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Preschool and Daycare Discussion
How do you feel if a male is the assistant to a care provider
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Anonymous
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To the 14:47 post, how do you know this husband is not qualified? Perhaps they were a working team at one time or another. I know that in my childcare all adults over the age of 18 has to have a background check done on them. And if I had my husband here to help me with the care of the children you would bet that I would have him attend a CPR/First aid class as well as training.
What makes it different for daycare home/centers to have a male *teacher/caregiver* and your school teachers? It is a shame that there arent more male teachers. in my childs years of school, she has had 2 male teachers in 6 years, and that was last year, both at same time. This year all 3 female. So what makes it any different? They are all there for the same thing, the care of a child. To the OP, if you are that adamant about that issue, then I too think it would be ridiculous to send your child there, money or no money. IF you feel that way about him, things can happen in just the first few weeks as they can in the months/years your child could be there. JMHO |
Anonymous
| I would never be comfortable with a home provider that was pulling in family members to serve as assistants. We looked at one place that did this and decided no way. If the in home provider has enough kids that she needs two assistants she needs a professional back up plan in place not just a plan to pull in any family member. Group care is much different than having a neighbor or relative watch your kids for a few hours. I agree that you should tell her that you plan to report her to the licensing board if you do not receive a refund. There is a high probability that the family member may not meet the necessary guidelines (though this depends by state whether they require CPR, background check, legal payment etc) and at a minimum if she is cutting corners here she is probably cutting corners in other places as well. |
Anonymous
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Which of you have actually hired a male to care for your infant or toddler?
"Do as I say, not as I do?" |
Anonymous
| There are males at my child's center and I've used a male babysitter to watch my kids at home. I can't imagine anyone who has a husband and expects him to help could then take the position that a male shouldn't be a child care provider just b/c he's male. |
Anonymous
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Our state licensed provider is man. I've also hired male babysitters and male "mothers helpers".
What, exactly, is it about male care providers that you find so objectionable.? |
Anonymous
This is bullshit. What licensing requirement is being violated? Every care provider in a licensed facility (commercial or in-home) is required to have a background check, CPR and continuing education credits. Anyone living in the house is required to have a background check. I'd bet that the husband meets all the other requirements because of situations just like this and even if he didn't so what? Substitute teachers at schools aren't required to be licensed teachers - I don't see anyone bitching about that. While I think care providers are extremely important, it's not like they have to be PhDs. I, too, want to know why you don't think men should be care providers. |
Anonymous
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The odds of a male provider being a sexual predator are much higher than for female providers.
I would not be comfortable with this situation, especially if there is no history with the provider. I don't doubt that a man can care for children...I do question that the husband is a last minute substitution to meet criteria and will probably be doing handyman stuff throughout the house while his wife manages the group. At a minimum, make sure he has a background check. Also, I'd be curious to know what he used to do before he was employed. It would be a different situation if he has been in the business for many years, which he may have been...you just need to find out. |
Anonymous
| I doubt the husband has early childhood credits, first aid cpr and other courses needed to be certified. He may have had a background check done and thats it. Im curious does the husband have a job? Or is his job 'working' at the daycare? |
Anonymous
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" This is bullshit. What licensing requirement is being violated? Every care provider in a licensed facility (commercial or in-home) is required to have a background check, CPR and continuing education credits. Anyone living in the house is required to have a background check. I'd bet that the husband meets all the other requirements because of situations just like this and even if he didn't so what? Substitute teachers at schools aren't required to be licensed teachers - I don't see anyone bitching about that. While I think care providers are extremely important, it's not like they have to be PhDs."
Let me guess you run a not so great in home daycare center and use family members to meet the staffing requirements. When we looked at in home options we asked several providers about their staff and back up plans. The ones that said they pulled in a relative (and one I kid you not said her 18 year old son would fill in for her) we immediatelt crossed off the list. You have to be careful with in home care. Some can be wonderful and very well run but others are not. Frankly one of the reasons to consider not doing in home care is not knowing who else beyond the staff you have met had access to the house and the children. An owner who is already crossing a professional line in just pulling in a warm body would worry me that she is a risk in other areas as well. I would not believe for one minute that a family member had the continuing ed credits, CPR and even a background check. What is even more an issue is that this family member was brought in because they lost other staff. If this was his chosen profession and he was a true childcare provider do you really think he was waiting for someone to quit so he could get a shot at the job? Doubtful. |
Anonymous
Where are you getting this? This is totally sexist crap. My child goes to an in-home daycare where the husband is the assistant. He is amazing with the kids, trained in early childhood education, CPR certified, all of that. Now, if you get a bad feeling when you meet a provider -- male OR female -- you should walk away. But please don't give male providers a bad name. |
Anonymous
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I took early childhood education classes and have had a surprising number of males in my classes. Just because someone is a male does not mean they don't have credits.
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Anonymous
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Do you let your husband stay with your children???????? Oh my! Give us all a break OP and others, you've got to be kidding.
When I had to be taken to the hospital in the early morning hours of a day care day, my husband took the kids in until the parents could get to work and if need be find someone else and pick them back up again. He was CPR trained, background checked, etc, etc "just in case". And lo and behold we really needed it that day. Same thing for my Mom, trained and checked "just in case". Now my husband is a Tax Lawyer who has a fruitful career of his own. He is no pervert and I am not cutting any corners by making sure that somone I TRUST WITH MY KIDS is available to back me up so my families can get to work/have time to make other arrangments if I am sick enough to be out for longer than an hour or two. In that situation, that day, we thought I had a stomach issue. Turns out, it was a misdiagnosed, ruptured ectopic. My mother ended up running my day care for 2 weeks so that my families were not displaced during that time. Providers don't always have the luxury of affording assistants, and some would rather have family do it if need be because they can trust them more than anyone else. Also, this provider may have learned as many have, that assistants are not always incredibly reliable and may not do things the way that they or their spouse would. |
Anonymous
I didn't say all males are sexual predators. But most sexual predators are male. And, there is a website that actually shows youall the predators in your area, by street. I was very surprised to know that there were 6 within a couple miles of my house and a couple worked at local businesses in the area (Bethesda). A good friend of mine lives in Bethesda, too and she found out her neighbor is a predator - 2 years after moving in. She thought he was a nice guy...the type of guy that she would have over for dinner and allow to interact with her family (if she had kids). |
Anonymous
You must be smoking something because you really have an impaired sense of how childcare facilities are run - commercial and in-home. I'm just glad your kids aren't with ours. If I were running a daycare, you're the kind of parent I would reject. No slots for you. |
Anonymous
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Our home daycare provider's husband sometimes plays with the children. In fact, since the daycare has been mostly boys, they love having that male interaction. It doesn't bother me, he has his own child and knows how to take care of the kids, although he really doesn't take care of them on his own, just interacts with them when he's there.
That said, if the OP feels uncomfortable about this change for WHATEVER reason, even if it's something that she can't put her finger on, my advice would be to find a new center. I'm sure that the situation is probably fine, but there have been incidents where the husband/boyfriend of a caregiver has caused harm to a child in his care. |