Are men with ED still interested in sex?

[Anonymous]

My DH is having issues and I notice way less interest. He was laid off, is about 55 pounds overweight, has high blood pressure and is very stressed out. I have been giving him space to regroup. I don’t want to pressure him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is having issues and I notice way less interest. He was laid off, is about 55 pounds overweight, has high blood pressure and is very stressed out. I have been giving him space to regroup. I don’t want to pressure him.

55 pounds overweight? Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is interested but it makes him super insecure and ashamed (the worst thing a man can feel). Viagra and cialis help but I think the fear is always in his mind.

Yes, this is absolutely right. It's even worse if you have to put a condom on, which is a boner-killer even if you don't have ED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is interested but it makes him super insecure and ashamed (the worst thing a man can feel). Viagra and cialis help but I think the fear is always in his mind.

Yes, this is absolutely right. It's even worse if you have to put a condom on, which is a boner-killer even if you don't have ED.

My boyfriend has experienced ED b/c of heart medication he's taking. It was really hard at first. He was insecure and felt pressure to perform. The really good thing is that we've been able to talk about it. We are older, were both married for a long time, and are just in a good stage of life to be able to put these types of issues on the table. Now that we are really open about it, sex sometimes looks different, but it's still fulfilling. He doesn't feel the same pressure. I also tell him that menopause is around the corner for me (I'm 49) so just watch out. I might dry up like cactus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It took a while for him to accept that he was "losing it" it but there were physical reasons behind it and once he visited a urologist and realized what it was he was fine and the meds really worked. Almost too well but I'm not complaining. When he was "losing it" I thought I might be part of the problem as I'm no spring chicken so it was a relief to me as well.

This.

The meds seemed to work almost too well. He was noticebly larger and harder than he had ever been. He had more stamina too.

Same here - it felt like I was with a different man which was actually fun! He likes it too and refers to it as his WMD. Men should realize that Cialis can solve a problem plus have an added benefit. Now I know how porn stars can stay erect for so long.

OMG - I agree. The ads that caution you about a 4 hr erection are not a joke. I'm pretty sure my DH can stay erect for two hours and I'm just happy that the rest of him tires out faster than that. If he didn't tire out I'd need to call a friend!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, unfortunately they do. It just turns into this long drawn out mission to get him up and then quickly get it in before it goes limp again only for it to go limp anyway and then having to start all over. The entire evening is centered around his dick.

Here too. Even when he has viagra his mindset is still that he’ll lose erection. It’s not playful or spontaneous. We have to focus. He will help me finish after but routine can’t deviate from what he needs. The ED makes him sort of detached emotionally, or even erotically, and keeping boner focused in a very different way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, unfortunately they do. It just turns into this long drawn out mission to get him up and then quickly get it in before it goes limp again only for it to go limp anyway and then having to start all over. The entire evening is centered around his dick.

Here too. Even when he has viagra his mindset is still that he’ll lose erection. It’s not playful or spontaneous. We have to focus. He will help me finish after but routine can’t deviate from what he needs. The ED makes him sort of detached emotionally, or even erotically, and keeping boner focused in a very different way.

It took awhile for my DH to have confidence that the meds would work "on demand". Until he got the confidence, getting ready and foreplay was always strained. But he's fine now and while it's not always perfect he knows it it will come back. Both men and women need to have patience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, unfortunately they do. It just turns into this long drawn out mission to get him up and then quickly get it in before it goes limp again only for it to go limp anyway and then having to start all over. The entire evening is centered around his dick.

Here too. Even when he has viagra his mindset is still that he’ll lose erection. It’s not playful or spontaneous. We have to focus. He will help me finish after but routine can’t deviate from what he needs. The ED makes him sort of detached emotionally, or even erotically, and keeping boner focused in a very different way.

It took awhile for my DH to have confidence that the meds would work "on demand". Until he got the confidence, getting ready and foreplay was always strained. But he's fine now and while it's not always perfect he knows it it will come back. Both men and women need to have patience.

That’s great. I’m very happy it’s working for you both. My guy had had his prescription for a few years now. I’m thinking couples counseling might be as valuable as a prescription for us at this point. He’s not quite ready though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, unfortunately they do. It just turns into this long drawn out mission to get him up and then quickly get it in before it goes limp again only for it to go limp anyway and then having to start all over. The entire evening is centered around his dick.

Here too. Even when he has viagra his mindset is still that he’ll lose erection. It’s not playful or spontaneous. We have to focus. He will help me finish after but routine can’t deviate from what he needs. The ED makes him sort of detached emotionally, or even erotically, and keeping boner focused in a very different way.

It took awhile for my DH to have confidence that the meds would work "on demand". Until he got the confidence, getting ready and foreplay was always strained. But he's fine now and while it's not always perfect he knows it it will come back. Both men and women need to have patience.

That’s great. I’m very happy it’s working for you both. My guy had had his prescription for a few years now. I’m thinking couples counseling might be as valuable as a prescription for us at this point. He’s not quite ready though.

Has he been to a urologist or just his regular doctor? It can make a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, unfortunately they do. It just turns into this long drawn out mission to get him up and then quickly get it in before it goes limp again only for it to go limp anyway and then having to start all over. The entire evening is centered around his dick.

Here too. Even when he has viagra his mindset is still that he’ll lose erection. It’s not playful or spontaneous. We have to focus. He will help me finish after but routine can’t deviate from what he needs. The ED makes him sort of detached emotionally, or even erotically, and keeping boner focused in a very different way.

It took awhile for my DH to have confidence that the meds would work "on demand". Until he got the confidence, getting ready and foreplay was always strained. But he's fine now and while it's not always perfect he knows it it will come back. Both men and women need to have patience.

My experience is that you have to give the pill, or really part of a pill if she’s not interested in anything too time consuming, about 20 minutes to have an effect that mindset cannot defeat. So there is a little non-spontaneity.

[Anonymous]

Anyone out there try the shockwave therapy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is having issues and I notice way less interest. He was laid off, is about 55 pounds overweight, has high blood pressure and is very stressed out. I have been giving him space to regroup. I don’t want to pressure him.

His nick name is “Lucky.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, unfortunately they do. It just turns into this long drawn out mission to get him up and then quickly get it in before it goes limp again only for it to go limp anyway and then having to start all over. The entire evening is centered around his dick.

Here too. Even when he has viagra his mindset is still that he’ll lose erection. It’s not playful or spontaneous. We have to focus. He will help me finish after but routine can’t deviate from what he needs. The ED makes him sort of detached emotionally, or even erotically, and keeping boner focused in a very different way.

Yes, this has been very similar to my experience. Unfortunately, it's made me a whole lot less interested in sex.

[Anonymous]

Yes still interested. I had a hairdresser who goes into retirement homes tell me that many older women hate viagra, cialis, etc because their husband’s won’t leave them alone. To bad there is no medication for post menopausal women.

[Anonymous]

Men with untreated ED generally lose interest.