My mom makes me feel guilty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your mom it's none of her business. Establish boundaries.

Yep. None of this “she makes me” business. Tell her your travel schedule isn’t up for discussion.

[Anonymous]

OP you will not put a stop to this, no matter what you say to your mother because she has cast herself in this role and it will literally take YEARS before she realizes the negative impact, insisting on being your advisor on every minute detail of your life, will have.

My mother is now 73 and dying and she has finally realized that all those years of advice were unwanted, unwelcome, disruptive, intrusive and alienating. In fact I would go so far as to say that our "close" relationship has become one of alienation, despite the fact we are still in touch.

[Anonymous]

I have to ask 19:23 what would you do differently or was there nothing you could have done?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to ask 19:23 what would you do differently or was there nothing you could have done?

I got wrapped up in her drama, took it personally, and ultimately, usually did the things she told me I should do in life. I wish I could have shed her earlier, but I don't know what I could have done differently to achieve that, I only know that living in another continent and having my husband as the person I make decisions with, has shifted her out of our frame of focus. I'm nearly 50 though, so clearly I'm a slow developer and its taken a whole life time.

[Anonymous]

If she's dying, maybe fake it for a little while and act like you appreciate her? How much time does she have left? Might be doable for a month or so.