Envious of my husband’s college gf

[Anonymous]

Isn't it less about her personally and more of a jealousy of the life she has lived?

"She’s worked in a fantastic career at some major companies, married a foreign service office, started a grad program and now has moved across the globe as an expat with her husband. "

I would suspect that your life with her ex BF has been less you might have hoped. Perhaps you should have partnered with your husbands ex GF.

[Anonymous]

For what it's worth, men don't usually evaluate women the same way that women evaluate men. He's probably not as worried about comparing your career to hers and doesn't care that you are "less accomplished."

[Anonymous]

I'm here to tell you that foreign service officers are overworked, underpaid, and enjoying a life of disruption without any luxuries that may have been associated with diplomatic posts in the past (at best, you can hope for a big apartment that was acquired decades ago and happens to be free for you). The life of a trailing spouse is less than ideal, to say the least.

You are assuming all these things she has are great but those of us living on airplanes as a result of having "impressive" careers look at people with stable, grounded lives and think they are the real winners. This is especially the case for those of us who have (and like their) families.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.

[Anonymous]

She seems like such an overachiever

[Anonymous]

It does not seem like a great life to me. If she had a career and was hall working, I doubt she is happy being the wife of a foreign officer in a country where she probably can’t even work. I know if so many friends that made similar choices and ended up divorced or unhappy.

[Anonymous]

toni345 wrote:well.. just be your self. Just because she looks better but doesn't mean your husband won't pay attention for you. Just keep loving your self and give a romantic treatment to your husband such as feed him with delicious meal and give him a flower.

NP. Thank you for this amazing bit of genius!

[Anonymous]

toni345 wrote:well.. just be your self. Just because she looks better but doesn't mean your husband won't pay attention for you. Just keep loving your self and give a romantic treatment to your husband such as feed him with delicious meal and give him a flower.

New poster here. You’re so sweet and loving. I wish I knew you. You sound like an awesome human being and your husband and friends are so lucky to know you.

[Anonymous]

toni345 wrote:well.. just be your self. Just because she looks better but doesn't mean your husband won't pay attention for you. Just keep loving your self and give a romantic treatment to your husband such as feed him with delicious meal and give him a flower.

Oh, ok. I just looked up your profile and you own a flower shop. Very nice!!!

[Anonymous]

toni345 wrote:well.. just be your self. Just because she looks better but doesn't mean your husband won't pay attention for you. Just keep loving your self and give a romantic treatment to your husband such as feed him with delicious meal and give him a flower.

Just curious. Are you posting from Jakarta or Surabaya where your flower shop is located?

[Anonymous]

Learn Chinese or Arabic and brush up on your bioengineering. Also learn to dance whatever it is she dances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are probably better in bed than her. If not make that your goal. Husband will be thankful

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I had a rough start when we met because he was still in love with his college gf of 5 years. Of course I was curious about this alluring other woman and looked her up on social media. I was pretty floored. She was girl next door pretty and seemed to have a fun outgoing personality. In addition to that she dressed really well and was super smart. Double major in Chinese and bioengineering in addition to being very active in her sorority she wa also an accomplished dancer.

Like wow.

I looked her up now out of curiousity and she continues to kick butt. She’s worked in a fantastic career at some major companies, married a foreign service office, started a grad program and now has moved across the globe as an expat with her husband.

I just feel so...unaccomplished? Lol how do people rock so much?

Why are you doing this to yourself? Comparison is the thief of joy.

[Anonymous]

She really does sound amazing and I'm sure he would have been much happier with her. I'll bet he kicks himself nearly every day for ever letting her go. Why on Earth did he ever marry you if he could have had her?

He chose you but that isn't good enough for you? You are obsessed with this woman and it's making you sick. Not even this woman, but the image of this woman that she presents herself to be on social media. You really know very little about her.

[Anonymous]

You do not know what her life is like - you're just imagining it. Maybe it really is that great. Or perhaps her husband is unkind. Perhaps she wishes she were living closer to her family and feels lonely and hates being an expat. Don't do that to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For what it's worth, men don't usually evaluate women the same way that women evaluate men. He's probably not as worried about comparing your career to hers and doesn't care that you are "less accomplished."

Exactly!!! Your standards that make her an awesome woman are not the things that matter to your husband.