S/O: Bi Married Mom - feel like a fraud "coming out" again in hetero life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it OP. I'm a bi married woman. I think about this all the time, and especially at Pride time, I wonder if I'm hiding or contributing to the erasure of my community.

+1 Same. Very awkward.

[Anonymous]

I approach this from the other side, bi married to a woman, so default is lesbian. We don't have an open marriage so for all intents and purposes that's accurate. My closer friends know I'm bi and others who have heard me reference a previous relationship, but mostly it doesn't come up. Don't worry about what others assume about you, just live your life in a way that makes sense for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was out in high school (in a small town in the 90's!) and college, met DH, then the world assumed I was straight and now 15 years later almost nobody, aside from DH and a few of my oldest friends, know me as anything as other than straight. But I'm not straight even though I live a totally straight lifestyle and probably will for the rest of my life. It feels awkward to claim being bi/queer when I have the lifestyle and privileges of a straight person, but it also feels disingenuous and closeted to allow the world to assume I'm straight when I'm not. Anyone been in my shoes or know someone who has?

Why do you think the world cars what are you doing behind your doors?

[Anonymous]

I am shocked that there are still straight people who believe their sexuality is not front and center and in the rest of our faces every day. Sexuality is not sex acts. It’s taking about your weekend with your partner, having a photo on the desk, in this case being able to even talk about your past without having to switch the pronouns.

You all want to dismiss it but guess what... 52 percent of Gen Z (2017 Harris poll) is under the Lgbtq umbrella or “not straight”.... The chance that some of you reading this post have children who fell into that category are high. How about you try to listen to this OP and think about how you might be dissatisfied or curious or exploring about your own sexuality instead of saying no one cares. OP, I am also Bi And really struggled while I was married to a man about coming out about my sexuality. I think you should be out because the chances that people will start coming out to you and being supportive when you do are probably pretty high. At least this is been my experience. Good luck and I care, don’t listen to these frustrated and extremely rude people.

Ps to the rest of you... If you don’t care or have read comments why are you even in the section of the discussion forum? I little bit curious?

[Anonymous]

I think you just watched the movie Tully. That’s all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked that there are still straight people who believe their sexuality is not front and center and in the rest of our faces every day. Sexuality is not sex acts. It’s taking about your weekend with your partner, having a photo on the desk, in this case being able to even talk about your past without having to switch the pronouns.

You all want to dismiss it but guess what... 52 percent of Gen Z (2017 Harris poll) is under the Lgbtq umbrella or “not straight”.... The chance that some of you reading this post have children who fell into that category are high. How about you try to listen to this OP and think about how you might be dissatisfied or curious or exploring about your own sexuality instead of saying no one cares. OP, I am also Bi And really struggled while I was married to a man about coming out about my sexuality. I think you should be out because the chances that people will start coming out to you and being supportive when you do are probably pretty high. At least this is been my experience. Good luck and I care, don’t listen to these frustrated and extremely rude people.

Ps to the rest of you... If you don’t care or have read comments why are you even in the section of the discussion forum? I little bit curious?

NP

I get where you are coming from, and some of the PPs are rude and bigoted.

However, it does not really change anything for me, so I can understand why others do not think it is necessary to share this information. I still talk about my weekends with my partner the same, have the same photo on my desk, talk about my past the same.

I am probably bi(not really sure -felt attraction towards women), married to a straight man, and do not see why anyone has to know, besides my husband. And I only told my husband because I wanted a pass, which he refused to give me. lol

I understand what OP is feeling, but I do not have that struggle. Just like I don't tell people that I am attracted to men besides my husband from time to time, I don't tell them that I am attracted to women either.

And the only sexuality that matters to me is the one that I enjoy with my husband.

I am pretty certain that no child of mine will be afraid to tell me or my husband about coming out. Our position on such issues is pretty clear to anyone who knows us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked that there are still straight people who believe their sexuality is not front and center and in the rest of our faces every day. Sexuality is not sex acts. It’s taking about your weekend with your partner, having a photo on the desk, in this case being able to even talk about your past without having to switch the pronouns.

You all want to dismiss it but guess what... 52 percent of Gen Z (2017 Harris poll) is under the Lgbtq umbrella or “not straight”.... The chance that some of you reading this post have children who fell into that category are high. How about you try to listen to this OP and think about how you might be dissatisfied or curious or exploring about your own sexuality instead of saying no one cares. OP, I am also Bi And really struggled while I was married to a man about coming out about my sexuality. I think you should be out because the chances that people will start coming out to you and being supportive when you do are probably pretty high. At least this is been my experience. Good luck and I care, don’t listen to these frustrated and extremely rude people.

Ps to the rest of you... If you don’t care or have read comments why are you even in the section of the discussion forum? I little bit curious?

I sympathize with your sentiment but think your numbers are off.

https://www.advocate.com/youth/2018/7/06/study-says-only-two-thirds-gen-z-straight