childish reaction I just need to confess somewhere

[Anonymous]

OP, I think - - in person, and when you have her full attention, you should mention ONCE that, "it hurts your feelings a little". Then I wouldn't ever talk about it again, or discuss it any deeper than that. It may have no effect but it's worth saying so she knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think - - in person, and when you have her full attention, you should mention ONCE that, "it hurts your feelings a little". Then I wouldn't ever talk about it again, or discuss it any deeper than that. It may have no effect but it's worth saying so she knows.

For God's sake, DO NOT do this. You are basically saying, "Sis - you married into a great family you love and they love you in return. It sucks for me." COME ON.

[Anonymous]

She is trying too hard. Clear sign she actually might not like them at all.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with all of the advice that says just wait, she'll be complaining about them soon or she's trying too hard and especially the advice to tell her your feelings are hurt.

No, no, no. OP, this is the time you listen to your better self that is telling you that this is childish. I'm not chastising you because you already know your feelings don't make sense.

It's time to embrace the fact that our love grows ever wider for those we choose to love. When the second child comes along, we don't love the first child less. In fact, we can even learn to somehow love the first child even more when we experience the joy of watching him interact with the second. Keep reminding yourself they are additional sisters, not replacement sisters.

I have three beautiful amazing wonderful SIL's and I consider them my sisters, too.

[Anonymous]

She's probably trying to endear herself to her new in-laws and isn't even considering how it makes you feel. That's not a bad or good thing that she doesn't realize, but know she isn't trying to hurt you. It will all blow over soon anyway

[Anonymous]

You are not childish. She is.

[Anonymous]

Not like its a good thing but I was kind of like this with my SIL's before I got married. I am also very very close with my sister. And let me just tell you....6 years in and I literally despise one of my SIL's (I often complain to my sister about her) and the other one is just ok. Thought they were both GREAT before/right after I got married.

You will always be her sister OP. I wouldn't trade my relationship with my sister for anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd give it 6 months before she's complaining about them to you...

This lol

[Anonymous]

I think she is excited at the thought of having more "sisters" because she loves the one she has so much! It's kind of like the concept that if a man remarries after his wife dies it's a tribute to her because being married and having a wife represents happiness to him, thanks to her. Kinda the same thing!

[Anonymous]

My sister was like this with her MIL. Our own mom had SO many issues and her MIL was just the perfect mom...well...8 years later they're barely on speaking terms. It's a honeymoon phase and it'll end.

[Anonymous]

It makes sense that you're bothered by it. I think she may be doing it with them in mind only and not considering at all how it might make you feel. She also may not actually be crazy about them but is just trying to be really friendly and nice toward them. She absolutely does NOT think of them as sisters in the way that you are sisters -- it's just a term of phrase. Some people called their MIL's "mom," which I find very weird, but even if they do, they don't consider that person to hold a candle to being their real "mom."

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm with everyone else saying not to mention it to your sister.

Just a little perspective from the other side. I married into a family much larger than my family of origin, and immediately had lots of brothers and sisters in law -- all lovely people. I cut my family a lot of slack, because I could see that they (my mom and sister in particular) felt threatened by these new relationships. It eased off after awhile, but I still sense a bit of competition/judgment from my mom towards my husband's family (particularly his sister). It's never been a big thing and I haven't called my mom on it because she's mostly kept a lid on it and I understand where it's coming from. She is/was afraid of "losing" me to my inlaws. As time has passed, she's seen that hasn't happened and it's all fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you rather she married into a family of women that hate her? Would that make you feel better? Would you rather she fuss to you that they treat her badly and she is uncomfortable around them and it makes going to gatherings miserable?

Grow up, OP. I promise you can't be replaced.

This! I’ve been in that situation and it isn’t fun! I would’ve loved to have my ex-SIL refer to me as her new sister. Get over yourself OP.

[Anonymous]

I hear you OP. When my sister had a baby, our cousins started calling themselves the baby's "aunt"s and expected that the baby would use that title for them. Made me mad as her only sibling. I felt like that title should be mine and made it feel less special to me. I know, childish, but it's how I felt.

[Anonymous]

OP, next time when you are out together, just hug your sister and tell her how much you love you and how much this bothers you.