Death of parent etiquette

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg you are mad she hasn’t gotten in touch? She is grieving. Fwiw I would hate meal trains. Send a card and let her decide when to talk,

You know, when my husband was gravely ill, I lost friends over "let her decide when to talk". Lost is the wrong word. I "let go of".

When I was ready, maybe 9 months later, I didn't feel like picking up the phone and listening to reasons why someone had held back. So I only talked to the people who had helped me along the way...

Wow, that is a great point, PP. A very good reminder to us all that "giving space" can be perceived as "ran away" or "wouldn't/didn't help me when I needed it".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently lost my dad to a long illness. Honestly food was the last thing I needed afterwards. Just reach out to your friend, call them, talk to them, try to do something fun with them, that sort of stuff.

+1

I just lost my sister last weekend. The last thing I wanted this week was food from friends. This week I truly appreciated a kind word, a thoughtful email, a hug, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently lost my dad to a long illness. Honestly food was the last thing I needed afterwards. Just reach out to your friend, call them, talk to them, try to do something fun with them, that sort of stuff.

+1

I just lost my sister last weekend. The last thing I wanted this week was food from friends. This week I truly appreciated a kind word, a thoughtful email, a hug, etc.

Oh, I am so sorry for your loss, PP. Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

[Anonymous]

I just lost my dad a week ago and have been appreciative of any and everyone who has reached out via text, phone, card, etc. I now live in Boston and my dad was down in VA so no one up here even knew him. But SO many people have reached out to share their stories of loss, offering help if I need it, left cards for me. I am overwhelmed by their kindness. Only one person reached out to offer me a meal and I took another person's advice and accepted the offer and am so glad I did. I have two kids with busy activity schedules and it was so nice to come home to find a hot pot of chili, homemade corn bread and a bottle of wine sitting on my steps I guess my advice as someone on the "other side of things" is do reach out again- she likely is not in a place to reach out to you. All gestures of kindness are appreciated, and if she really is not in a place to accept food, she will likely tell you another time.