Advice please - teenager job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

14:18 - It was OUR idea that she get a job. We didn't think that she was responsible, generally, and we didn't want her sitting around the house all summer watching TV. She wasn't able to procure a job for the summer, probably due to her lackluster efforts. However, one job recently came through for this fall. She is doing well in school. She's smart. She just doesn't apply herself. She seems too interested in taking the "easy" way out of things.

I feel like I sound more like my parents everyday, in lamenting this next generation. As a teenager, I held a job that was over 30 hours/week. I virtually never missed a day, unless I was terribly ill. I also needed the cash to pay for my college. I guess that isn't a big concern for my daughter, and she has never felt a need to save money because her relatives have been so outrageously generous with her.

14:18 here. Thanks, OP. I'd cut all perks, including gift $$$ from whomever. The time you have left before college is so short. You and your husband ARE the parents and you have final say over gifts (unless folks go behind your back). You have the option of having all gift $$$ going to a college acct. Then your daughter would HAVE to earn any spending $ she wants. Hang strong. That's the example your daughter needs most at this time. Let her attempt to press your buttons, but let her see what strong parents look, and act like. And then maybe some day, she'll be one to! Hugs. (Been there.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

14:18 - It was OUR idea that she get a job. We didn't think that she was responsible, generally, and we didn't want her sitting around the house all summer watching TV. She wasn't able to procure a job for the summer, probably due to her lackluster efforts. However, one job recently came through for this fall. She is doing well in school. She's smart. She just doesn't apply herself. She seems too interested in taking the "easy" way out of things.

I feel like I sound more like my parents everyday, in lamenting this next generation. As a teenager, I held a job that was over 30 hours/week. I virtually never missed a day, unless I was terribly ill. I also needed the cash to pay for my college. I guess that isn't a big concern for my daughter, and she has never felt a need to save money because her relatives have been so outrageously generous with her.

14:18 here. Thanks, OP. I'd cut all perks, including gift $$$ from whomever. The time you have left before college is so short. You and your husband ARE the parents and you have final say over gifts (unless folks go behind your back). You have the option of having all gift $$$ going to a college acct. Then your daughter would HAVE to earn any spending $ she wants. Hang strong. That's the example your daughter needs most at this time. Let her attempt to press your buttons, but let her see what strong parents look, and act like. And then maybe some day, she'll be one to! Hugs. (Been there.)

[Anonymous]

I didn't read this whole thread but...

Have you considered making her pay part of her first semester of tuition for college? (Or even all of it if it's a state university?)

1. it'd give her more reason to be saving and working
2. I personally feel that kids who have to contribute to their education tend to take it a bit more seriously. (Self included, though I was fairly responsible and a bit of a perfectionist anyway...but I was even more aware after paying a semester of my own tuition! and far more grateful to my parents for the gift they gave me by paying the rest in combination with grants I got...)

[Anonymous]

OP here. First, thank you to all of the posters! I appreciate your comments.

04:32 - I think that we should consider asking her to pay for part of college, but DH won't hear of it b/c his parents paid for 100% of his college. I paid for most of my college, so I think that certainly helped me to be a very responsible youth. He's still telling me that he doesn't feel comfortable with asking her to pay for her books. I thought that would cause her to become more responsible because books can be expensive. However, she again retorts that we shouldn't have a problem if she comes up with the money by asking relatives for it...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. First, thank you to all of the posters! I appreciate your comments.

04:32 - I think that we should consider asking her to pay for part of college, but DH won't hear of it b/c his parents paid for 100% of his college. I paid for most of my college, so I think that certainly helped me to be a very responsible youth. He's still telling me that he doesn't feel comfortable with asking her to pay for her books. I thought that would cause her to become more responsible because books can be expensive. However, she again retorts that we shouldn't have a problem if she comes up with the money by asking relatives for it...

04:32 here-

I think your husband should reconsider, personally.

If he wants to give her a good start in life than teaching her responsibility is the best thing he can do for her. Handing her everything simply won't achieve that. Paying 1 semester out of 8 wouldn't kill her, but would require her to put some effort into this as well, which will help her feel more invested in the process, I'd bet.

At the least I completely agree she should be paying her own books. Paying for everything is really not a good idea. She'll soon be an adult, he'd be doing her a favor to let her learn in small ways about being financially responsible and taking responsibility for herself. It doesn't sound like she has any interest in that currently, and she's more than old enough to be learning that lesson. Asking other people for their money is certainly not taking any sort of responsibility.

I actually feel sorry for her if she is given it all and has no chance to learn the financial and personal responsibility lessons. They're valuable, and the younger she learns them and starts the good financial habits the better off she will be.

(and for context, I say this as a 24 yr old not far removed from my college days! But ever so grateful to my parents for teaching me to be responsible, especially given the state of the economy currently.)