Ex lover wants to connect?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago a serious ex BF of mine showed up at my DH's surprise 40th birthday party - he was the date of a friend of mine. I did not mention this to my DH before the party so it was certainly a big surprise. He laughed it off and said bring all your old BF's around so they can see what a good deal you have. The point being if you are confident in yourself and in your relationship, an ex showing up is nothing to worry about.

That's bologna. First of all he wasn't trying to contact you. Someone out of the blue probably has ulterior motives. They have nothing to gain by allowing outsiders from years ago access to their lives.

[Anonymous]

Wtf? It's been 30 year's! You sound crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago a serious ex BF of mine showed up at my DH's surprise 40th birthday party - he was the date of a friend of mine. I did not mention this to my DH before the party so it was certainly a big surprise. He laughed it off and said bring all your old BF's around so they can see what a good deal you have. The point being if you are confident in yourself and in your relationship, an ex showing up is nothing to worry about.

That's bologna. First of all he wasn't trying to contact you. Someone out of the blue probably has ulterior motives. They have nothing to gain by allowing outsiders from years ago access to their lives.

Don't be so insecure though maybe you have reasons to be! Good luck with that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wtf? It's been 30 year's! You sound crazy.

I know 2 people whose marriages were broken up by the long lost whatever...lol

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]We [/b]received an unexpected message for a person that was my spouse lover almost 30 years ago and would like to reconnect. Not sure what is the way to go. I am curious about understanding the motivations of this desire to reconnect but..
Why now? Is the person sick? Is the person in need of something or wants us to know something?
Is this person going to interfere with our marriage and family life?
If my spouse will not contact back this person, is my spouse going to start fantasizing about the old good times and wondering about what it could have been?
Anybody in this forum went through something similar?[/quote]

Were you all in a threesome or something? [b]What’s this we crap?[/b][/quote]

Exactly! Why would your DH share this contact with you? You need a job.

[Anonymous]

I heard about a nice guy that let his wife connect with her ex. The nice guy even allowed the wife's ex to stay overnight at their place. The story is the wife was seen coming out of her ex' room at 4 in the morning.

Do it only if you are trying to "lose" the spouse on purpose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wtf? It's been 30 year's! You sound crazy.

I know 2 people whose marriages were broken up by the long lost whatever...lol

+1

Lol. I do, too. Ask any divorce lawyer about this stuff, they see it every day of the week. Someone’s old romance from their youth can have a very powerful effect on someone who is going through normal mid-life stuff. It’s easy to idealize what was.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Nothing kinky or threesome!! Just by chance me and my spouse were in the same room while one of us was checking home voicemails on loud speaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Nothing kinky or threesome!! Just by chance me and my spouse were in the same room while one of us was checking home voicemails on loud speaker.

You kept ur landline phone number from 30+ yrs ago.

[Anonymous]

Troll. Big time.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Nothing kinky or threesome!! Just by chance me and my spouse were in the same room while one of us was checking home voicemails on loud speaker. [/quote]

You kept ur landline phone number from 30+ yrs ago. [/quote]
No, but our home phone is what the ex found through internet search. Ever heard of people search websites and google?

[Anonymous]

I would encourage my spouse to respond. A one-time reconnection doesn't have to lead to an ongoing thing, and if everything is fine in your relationship, it won't. But I'm a sentimental type, so I see no harm or automatic ulterior motive in the person reaching out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would encourage my spouse to respond. A one-time reconnection doesn't have to lead to an ongoing thing, and if everything is fine in your relationship, it won't. But I'm a sentimental type, so I see no harm or automatic ulterior motive in the person reaching out.

You are a damn fool feeding the troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would encourage my spouse to respond. A one-time reconnection doesn't have to lead to an ongoing thing, and if everything is fine in your relationship, it won't. But I'm a sentimental type, so I see no harm or automatic ulterior motive in the person reaching out.

You are a damn fool feeding the troll.

Op here. I am not a troll. Actually after posting here I did some quick research on the subject and found that there are several publications about the reasons why people during mid-life try to reconnect with ex lovers from high school or college. It is surprisingly more common than what I expected.

[Anonymous]

Example of one of the articles I found
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sticky-bonds/201110/my-research-12-facts-about-lost-love-reunions