tween boy hanging out/playdate

[Anonymous]

Child a little younger than this but going to middle school soon. How do kids communicate with each other online these days? What are the programs they use?

[Anonymous]

OP here, I was reading these posts and was about to write to thank everyone for their thoughtful input. Then I read these last two posts. For the last two posters who decided to just criticize my language just for the sake of it (leave it to DCUM), I called it hanging out/ or playdate to get the point across that I was talking about having friends to the house. The kids I know refer to that as a "playdate" or "hanging out", so I thought using those two terms would cover all bases. Why jump down my throat, I asked for advice, I don't see either post as relevant and I hope this thread doesn't go downhill now because you all are stirring the pot! For the other posters, I really do appreciate your input, it was exactly the kind of information I was looking for, so thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I was reading these posts and was about to write to thank everyone for their thoughtful input. Then I read these last two posts. For the last two posters who decided to just criticize my language just for the sake of it (leave it to DCUM), I called it hanging out/ or playdate to get the point across that I was talking about having friends to the house. The kids I know refer to that as a "playdate" or "hanging out", so I thought using those two terms would cover all bases. Why jump down my throat, I asked for advice, I don't see either post as relevant and I hope this thread doesn't go downhill now because you all are stirring the pot! For the other posters, I really do appreciate your input, it was exactly the kind of information I was looking for, so thank you!

I really appreciated this thread, OP as I just posted something similar about my 6th grade DS. I'm glad to see this is not so unusual. There are always a lot of helpful, kind folks here. But there do seem to be some who get their jollies pointing out the most inane things just to pick on someone. It's pathetic, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Child a little younger than this but going to middle school soon. How do kids communicate with each other online these days? What are the programs they use?

Bump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I could have written your post about my 13-year-old DS. Same exact scenario. I’m keeping my eye on him, but so far, he seems content to socialize only at school and during activities. For the most part, he’s not interested in hanging out and never makes plans unless someone else initiates. He’s also not interested in social media which I’m more than ok with, but my sense is that is how a lot of kids are communicating these days so that may be part of it. I have no idea if this is “normal” for this age, but he seems happy so I’m going with that for now.

My 12 year old is the same. He has a phone but thinks social media is “stupid”. He eats with a group at lunch, but never sees them outside of school. He has two friends that don’t go to his school that he sometimes hangs out with. He seems content at home and likes hanging around adults more than kids (during the holidays he did this rather than playing with his cousins). My main issue is he doesn’t do anything else outside of school - no clubs or sports. He did one Club last year in 6th, but didn’t really enjoy it. So far I have not pushed anything this year, but at some point he has to do something!

I have a 12 yr old DS almost like your DS.. down to one activity last year in 6th grade, but almost nothing this year.

You have to push him to do *something*. My DS told me that although he fights me when I push him to do something, he knows that he should do something, but he just has a hard time motivating himself, so he needs me to push.

Of course, I would love my kids to be self motivated, but I can't force self motivation. I can force him to get off his computer and go do something else. I don't really care what it is. I just want him to spend time with other people, whether it's socializing or working on a project. Spending time with people online doesn't count. And he needs to move, exercise. So, I give him some options, and make him do one physical activity.

Spending too much time in front of a screen and not being physically active, and eating junk food (main meals are usually home made and healthy, but he likes junk snacks) is bad for your health. So, he has to do something. Otherwise, I tell him I will cut down his screen time to 30min/day and make him only eat healthy snacks. He has agreed to do one sport and one afterschool activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Child a little younger than this but going to middle school soon. How do kids communicate with each other online these days? What are the programs they use?

Bump.

I have only seen DS use his text message app that comes on his phone. But then, DS is not in the "popular" crowd, so maybe those guys use something different. I check his phone, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Child a little younger than this but going to middle school soon. How do kids communicate with each other online these days? What are the programs they use?

Bump.

I have only seen DS use his text message app that comes on his phone. But then, DS is not in the "popular" crowd, so maybe those guys use something different. I check his phone, too.

Snap Chat.

[Anonymous]

In this highly sexualized society, wouldn't you suspect foulplay if tweens did spend time intimately overnight, behind closed door?

13 yo is old enough to be self-conscious about the sexuality. Being with friends during school and activities is enough for him.