Giving Her An Ultimation..

[Anonymous]

Do you really see her family 20x per year or was that a typo? That's way too much. If she's going no contact or lowering contact, support her in that. If she can't or doesn't do that, I think you really need to think about how this is going to affect you and your relationship. I say that as a person whose family is like hers.

[Anonymous]

This is something that needs to be discussed in JOINT counseling. While I don't think it is unreasonable for you to establish boundaries when it comes to her family, it is unreasonable and controlling for you to demand she cut off her family. You dont' want to visit them? No problem. Don't go. You don't want any children you may have with her to witness her being demeaned? Not a problem, the first time they do, you take the child and leave. No drama, just an exit.

I did something with my extended ILs. My MIL/FIL were great. The rest of the family was awful. After a number of counseling sessions with DH, I stopped going to their family events. No one missed me (no one will miss you either). After we had kids, the family extended an olive branch which I accepted. By that time, DH more fully understood why I objected to their behavior and, for the first time, see it clearly. He's now the one that limits time with them. Our kids are now teenagers and want nothing to do with them. Glad I waited it out but I couldn't have done it without the relationship counseling.

[Anonymous]

Are they better at spelling than you are though?