Women with high earner husbands

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outsource the laundry. I hired a twice weekly housekeeper who does the laundry, and it has been awesome. Gives me more time, takes weight off DH (felt bad about the work imbalance). Cheaper than couples therapy.

OP doesn't want solutions, she wants to complain. I can not imagine that outsourcing the laundry, cleaning, or cooking aren't options discussed in her SES circle. I know they are common themes in the 100k to 200k HHI income bracket very frequently.

A family member's wife, who is a SAHW (no kids) complained that her husband had not packed his share of the house for the upcoming move. I listened and just shook my head.

OP here ... sorry I am venting. I guess it comes off as complaining. And "my circle" of friends are not in the same SES as my family and we don't discuss outsourcing everything. We do have someone clean every other week and this is the first time we are having yard service come in but other than that everything comes down to me for our household. I do most of it willingly but sometimes I need to vent and I feel bad dumping it on my DH when he is working insane hours to provide for our family.

[Anonymous]

My husband is a very high earner you have to outsource - that’s what he wants me to do. Get good sitters, cleaning help, handyman, order groceries, have dry cleaning picked up, use a chef service, get someone to come to laundry, landscaping, pool etc. that’s what works for us and makes us both happy to be able to spend time together and with the kids without these resentments

[Anonymous]

I too work from home and make a lot less than my DH and he too works long hours. We have a house cleaner once a week and I have a sitter a few mornings a week to take care of our two youngest while I work. I handle most of the shopping and cooking but DH is good about helping with the laundry and putting the kids to bed. Instead of complaining to my DH, I make suggestions or recommendations about things and he either does them or has me pay someone to do it. We are both pretty calm and rational people who are pretty good at solving problems so complaining is not something either of us does very often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I too work from home and make a lot less than my DH and he too works long hours. We have a house cleaner once a week and I have a sitter a few mornings a week to take care of our two youngest while I work. I handle most of the shopping and cooking but DH is good about helping with the laundry and putting the kids to bed. Instead of complaining to my DH, I make suggestions or recommendations about things and he either does them or has me pay someone to do it. We are both pretty calm and rational people who are pretty good at solving problems so complaining is not something either of us does very often.

Thank you for your post. I am not the OP, but i appreciate your thoughtful post about bringing solutions.

[Anonymous]

You'll all accuse me of trolling now but I truly wonder why you even work. 400k+ is more than enough money for anyone in the DMV, I suppose it's a job that contributes to society like teacher, nurse etc? I am NOT trolling, just genuinely curious, what is it you do for 60k?

[Anonymous]

^^ I missed that you WAH. Still curious though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I too work from home and make a lot less than my DH and he too works long hours. We have a house cleaner once a week and I have a sitter a few mornings a week to take care of our two youngest while I work. I handle most of the shopping and cooking but DH is good about helping with the laundry and putting the kids to bed. Instead of complaining to my DH, I make suggestions or recommendations about things and he either does them or has me pay someone to do it. We are both pretty calm and rational people who are pretty good at solving problems so complaining is not something either of us does very often.

Thank you for your post. I am not the OP, but i appreciate your thoughtful post about bringing solutions.

+1 - every time I think about complaining I realize what a great life I have - healthy children, a nice home, a flexible career and a wonderful husband who is an amazing provider (among other things!). Yes, he could help around the house a little more but I'd be an idiot to not be grateful for the life we have. If I have a complaint I tend to hold it in so I like PP's approach using suggestions and recommendations. My DH actually does that but I haven't been smart enough to follow suit but now I will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ I missed that you WAH. Still curious though

This is the first year DH is making this much money. Plus we have a ton of student loans to pay off. Also I would be a horrible stay at home mom and my kids thrive at daycare with their friends. It’s all in all a win win situation for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You'll all accuse me of trolling now but I truly wonder why you even work. 400k+ is more than enough money for anyone in the DMV, I suppose it's a job that contributes to society like teacher, nurse etc? I am NOT trolling, just genuinely curious, what is it you do for 60k?

Not OP, but I would never stop working. A man is not a plan.