Would you say something to your brother and sister in law?

[Anonymous]

I think at this point the only way you could address it is if he brings up the visit first. Then you can offhand mention that it sure was fun but cleaning up afterwards was tough and you guys will probably take a break from hosting for a while. If his kids are usually pigs at home then he’ll know exactly what you mean and clam up in embarassment. If he’s clueless and asks what you mean you can say something about not realizing teens (presuming you don’t have your own) “expand” so much and they had a lot of trash and laundry left behind. How were the other two kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not say anything now. It's not worth the fall-out with your brother.

If you host again, you want to address it in the moment.

This. Bring it up next time in terms of reminding the kids to keep their rooms clean. And ask the parents to remind the kids as they go along and right before departure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your first time hosting something like this?

Stop hosting it in the future. They are guests. Hosts clean. If you do not like it, do not host.

Or, you can set rules for next times, but whatever happens, your responsibilities.

I agree, don't host them in the future. But completely disagree with "guests don't clean." OP's house isn't a hotel, they're not paying guests. You don't treat your hosts, family, friends, etc like that when at their house. What a horrible way to go about the world - to think that you can disregard someone's home.

OP, I probably wouldn't say anything to the parents. Maybe mention it to your sibling if they suggest staying over again. Truthfully, as parents, they should have checked up on how the kids left the conditions. Older kids should know better. Their parents should *definitely* know and have done better. But don't host them again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your first time hosting something like this?

Stop hosting it in the future. They are guests. Hosts clean. If you do not like it, do not host.

Or, you can set rules for next times, but whatever happens, your responsibilities.

That’s a pretty low class approach.

[Anonymous]

If it were me I would say something. Not as a confrontation, but dispassionately, as an aside, and as a statement of fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it were me I would say something. Not as a confrontation, but dispassionately, as an aside, and as a statement of fact.

To what end? How exactly would that play out?

Ring ring.
You: Hey Brother.
Brother: Hey Sister. How’s it going?
You: great. I’m calling because Bob and I are pretty upset with the mess that Larlo, Marlo and Narlo left when you visited us over Christmas week. They left trash and towels on the floor. The toilets were unflushed.
Brother: Wow. Sorry. So what do you want me to do? Do you want money for a house cleaner?
You: No. i just wanted you to know.
Brother: Okay.
You: Okay. Bye.
Brother: Bye.
Click.

[Anonymous]

You should gift them Clorox wipes for their next birthday!

[Anonymous]

I am the dissenting view here- I would want to know if my kids left a mess like that- it’s a chance to teach them to be more aware of how to behave as guests. As long as it’s presented in a neutral way, I wouldn’t take it personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the dissenting view here- I would want to know if my kids left a mess like that- it’s a chance to teach them to be more aware of how to behave as guests. As long as it’s presented in a neutral way, I wouldn’t take it personally.

I agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the dissenting view here- I would want to know if my kids left a mess like that- it’s a chance to teach them to be more aware of how to behave as guests. As long as it’s presented in a neutral way, I wouldn’t take it personally.

I agree with this.

I agree, and this is a good suggestion of how to approach it.

[Anonymous]

Just let it go this time. Maybe they were rushed out by parents. Just be more proactive next time. Enjoy the visit you had.

[Anonymous]

PP here, do not tell the parents. They will take it personally. Have you never watched Lampoons Griswolds Family Christmas. Have a laugh about it all.

[Anonymous]

Tell them of course! This is your sibling not some business associate and his family for Pete's sake!

You are doing your brother/wife a favor as well as the kids. It will a chance to make them aware of how and how not to leave a home when one is staying as a house guest.

Telling him in a non confrontational way is the thing to do.
'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the dissenting view here- I would want to know if my kids left a mess like that- it’s a chance to teach them to be more aware of how to behave as guests. As long as it’s presented in a neutral way, I wouldn’t take it personally.

I agree with this.

c

But by now, it is too late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the dissenting view here- I would want to know if my kids left a mess like that- it’s a chance to teach them to be more aware of how to behave as guests. As long as it’s presented in a neutral way, I wouldn’t take it personally.

I agree with this.

c

My bet is that the dissenters would all have made sure their kids had tidied, stripped beds, flushed, picked up towels... That's why I don't see this conversation going well.