Are we reaching a point where getting married/having children/owning home is just to damn expensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be careful not to presume that things in the vast majority of the country are as expensive as they are in DC and its inner suburbs.

Yes, but that recent study just came out that showed that young people aren't buying homes and are choosing to rent instead and they aren't having kids either. What was it, something like a 30% drop in the birth rate? I'll look for the link. That wasn't just a local story, but America as a whole.

Of the 25-35 year olds I know, less than a handful are homeowners. The rest are renters. A small few even rent with another couple so they can afford a nicer house. Only two couples have kids and the one couple is only planning on having one kid, that's it. Too expensive.

This was true with my friends 25-30years ago. The house purchase was after age 35 for most of my friends. Plus we were all in group houses for our twenties.

[Anonymous]

Skyrocketing student loan debt is having a serious impact.

[Anonymous]

Having kids and owning a home - sure, pretty expensive. But not the married part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It just depends on your expectations. If you expect to buy a nice house at 30 with kids, then yes it's too expensive for most people.

If you are willing to have a starter home, or condo with kids, I think it's doable, even in DC area.

I see too many younger adults think they should be able to afford the same things that a 40+ yr old has. I had this conversation with another person. They are much younger than my DH and I. I reminded this person that we are much much older, and we are at a different stage in our lives.

I just had this situation with friends who are 10 years younger. We have a different lifestyle because we are older and mid-career. It is unfair to compare. When I was their age and starting out, I didnt live this way!

[Anonymous]

Yes, college costs are ridiculous with annual costs rising much faster than inflation. But, on average, students only pay 1/3 to 1/2 the "rack" rate. The demographics are very negative for colleges because of the very low birth rate the past 15 years and they are desperate for students. Even upper middle income families are getting financial aid simply because they ask for it and say that school X is offering Y dollars and can you match it. If you have decent negotiating schools you can go to a very good private university for the same cost as a public university.

[Anonymous]

This is true in expensive areas for sure. But not at all in less expensive areas. I'm from the South and have also lived in the Midwest. Almost all the people I know on those regions marry, buy a house, and have kids in their late 20s-early 30s. I got married at 28, had my first kid at 30, and we bought our first house at 34. I was one of the last among my friends/relatives/acquaintances from home to do all of these things.

[Anonymous]

Most of my friends here have delayed children due to daycare and unpaid maternity leave costs. It takes a lot to save to cover 12 weeks unpaid and then still have enough for $$ daycare. College costs really aren't an issue. I'm 32.

[Anonymous]

I never understand this argument. We live an hour from Dc, but daycare in our town is $12k a year for an infant. If you’re working for minimum wage or very low paid (my sister was a private school kindergarten teacher making $21k a year 10 years ago), I get it. But my friends, neighbors who live in $400k 2500 single family homes, it’s not even 25% of their salary. Cost of living being what it is, salaries are higher, home prices are higher, daycare costs more but it’s not like the same $100k salary requires you to buy a $1M house and spend $30k/kid in daycare.

[Anonymous]

A reporter at Pew's Stateline happens to be working on a story on this very subject. He's looking for folks to talk with from around the country if anyone wants to get in touch. Details:

https://twitter.com/TimHendersonSL/status/999754087267782656

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of my friends here have delayed children due to daycare and unpaid maternity leave costs. It takes a lot to save to cover 12 weeks unpaid and then still have enough for $$ daycare. College costs really aren't an issue. I'm 32.

They will be though 20 years from now when a 4 year degree from a decent low tier school will cost around 250k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In certain areas where real estate is expensive, most people definitely need to downsize their housing expectations. This is what European cities have done for ages - families live in apartments.

I’ve happily raised my family in apartments. Better an affordable apartment near amenities than a place we can’t afford or out in the sticks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never understand this argument. We live an hour from Dc, but daycare in our town is $12k a year for an infant. If you’re working for minimum wage or very low paid (my sister was a private school kindergarten teacher making $21k a year 10 years ago), I get it. But my friends, neighbors who live in $400k 2500 single family homes, it’s not even 25% of their salary. Cost of living being what it is, salaries are higher, home prices are higher, daycare costs more but it’s not like the same $100k salary requires you to buy a $1M house and spend $30k/kid in daycare.

Everybody does not earn what people in your neighborhood earn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having kids and owning a home - sure, pretty expensive. But not the married part.

It is for the guy if the marriage fails and she files for divorce.

Or, it is for the woman if the marriage fails and he files for divorce. Many women are the primary breadwinners these days.

You people are delusional. In a marriage where there’s no house and no kids (because couple can’t afford it) what is there to divide? Alimony is a thing of the past and regardless of who makes more money both partners hold down jobs. So, tell me again why it’s too expensive to be married????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Housing, housing, housing.
We have exited the golden age of the post-war era, when incomes were rising for the fat middle of the population and housing was relatively affordable. As suggested by the PP, most people under 30 cannot buy a single family house in a decent school district within a 20 minute commute of their job.

The data suggest that more and more people think they will not do as well financially as their parents. And they are deciding not to have kids.

It's not just housing. Wages have stagnated, and healthcare costs have increased.

[Anonymous]

Condos but young people think they deserve to but a house for 600k