Walking on Eggshells?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a book about this: Stop Walking on Eggshells. It's about living with a Borderline Personality Disordered wife. The fact that you can't answer her honestly is proof that she is BPD.

Wow. Armchair therapist, anyone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've asked this to my husband, and I definitely don't have bipolar or any other mental illness.

BPDs are never mentally ill. It's all the people around them who are crazy.

You know who is crazy? Someone who responds to something as mundane as "is being with me like walking on eggshells"...which is a very normal feeling when interacting with someone under high stress...and suggesting its bipolar.

I don't think anyone around me is "crazy".

It's okay to have stress and be someone who is tough to be around without immediately assuming there is some "diagnosis".

I've chatted about this feeling with tons of my girlfriends who are working in heavy responsibility jobs and managing families, and its a very normal feeling to feel as if you are just incredibly tense all the time. Thats what causes it to feel like walking on eggshells around them. It's not uncommon.

And suggesting to a husband that is where his head should go, is certainly not helpful to a wife who could just need some help managing an impossible workload.

I managed an impossible workload for years (at work and at home, since she was rarely employed and also lazy), and lived with a BPD wife. Yet had I ever made her feel like she was "walking on eggshells" the gals here would be screaming "abusive husband! controlling husband! call the police! take the kids and leave him!"

OP: your wife is abusive. Leave her. The younger you are when you re-boot your life, the better off you will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've asked this to my husband, and I definitely don't have bipolar or any other mental illness.

BPDs are never mentally ill. It's all the people around them who are crazy.

My spouse has ADHD so when she asks me a question and it’s the 5th time she’s recently asked the same thing or she totally missed the conversation we just had yesterday in it, I really get frustrated. I don't have BPD, she is just a never ending bundle of forgetfulness and illogic.which leaves me on edge discovering mishaps all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW asked me yesterday whether living with her is like walking in eggshells? Frankly, the answer is yes. But how do I tell her this?

How do you normally tell anyone anything. Start there. Don’t withdraw.

[Anonymous]

Op, I would respond with "why do you ask?"

Then you can get insight on where she's coming from.

[Anonymous]

I brought this up before but she denies it and says she has to walk on eggshells around me because I am too sensitive. I don't bring it up anymore butconstantly live in fear I will set her off.

[Anonymous]

I think BPD stands for borderline personality disorder in this context, not bipolar. Although probably both.

But also insane to leap to that conclusion. Maybe they're just having marital problems and both walking around on eggshells.