How to politely ask when they are leaving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good morning.

It seems junior is not feeling well. Perhaps you should cut your visit short?

Remind me again when you planned to leave?

God I wish I could do this but it’s so f-en rude!

Huh? No it’s not. Where in the world did you get it into your head that it’s okay for someone to stay indefinitely as a bad guest and you don’t get to question that???? Grow a damn spine or get off DCUM. You came here for advice and are getting some that is excellent. Take it and get these people out.

OP here...that wasn't me but I guess I am not the only person with this type of family.

[Anonymous]

Larloshi, it looks like we'll have other good friends visiting soon. I know you weren't planning a long trip and so you might have planned to be gone by then, but just letting you know we'll need the guestroom back on Friday so I can have a day to clean it before our other guests arrive. If your plans changed and you did want to stay in the US longer, I can recommend some good extended stay hotels in the area? Should I print out the phone numbers for you?

[Anonymous]

Agree with the PP. To save hurt feelings, I would make up a little lie. It's been so fun having you visit! We are expecting houseguests in a week. I wasn't sure when you were leaving and just wanted to be sure you knew that we need the rooms for our guests starting on Friday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why was this not ascertained before the visit? No way would I ever agree to an open-ended visit.

I wanted to and asked before the trip and they said they will determine this once they got here. When my cousin's wife was here last time without her son she was very nice and had booked the return trip before coming over. This time both she and her son seem off.

My guess would be they are not planning to go home. They are probably staying in your home until you kick them out. Once you do, they will find other family to stay with and the cycle will continue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why was this not ascertained before the visit? No way would I ever agree to an open-ended visit.

I wanted to and asked before the trip and they said they will determine this once they got here. When my cousin's wife was here last time without her son she was very nice and had booked the return trip before coming over. This time both she and her son seem off.

My guess would be they are not planning to go home. They are probably staying in your home until you kick them out. Once you do, they will find other family to stay with and the cycle will continue

Interesting idea. Do you think they could be planning to stay here illegally, OP?

My understanding is that it's generally not even possible to get a visa without a return ticket. Is that no longer the case?

[Anonymous]

I would go to his room and ask if he needs medical attention. I would also tell the mother that she may not take food up to him because you will get mice in the house if there is food around. It sounds like you have a good history with her so just sit with her and ask if everything is okay with her son because you know she plans to leave to her country soon and you want to be sure he’s okay. Ask her what her return date is because you have to go back to work and want to make sure they have made plans to cover the rest of their US stay since you can only host them until that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good morning.

It seems junior is not feeling well. Perhaps you should cut your visit short?

Remind me again when you planned to leave?

God I wish I could do this but it’s so f-en rude!

No rude is how the guests are behaving. Since the son is using the house as a hotel they need to go to one. Ask them straight out what if they are leaving on Thursday or Friday.

[Anonymous]

Are they trying to escape from the cousin?

[Anonymous]

A lie here is your friend.

The house is being painted on Thursday.
The water is being turned off.
The plumbing is being fixed.
Fumigation bombing begins.

Whatever. The point is, out of the house by X date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good morning.

It seems junior is not feeling well. Perhaps you should cut your visit short?

Remind me again when you planned to leave?

God I wish I could do this but it’s so f-en rude!

No rude is how the guests are behaving. Since the son is using the house as a hotel they need to go to one. Ask them straight out what if they are leaving on Thursday or Friday.

It is rude because OP welcomed them into her home knowing that they had a one way ticket and she did not express any limitations about how long they could stay. While it may be crazy that they assumed they could stay for weeks on end, OP also didn’t set any expectations. To now tell them that they must leave in a day or two is pretty harsh especially when they are visiting from out of the country. OP went wrong when she allowed them to come without even hinting at an end date for the visit. That being said, the suggestions above about needing to prepare for other guests are good.

[Anonymous]

How old is the kid? My guess is they are planning to stay until his winter break from school is over.....so, depending on the school, January 7 or so?

Sounds like they have already overstayed their welcome and are being unpleasant house guests. You need to say something to them. If it comes across as rude, oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why was this not ascertained before the visit? No way would I ever agree to an open-ended visit.

I wanted to and asked before the trip and they said they will determine this once they got here. When my cousin's wife was here last time without her son she was very nice and had booked the return trip before coming over. This time both she and her son seem off.

My guess would be they are not planning to go home. They are probably staying in your home until you kick them out. Once you do, they will find other family to stay with and the cycle will continue

OP here...my cousin's wife is going back to their home country on January 14th. Their son goes back to college on January 15th. I thought they would just be here for the week and leave. However, I did not expect the son to be so spoiled. My other cousin is taking them out today so at least we get some relief today. I think most of this is a cultural thing where this is common in their home country. I came to the US when I was six so I am not used to this type of behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why was this not ascertained before the visit? No way would I ever agree to an open-ended visit.

I wanted to and asked before the trip and they said they will determine this once they got here. When my cousin's wife was here last time without her son she was very nice and had booked the return trip before coming over. This time both she and her son seem off.

My guess would be they are not planning to go home. They are probably staying in your home until you kick them out. Once you do, they will find other family to stay with and the cycle will continue

OP here...my cousin's wife is going back to their home country on January 14th. Their son goes back to college on January 15th. I thought they would just be here for the week and leave. However, I did not expect the son to be so spoiled. My other cousin is taking them out today so at least we get some relief today. I think most of this is a cultural thing where this is common in their home country. I came to the US when I was six so I am not used to this type of behavior.

What country? You shouldn't have to put up with the son until Jan 15th, which is 20 days away. Tell them they need to leave.

[Anonymous]

What country (or region, if you want to be vague)???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why was this not ascertained before the visit? No way would I ever agree to an open-ended visit.

I wanted to and asked before the trip and they said they will determine this once they got here. When my cousin's wife was here last time without her son she was very nice and had booked the return trip before coming over. This time both she and her son seem off.

My guess would be they are not planning to go home. They are probably staying in your home until you kick them out. Once you do, they will find other family to stay with and the cycle will continue

OP here...my cousin's wife is going back to their home country on January 14th. Their son goes back to college on January 15th. I thought they would just be here for the week and leave. However, I did not expect the son to be so spoiled. My other cousin is taking them out today so at least we get some relief today. I think most of this is a cultural thing where this is common in their home country. I came to the US when I was six so I am not used to this type of behavior.

Sounds like you've got them until January 14th/15th unless you say something to them.

Your cousin's wife must have thought that you understood that they would be staying that long. Initially you mentioned a one way ticket, now you are saying she is planning on returning to her country on the 14th and that her son's school starts back up on the 15th. Tell them they need to go stay with your other cousin for a while.