Your 9th grader teams up with a friend with a school project

[Anonymous]

Teacher here - I don't know why all teachers don't grade group projects individually. This is 100% doable for nearly any project.

I'm sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, let us know what the teacher says!

This comes up so often in group projects. It may actually be a blessing in disguise that it happened to your DD in 9th grade. She will learn to pick her partners very carefully!

I admire her for standing her ground and insisting that her partner do some of the work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell her that she is stuck doing the work herself at this point, and when it is over she can reevaluate the friendship.

Group projects are always a minefield. She is stuck right now.

Your statement about it being academically dishonest: kinda secondary. She should just put her friend's name and handle this later with the friend. She should not shoot her own foot. And she should only go down the path of involving the teacher if she wants to own the resulting drama.

yes to this. Get through in the short term, take the learning lessons about group projects, who to partner with, how to withstand being badgered, how to deal with a freerider, who is a good friend and who is not---take those lessons and apply them for *next* time. Because she'll need them for next time because she is a magnet for freeriders right now because she's conflict avoidant so acquiesces to badgering by so-called-"friends" who are using her.

There are a few battles within this situation and you must pick your battles, OP. Agree with PP that academic dishonesty is secondary. The whole situation set up by the school is set up for freeriding and then they set up a situation whereby she must vow that she must not allow freeriding or tell and create drama? Not a fair situation given that 9th grade grades are important in the long term, and you are telling your hard-working DD to cut off her nose to spite her face. Head down, get through the storm. Learn from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, let us know what the teacher says!

This comes up so often in group projects. It may actually be a blessing in disguise that it happened to your DD in 9th grade. She will learn to pick her partners very carefully!

I admire her for standing her ground and insisting that her partner do some of the work.

DD texted that conversation with teacher went well and now she's trying to figure out how to tell friend they're no longer partners. Meanwhile, friend evidently thinks she's going to complete the tasks she agreed to do more than a week ago during English class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid just had a rough group project that probably will make his friendship with his BFF pretty rocky for a while. BFF is a type A, academic kid with parents who like to help with projects. DS is a smart kid who hates school and procrastinates, but gets stuff done well in the end. Not a good match. BFF ended up doing 90% of the project at home with his parents, doing each step before deadline and then presenting it to my kid as all done. It was pretty demoralizing to my kid, and must have made BFF feel like DS was a super slacker. Good times.

Wow, I didn't know that, besides doing all the work, I was supposed to accommodate a special slacker timeline in the project so the slacker can feel accomplished.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid just had a rough group project that probably will make his friendship with his BFF pretty rocky for a while. BFF is a type A, academic kid with parents who like to help with projects. DS is a smart kid who hates school and procrastinates, but gets stuff done well in the end. Not a good match. BFF ended up doing 90% of the project at home with his parents, doing each step before deadline and then presenting it to my kid as all done. It was pretty demoralizing to my kid, and must have made BFF feel like DS was a super slacker. Good times.

It's amazing how you position your kid as a victim in this...

I had the same thought!

[Anonymous]

OP here. DD partner didn't complete the work in English. DD said she was going to do her own project. Friend seemed to get it. I don't know if there will be fall out.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised people think it's okay to post so many details about their kids and their kids' friends. What if the friend's parents read this board?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised people think it's okay to post so many details about their kids and their kids' friends. What if the friend's parents read this board?

Yeah, me, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised people think it's okay to post so many details about their kids and their kids' friends. What if the friend's parents read this board?

Teacher here - this sounds like 1000 kids in the system. There are all types, and they all do this. It may seem specific, but it's not.

Part of the group project process is to give students opportunity to subdivide tasks and manage working with other types of kids. FWIW - I almost always assign groups to avoid the "friends" problems, and I do my best to create balanced groups that I think will work well together. Projects usually have a group portion and an individual portion so not everyone ends up with the same grade. I also provide opportunities for students to report what they worked on and/or to rate the group effort to figure out if there are problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid just had a rough group project that probably will make his friendship with his BFF pretty rocky for a while. BFF is a type A, academic kid with parents who like to help with projects. DS is a smart kid who hates school and procrastinates, but gets stuff done well in the end. Not a good match. BFF ended up doing 90% of the project at home with his parents, doing each step before deadline and then presenting it to my kid as all done. It was pretty demoralizing to my kid, and must have made BFF feel like DS was a super slacker. Good times.

It's amazing how you position your kid as a victim in this...

I had the same thought!

Really? Didn't mean to sound that way. BFF is an awesome, academic kid. I love him. He and my kid are a terrible fit for group projects because my kid works to deadline and BFF likes do work well ahead. They'd both be better served with partners who work in similar ways. It was indeed sad for my kid to find that his input wasn't needed on anything because BFF did it all before it was supposed to be done. That also isn't good group work behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here - I don't know why all teachers don't grade group projects individually. This is 100% doable for nearly any project.

I'm sorry, OP.

THIS, exactly. My daughter currently has a C in her Civics class due to a group project in which she was the only one who did her assigned tasks. The two other kids did zero. All three kids got a C. It's the most backward, destructive way to "teach" kids anything. Other than communism, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid just had a rough group project that probably will make his friendship with his BFF pretty rocky for a while. BFF is a type A, academic kid with parents who like to help with projects. DS is a smart kid who hates school and procrastinates, but gets stuff done well in the end. Not a good match. BFF ended up doing 90% of the project at home with his parents, doing each step before deadline and then presenting it to my kid as all done. It was pretty demoralizing to my kid, and must have made BFF feel like DS was a super slacker. Good times.

It's amazing how you position your kid as a victim in this...

I had the same thought!

Really? Didn't mean to sound that way. BFF is an awesome, academic kid. I love him. He and my kid are a terrible fit for group projects because my kid works to deadline and BFF likes do work well ahead. They'd both be better served with partners who work in similar ways. It was indeed sad for my kid to find that his input wasn't needed on anything because BFF did it all before it was supposed to be done. That also isn't good group work behavior.

I didn't see it that way, either, OP. On time isn't late. I hope the two learn not to work together, and what is with the parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here - I don't know why all teachers don't grade group projects individually. This is 100% doable for nearly any project.

I'm sorry, OP.

THIS, exactly. My daughter currently has a C in her Civics class due to a group project in which she was the only one who did her assigned tasks. The two other kids did zero. All three kids got a C. It's the most backward, destructive way to "teach" kids anything. Other than communism, of course.

And demoralizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid just had a rough group project that probably will make his friendship with his BFF pretty rocky for a while. BFF is a type A, academic kid with parents who like to help with projects. DS is a smart kid who hates school and procrastinates, but gets stuff done well in the end. Not a good match. BFF ended up doing 90% of the project at home with his parents, doing each step before deadline and then presenting it to my kid as all done. It was pretty demoralizing to my kid, and must have made BFF feel like DS was a super slacker. Good times.

It's amazing how you position your kid as a victim in this...

I had the same thought!

Really? Didn't mean to sound that way. BFF is an awesome, academic kid. I love him. He and my kid are a terrible fit for group projects because my kid works to deadline and BFF likes do work well ahead. They'd both be better served with partners who work in similar ways. It was indeed sad for my kid to find that his input wasn't needed on anything because BFF did it all before it was supposed to be done. That also isn't good group work behavior.

The work is done. There is nothing to be upset about. I set deadlines way ahead for "kids" like yours at work, so it can be done on time, not at the last moment with no room for an error.