Sometimes I Hate Being Married

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I've been married for 3 years to an overall great guy. But to be really honest; I kind of hate being married a lot of the time. I was single for awhile and really loved having my own space and time to do things. And I am an introvert, and often really just want to be left alone to eat, workout and relax.

I'm not doing a great job of communicating to my husband that I really need my alone time. I think he feels very hurt that I don't always want to be around him and chatting. Sometimes I just want to be left alone.

What are some tips for how to best communicate that I need downtime?


Marriage sounds awesome, where do I sign up?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Give him a bj and then tell him to go away for a few hours. He won't mind.


Women stop giving BJs once the contract is signed.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I've been married for 3 years to an overall great guy. But to be really honest; I kind of hate being married a lot of the time. I was single for awhile and really loved having my own space and time to do things. And I am an introvert, and often really just want to be left alone to eat, workout and relax.

I'm not doing a great job of communicating to my husband that I really need my alone time. I think he feels very hurt that I don't always want to be around him and chatting. Sometimes I just want to be left alone.

What are some tips for how to best communicate that I need downtime?


I am the same way, although I am not an introvert. I need space and time, mostly to think and just clear my head. I just flat out told my wife, she was fine with it, since she knows what it is about. Without an explanation it can seem to a spouse like you are avoiding them.
Anonymous


DH is an introvert. From day 1 he's always made it known when he needs space. I was probably more like your DH. At first , my feelings were hurt. But I was smart enough to know that it was my own insecurities making me feel hurt. DH still needs alone time. He's completely respectful about it (i.e doesn't come home and ignore the family for hours on end, nor does he expect alone time every day) and he's 100% present when he's with us. He also ensures I get time to myself, even if I don't have that same "need".

Communication is important in marriage. It doesn't sound.like you have very good communication if you're unable to say "DH, I just need a little bit of quiet time because ive had a long day. I'm going to go read/watch TV in the bedroom/take a walk". You can also have a discussion with him about being an introvert and needing time alone to clear your head. I don't know, it just seems off that 1. You are having trouble communicating a fairly simple need to your husband and 2. That he's never cared to notice that you're an introvert
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've been married for 3 years to an overall great guy. But to be really honest; I kind of hate being married a lot of the time. I was single for awhile and really loved having my own space and time to do things. And I am an introvert, and often really just want to be left alone to eat, workout and relax.

I'm not doing a great job of communicating to my husband that I really need my alone time. I think he feels very hurt that I don't always want to be around him and chatting. Sometimes I just want to be left alone.

What are some tips for how to best communicate that I need downtime?


Marriage sounds awesome, where do I sign up?


Marriage actually is awesome. But you need to have some self esteem and communication abilities. It sounds like op had neither and that's usually a recipe for disaster
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Give him a bj and then tell him to go away for a few hours. He won't mind.

+1000! LOL
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Give him a bj and then tell him to go away for a few hours. He won't mind.


Women stop giving BJs once the contract is signed.


No those stop when they dont respect you anymore or feel like no other women can/or will not be interested in you for you.
Anonymous
Some low quality women here
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:So you basically duped your husband. Does he know you hate being married to him "most of the time"? You should divorce him and go be a lonely hag. You don't deserve this good man!

+1
Anonymous
If you already feel this way do NOT have children. It will make things so much worse.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Give him a bj and then tell him to go away for a few hours. He won't mind.


Women stop giving BJs once the contract is signed.


No those stop when they dont respect you anymore or feel like no other women can/or will not be interested in you for you.


Or maybe they never did it in the first place because it's gross.
Anonymous
I can agree with the sentiment expressed in your title. Anytime an attractive woman approaches with interest, I hate that I'm married.
Anonymous
I too am an introvert and I understand the need for down time. However, I try to always be thankful that I am married to a great guy – hard to come by these days, right? It seems to me that a heart to heart is in order. I am hoping that as you gently communicate your need for alone time, he will understand and the two of you can work something out. It does sound like getting your home set up should be a priority so you both have space. Sometimes just putting your needs into words and asking for help works beautifully. Guys like to fix things. If you word your request carefully and ask with love, I think he may find a way to help you. Don’t give up!
Anonymous
I often hate that I'm married.
But, really, there are benefits. Not sexual. That's still happening, but mostly not fresh and exciting after 22 years. But he does physical stuff around the house, caring for children, we have two incomes, we mostly like each other and won't be alone when we are old. He's a good, interesting, intelligent person who respects me. I don't really know what more I could ask for other than an open marriage, and THAT ain't happening!

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Give him a bj and then tell him to go away for a few hours. He won't mind.

+1000! LOL


Not all women want to do that. And it's certainly not part of any contract....Still doesn't cure his neediness.

OP maybe plan some things during the weekdays you can do alone. A healthy marriage doesn't mean you need to be together all the time. I would think he would understand that..
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