My husband's mother is awful to him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just gently remind your DH that she is who she is and no amount of 11th hour help is going to make her be the mom he wanted her to be. He should accept that she loved him but not in the way he wanted or they way she should have as a mother. It might also be interesting to find out why she left when he was little. Is it possible she knew that she would do even more damage by staying and being resentful?

Thanks - she was young when she had him (21) and left to go “live her life”. There’s a chance part of her thinking was that she’d do more damage by staying but....wow, I’d be surprised if his well being had anything to do with why she left.

One thing that occurred to me overnight was that if he needs stability from her (which he’s not going to get) is that I could try harder to be stable and loving and nurturing to him as a partner...but then again I’m not sure it’s healthy for a spouse to provide something a person needed from a parent?

Thanks to everyone who replied so far.