forgive and let go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, very gently, could your memory of what happened be skewed by the timing -- i.e. the fact that you were post partum? I had awful fights with my husband over nothing during this period, due to lack of sleep and hormones. Perhaps you felt "ganged up on" but can't remember the actual events because it was not that big of a deal, but lack of sleep and hormones made it seem like a big deal. I would forgive and forget. That time in your life is not a time I would make a lot of important decisions about.

Pp, stop it. Let’s trust that OP knows her own life and has accurately described it. This is not the same as fighting with your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, very gently, could your memory of what happened be skewed by the timing -- i.e. the fact that you were post partum? I had awful fights with my husband over nothing during this period, due to lack of sleep and hormones. Perhaps you felt "ganged up on" but can't remember the actual events because it was not that big of a deal, but lack of sleep and hormones made it seem like a big deal. I would forgive and forget. That time in your life is not a time I would make a lot of important decisions about.

Pp, stop it. Let’s trust that OP knows her own life and has accurately described it. This is not the same as fighting with your husband.

+100

I know that it can be hard to believe that some people treat other people poorly for little to know reason. Yet, it does happen. Usually, it's a reflection of inner turmoil and unhappiness. I'll bet that OP does have it on the head -- the siblings are unhappy that they have not found life partners.

OP, personality is persistent. Your family members have shown you who they are. If you can live with that, feel free to meet with them on whatever terms feel comfortable. If you feel like you can't trust them to interact with you respectfully, then I think that you can trust your instinct and put boundaries in place to protect yourself from their judgement.

[Anonymous]

OP,
I've had very similar things happen. I have two brothers and they gossip with my mom about me, and believe whatever she tells them. My brother also unleashed on me in a very hurtful way, based entirely on a false assumption. Yet I don't want to cut relations with everyone entirely (partly because that would be too much drama for me.)

I am learning to change my expectations, and to share less information. I limit my time with them. Give yourself time to grow a thicker skin and keep some distance.