until she has tried to manage her anxieties with a psychologist.

ADHD meds have a short life but might increase her anxieties.

If money is not an issue, lower her course load and allow her to graduate in more time... what is the rush.

Given her mother's mental health issues, a psychiatrist sounds completely reasonable to me.

A psychiatrist is fine but not necessary since her primary care can deal with anxiety and ADHD.

She needs a psychologist. She needs coping strategies.

Also her issues might stem from living with somebody with BPD,that is a tough road.

I disagree. Send her to the specialist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Since my posting, my D had a chance to talk to two different psychiatrists. Both of them diagnosed her something along the line of bipolar/Schizophrenia. Apparently, some of the symptoms of ADHD and bipolar overlap. This is not obvious to a layperson, but I am at this point relying on an Ivy-trained psychiatrist who has agreed to continue to see my D with the use of teletherapy when she's away in college.

Thanks to everyone who posed, especially to the Anonymous at 06/28/2018 14:42.

Getting help this early is really really good. Praises to her for recognizing it and asking for help! Praises to you for listening and taking her request seriously. I don't know where you are in the area, but NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) has some great parent groups in the area. They can be helpful in providing support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She needs to have a buddy at school who will provide honest feedback to her if she is slipping into a maniac stage. It is difficult for bipolar people to judge their own behavior accurately. I would also give my phone number to that person and ask to reach out in case things go sideways.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Since my posting, my D had a chance to talk to two different psychiatrists. Both of them diagnosed her something along the line of bipolar/Schizophrenia. Apparently, some of the symptoms of ADHD and bipolar overlap. This is not obvious to a layperson, but I am at this point relying on an Ivy-trained psychiatrist who has agreed to continue to see my D with the use of teletherapy when she's away in college.

Thanks to everyone who posed, especially to the Anonymous at 06/28/2018 14:42.

Getting help this early is really really good. Praises to her for recognizing it and asking for help! Praises to you for listening and taking her request seriously. I don't know where you are in the area, but NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) has some great parent groups in the area. They can be helpful in providing support.

+1 It's great that she noticed the problem and you supported her in getting help. I'd also find out what the health services are at her college so you are both prepared if she needs some one in person on short noticed.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the update, OP. I'm really impressed with both you. How insightful that she was able to recognize she needed assistance! How wonderful that you supported her. Best wishes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the update, OP. I'm really impressed with both you. How insightful that she was able to recognize she needed assistance! How wonderful that you supported her. Best wishes!

Indeed. Sounds like smart, caring thoughtful people. I wish you and your daughter all the best. You are doing a great job as a parent and she sounds like a remarkably self-aware and smart young adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She needs to have a buddy at school who will provide honest feedback to her if she is slipping into a maniac stage. It is difficult for bipolar people to judge their own behavior accurately. I would also give my phone number to that person and ask to reach out in case things go sideways.

This post above is right, OP. Your DD needs someone around who knows what she's like when things are OK and who is taught what to watch for as signs of either a manic or depressive state. And those signs can be very individualized so recognizing them can be challenging, at least at first before meds help regulate things. I had a friend whose manic periods looked like super efficiency and huge enthusiasm at work but also meant she was spending wildly, racking up debts, and coming up with some pretty wild thoughts ("I need to clean this windshield for my friend" ended up as smashing the windshield)....If no one around your DD knows her well enough to see changes in her, she needs someone who can see them. She should talk with her doctors about this side of things. People with BPD often really cannot see for themselves that they are sliding toward a manic or depressive episode. How would her doctors want to handle it? She can't be babysat, of course, but what do they recommend?

I also noted above that you said she had not been told her mom's diagnosis. Why not? DD may have a different diagnosis but she and her doctor both should know the family's full mental health history, OP. I'm sure dictors asked DD or you to list family medical history at some point in getting DD diagnosed. Not being able to list her mothers diagnosis is an issue (even if the diagnosis is ADHD and not BPD). Please help DD's doctors by telling her and them. She should know.