Growing increasingly impatient with adhd kid

[Anonymous]

You used ADHD in your title but say there’s no diagnosis. Be responsible, figure out what it is and do something to help your child cope. Time goes by fast.

[Anonymous]

This is WHY you get a diagnosis’s. Negative constant interactions with the people who love him. Figure it out. Help him.

[Anonymous]

ADHD adult woman here: My parents did the wait and see until I hit sophomore year of high school, because I was smart enough to just work 3x as hard as my classmates for average grades. I looked ok on paper but I had no friends, no self-esteem, hated myself for struggling with things my classmates found easy, and attempted suicide. A lot of kids who don’t get treated for ADHD start self-medicating with drugs and alcohol in HS/college.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a “I wish we had waited longer to try meds for our kid bc no med worked for him” post here. The general consensus tends to be that parents regret waiting so long. If your child was having seizures, and changing diet/habits reduced them a little bit medicine stopped them completely, why would you let your child suffer and deny them medicine? Are you going to try organic supplements instead of chemo if your kid has cancer?

[Anonymous]

If you’re going increasingly impatient for your (assumed) adhd child, imagine how much he/she is growing impatient struggling to function. Poor you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to pursue drugs, so I want to wait til he’s older for diagnosis. I had hoped that folks might have some good resources.

If he had diabetes would want to delay diagnosis and delay medications?

[Anonymous]

Every expert at the research university I consulted said that medication is not the way to go. It tends to wear off in efficacy and has a number of risks. They said to wait as long as possible or don’t medicate if possible. I have chosen not to medicate my child, OP, and it is working well for us. I have pursued outside therapies (reading specialist good with ADHD kids, parenting techniques). It is a lot of work but my kid is doing much better. I agree with keeping them active!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every expert at the research university I consulted said that medication is not the way to go. It tends to wear off in efficacy and has a number of risks. They said to wait as long as possible or don’t medicate if possible. I have chosen not to medicate my child, OP, and it is working well for us. I have pursued outside therapies (reading specialist good with ADHD kids, parenting techniques). It is a lot of work but my kid is doing much better. I agree with keeping them active!!

Please link to this research.

[Anonymous]

I believe that research show the best outcomes with a combination of the approaches (activity/diet/ parent training/ medication). The details vary by child. For my son he needed medication in order to focus enough to learn self- management skills.

Personally I think parent training is the most critical because it prepares you to make decisions about the other factors. And as the mom you really, really need to have your kid’s back on these challenges. They will experience enough failure at school and in the world, home needs to be a place where you believe in them and are helping them to the best of your ability.

For me a lot of the parent training was about setting realistic expectations and scaffolding skills. And then i needed to learn to sort out when frustration was about me versus my child who was really doing their best.

Dr Shapiro’s class is good. You could also join an online class/ coaching group or find a local therapist who can help you. I like the articles on CHADD and Understood and the coaching program at IMPACT ADHD.

[Anonymous]

I did not medicate until middle school for my youngest and HS for my oldest.

Learn meditation. Read a book called mindset.

I had to be out of the house by 10 am every morning with plans. After lunch we had to get outside for a hour or two minimum. For winter we joined an indoor pool. Lots of sports. Jus jitsu was amazing.

My kids don't eat sugar except for ice cream.

High fat, high protein diet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every expert at the research university I consulted said that medication is not the way to go. It tends to wear off in efficacy and has a number of risks. They said to wait as long as possible or don’t medicate if possible. I have chosen not to medicate my child, OP, and it is working well for us. I have pursued outside therapies (reading specialist good with ADHD kids, parenting techniques). It is a lot of work but my kid is doing much better. I agree with keeping them active!!

Please link to this research.

https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/877438

There is one showing reduced height and no long term reduction of symptoms. There is also research indicating negative impacts on the part of the brain controlling motivation, the heart, and cardiovascular systems. There is also indications it can lead to drug use later in life. These meds have real risks for long term use. It is a last resort.

[Anonymous]

You don’t want drugs but you are willing to hate him? Great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every expert at the research university I consulted said that medication is not the way to go. It tends to wear off in efficacy and has a number of risks. They said to wait as long as possible or don’t medicate if possible. I have chosen not to medicate my child, OP, and it is working well for us. I have pursued outside therapies (reading specialist good with ADHD kids, parenting techniques). It is a lot of work but my kid is doing much better. I agree with keeping them active!!

Please link to this research.

https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/877438

There is one showing reduced height and no long term reduction of symptoms. There is also research indicating negative impacts on the part of the brain controlling motivation, the heart, and cardiovascular systems. There is also indications it can lead to drug use later in life. These meds have real risks for long term use. It is a last resort.

Except on this board or throughout the country.

[Anonymous]

A couple of things I agree with. I, too, have never heard anyone say that they were sorry they did not wait longer to medicate their child. If this is hard for you, imagine how hard it is for him. If you wait until things get to a real crisis, it can be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to recover from. Once you decide to treat, it is not an easy fix - finding a doctor that takes your insurance can take tens, if not hundreds, of phone calls, waiting for appointments can be months, finding the right medication is trial and error. And, if you don't treat, your child may self medicate, though I don't think you at risk of that at age six.

That aside, what you really have to do is to identify what it is that is driving you crazy and then change your environment to make your child successful. Pick the low hanging fruit so you see success - it will motivate and energize you. Here are some things that I remember doing. My son would leave everything lying around. So, we identified places where things could be left. For example, backpacks went by the back door, shoes on the stairs, coats over the railing in the entryway. Did I love this - no, I am a neat freak. But, it was something that worked and I could live with it.

I also started with bedtime routine and worked backwards to develop routines that were successful. At bedtime, kids could have a snack, then we all got together to read on my bed. Since my son didn't read until he was older, it was me reading to everyone at first. For mornings, I gave my son a list on a clipboard each day. At school, he had a similar set up - he got a list taped to his desk of everything that had to be done between the time he got to class and the time class started.

I had to work on me as well. It's pretty normal for kids to play hard and loud. And, mine was a climber, which made me nervous. I had to let it go when they were outside and set aside space inside for them to play (i have other kids). In the space I set aside, we didn't always clean it up everynight because they would make elaborate set ups with their toy cars and didn't want to have to start over each day.

Anyway, good luck.

[Anonymous]

Thank you to those who provided helpful resources. He likely also has anxiety, so meds are not a good choice. He is above grade level in reading and math, so not struggling. I will look into testing for over summer break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you to those who provided helpful resources. He likely also has anxiety, so meds are not a good choice. He is above grade level in reading and math, so not struggling. I will look into testing for over summer break.

There are numerous effective medication for anxiety.