I still don’t believe them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It kind of sounds like your family is only offering help if the child was unplanned, and this couple desperately needs help. What did you expect them to say?

No, their first child was planned. People offered to watch the first child because it was supposed to be the one and only (they were struggling when they planned that child, but everyone was understanding and wanting to help out). When the first one was a year old they announced baby number two was on the way, after swearing up and down there wouldn’t be a second child. Throughout the second pregnancy they were told to figure out childcare since nobody wanted to double the work/expense of providing child care for them. They basically ignored it and once baby 2 came, they just dropped them both off with no offers for compensation and no gratitude and no plans for changing anything.

They don’t “desperately” need help. They need to adjust their schedules so that one parent can be home to watch the children that they chose to bring into the world. So I expect them to be honest and admit that they had a second child because they are selfish and impulsive and wanted a second child, not that baby number 2 was unplanned.

These people don't sound much like planners to me. I can totally see how a second baby just sort of happened to them. Regardless, that isn't even your business and it would be totally out of line for you to try to force some sort of a confession out of them. Please don't do that.

As far as the the ongoing childcare needs go, if your mom is willing to watch the kids that is her business and it is her call to do so. It does sound as though this couple is taking advantage of your mom, so definitely maintain your own firm boundaries around them. They can't take advantage of you if you don't let them.

[Anonymous]

So your family "plans" how many children your brother will have? Your family tells them how they will take care of one kid, but not two? During the pregnancy you told them family will not watch this kid? And now you are all watching the kid and helping out as much as possible? I don't have a clue how your brother became so immature and irresponsible??!!! I mean does he report to mom and you every time he has relations with his also irresponsible wife? Did you provide protection? I mean, just how long until a grown man and a woman can be their own? What incentive is there to grow up? You all want them to stay dependent and now you had enough?

[Anonymous]

Weird post