when/how do you make time for sex?

[Anonymous]

Easy... you make time for it the way you make time for other things that are a priority. I can't stand when I hear women say they can't find time for sex but they have seen every episode of Game of Thrones and binge watch other stuff.

[Anonymous]

Time is definitely not the the problem. You can get it done in 15-30 minutes.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Appreciate the candid and helpful responses. If it were only 15 minutes I think I could handle it. Perhaps I'm not as willing as I'd like to be. Maybe a therapist is in order?...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Real talk here.

I'm willing, I really am, but at the end of the day I am tiiiired. I have a 3 yo and a 6 yo who go to sleep around 8. After basic household chores and a bit of work (I'm self-employed and work from home), I'm ready to sleep.

Tips? Advice?

OP, I have no advice for you. You already have your excuses lined up. Many people have young kids, a job, and other responsibilities. If you enjoy sex, are willing and have a willing partner, then you just do it. Stop trying to convince yourself that you are really willing. There is no magical solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Appreciate the candid and helpful responses. If it were only 15 minutes I think I could handle it. Perhaps I'm not as willing as I'd like to be. Maybe a therapist is in order?...

Why is it much longer than 15 minutes?

[Anonymous]

Have sex as soon as the kids are in bed, set your alarm to wake up early, or both come home midday.

[Anonymous]

You make it a priority.

Or you don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know couples that complain the next day about how tired they are because they had sex the night before.

They're just bragging. I get "too tired to have sex," but "too tired because you had sex?" That's just showing off.

No. Showing off is when you can do something that others cannot do. The point is that they'd rather have sex and be tired then next day than go to bed early. You can always catch up on sleep...once a relationship becomes sexless, it's hard to recover.

I just meant that somebody isn't tired the next day just because they stayed up an extra 15 or 20 minutes to have sex. They're bragging.

[Anonymous]

I'm about to initiate right now, for the third night in a row. Believe me, this is rare -- we have two kids, ages 1 and 3, and have been averaging once every 7-10 days. The 1 year old is still in a crib in our room, and has had health issues and hasn't been sleeping well until recently. Actually getting sleep is helping a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Appreciate the candid and helpful responses. If it were only 15 minutes I think I could handle it. Perhaps I'm not as willing as I'd like to be. Maybe a therapist is in order?...

A therapist is going to take a lot more time than sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Getting the kid ready for bed now, and then obligatory sex. I feel you, OP. I just want to fold the laundry and go to bed.

Got it, the laundry is more important than your marriage. On a serious note, a lot of things people worry about just don't matter in the big picture. Landry can wait it is going anywhere (unfortunately) I think women try to control too much little crap that doenst really matter and put way too much pressure on themselves. If you look at some of these things from a macro viewpoint you are probably not being fair to yourself, let some things go, its ok if things aren't perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm about to initiate right now, for the third night in a row. Believe me, this is rare -- we have two kids, ages 1 and 3, and have been averaging once every 7-10 days. The 1 year old is still in a crib in our room, and has had health issues and hasn't been sleeping well until recently. Actually getting sleep is helping a lot.

PP here and I also wanted to add that on the weekends (when she doesn't nap), our 3 year old is in bed by 7:30, asleep by 8/815. On weekdays, she naps at preschool/daycare, but is outgrowing the naps, so isn't in bed until 830-845, asleep by 930. It's much easier to fit in sex on the weekends when both kids are in bed by 7:30.

[Anonymous]

It’s simple. You either make time or you make excuses.

[Anonymous]

Why fold the laundry?