Prayer in secular daycare?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't sweat the word "amen". It simply means "and so it is".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son goes to a center in Alexandria. When he was about 2.5, I found out they say a little prayer before their meal when my son started saying it at home. There is no God or Jesus mentioned, but they do say Amen when it’s done.

We’re not a religious family. I guess you could say we are sort of agnostic. If he asks about churches or God, or Jesus, or why we celebrate Christmas or Easter, or something, I explain (I have a religion degree from a secular SLAC), but we don’t go to church, or pray or anything.

The women who work at his center are Hispanic, and mostly Catholic. I don’t know if the center director was the one driving this, or it’s something the teachers in his room came up with. I assume it was the latter, because they stopped saying it when he moved to the 3s class.

I just let the praying at daycare thing go. I have bigger fish to fry (like the center sending home “homework” for preschoolers).

There will be times in his life where there will be a group prayer (to any number of dieties, depending on where he is) and he can either join in, or sit respectfully. I don’t think it’s harmful to say thank you for your food, even if you don’t believe Christian God provided it.

I had a very similar experience, but it was the infant /toddler room. We’re agnostic and it didn’t bother me - too many other things to be concerned about than thanking for food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a home daycare or a center?

It's a daycare center.

At a church?

Someone was complaining a month or so ago about a similar thing at a preschool or daycare at a Methodist church. It seems silly to get upset about this especially if it is a typical preschool/kids grace. Consider it a good lesson in basic dinner manners (sitting quietly and respectfully).

[Anonymous]

I think it's super odd if it's truly a secular day care. I wonder if it's just unique to that classroom due to the teacher... anyhow I think they should know better but evidently they do not! I am not religious but I wouldn't make a big deal about it at all. If my child is well taken care of that is the most important thing.

[Anonymous]

At my secular boarding school we always said "for food, for friendship, for the blessings of the day, we give you thanks." I would be okay with something like that, but not with asking all the kids to thank Jesus before every meal.

[Anonymous]

Does this happen in every classroom or is it just in the particular room where your child is now? If the latter, it may be that this particular has a more religious disposition and the director is -- at least initially - hoping not to have to make an issue with her teacher.

Either way, assuming you are in the DC area, I am very surprised that this would occur in a secular center. I would be hesitant to accept the compromise floated about a "secular prayer," particularly if it is one specific teacher driving the prayer, because I would be skeptical that the change would actually be made and getting reports from kids that age is pretty unreliable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a home daycare or a center?

It's a daycare center.

At a church?

Someone was complaining a month or so ago about a similar thing at a preschool or daycare at a Methodist church. It seems silly to get upset about this especially if it is a typical preschool/kids grace. Consider it a good lesson in basic dinner manners (sitting quietly and respectfully).

I don't think that it would necessarily matter if it were in a church. Sometimes schools simply rent space that is available. If it is truly a secular daycare, I would expect their to be Christian prayer just because they rented space from a church, just as I wouldn't expect them to change to a Jewish prayer if they happened to rent space from a temple across the street the next year. Of course, I think you would have to accept that there might be some crosses/stars in the room if you know that you are going to a facility in a house of worship, but that is different than incorporating prayer into the actual school program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found out rather late in the game that this happens at DS's center at lunch. We are not religious, but it does not bother me enough to complain about it. DS doesn't really understand it, except that he seems to delight in shouting AMEN! at the end.

That's pretty cute!

[Anonymous]

Penh, I'm hindu and my child goes to a Catholic preschool. They pray before meals, I don't care. I went to a Catholic preschool and was taught by nuns until Kindergarten. I am not religious at all, I don't remember it at all. Your child will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Penh, I'm hindu and my child goes to a Catholic preschool. They pray before meals, I don't care. I went to a Catholic preschool and was taught by nuns until Kindergarten. I am not religious at all, I don't remember it at all. Your child will be fine.

Sure, but you chose to go to a Catholic preschool. In doing so, you knew there would be Catholic prayers/activities. It'd be very different if someone went to, for example, a Bright Horizons that appeared to be completely secular, and only later found out there was denominational prayer at the school. That is wildly different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't sweat the word "amen". It simply means "and so it is".

I'm not as worried about Amen - it's giving thanks to Jesus that concerns me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a home daycare or a center?

It's a daycare center.

At a church?

Someone was complaining a month or so ago about a similar thing at a preschool or daycare at a Methodist church. It seems silly to get upset about this especially if it is a typical preschool/kids grace. Consider it a good lesson in basic dinner manners (sitting quietly and respectfully).

Nope, it's not a church daycare. I'd expect it at a church. The daycare doesn't have any religious affiliation but they're praying to Jesus before meals. I'm perfectly happy with expressing gratitude before meals, but praying to Jesus seems to cross a line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a home daycare or a center?

It's a daycare center.

At a church?

Someone was complaining a month or so ago about a similar thing at a preschool or daycare at a Methodist church. It seems silly to get upset about this especially if it is a typical preschool/kids grace. Consider it a good lesson in basic dinner manners (sitting quietly and respectfully).

Nope, it's not a church daycare. I'd expect it at a church. The daycare doesn't have any religious affiliation but they're praying to Jesus before meals. I'm perfectly happy with expressing gratitude before meals, but praying to Jesus seems to cross a line.

Can you share the center? I would hate to find myself in your situation.

If you (and your kid) are settled into a center, it can be difficult to switch. This presupposes that you could even find a place to switch to at this point. I would be really uncomfortable with what you are describing, but I would be worried I would be stuck if I found myself at such a center. If I (or anyone else who would care) knew about the religious activities ahead of time, we wouldn't enroll in that center and would find another option while we still had the opportunity to make an informed decision. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does this happen in every classroom or is it just in the particular room where your child is now? If the latter, it may be that this particular has a more religious disposition and the director is -- at least initially - hoping not to have to make an issue with her teacher.

Either way, assuming you are in the DC area, I am very surprised that this would occur in a secular center. I would be hesitant to accept the compromise floated about a "secular prayer," particularly if it is one specific teacher driving the prayer, because I would be skeptical that the change would actually be made and getting reports from kids that age is pretty unreliable.

Yep, this is in DC. I actually don't know if it's just the room or the whole center. It's not part of the curriculum and we weren't notified they're doing it; we just happened to arrive one day mid-prayer and observe it.

[Anonymous]

If this is a private organization, they have a right to define “secular” as they please. You have a right to take your child out. If you have a contract, you possibly could break it over this. They are, however, under no obligation to obey your definition of “secular”. You can try to negotiate with them (e.g., reword the prayer), but they are under no obligation to accede to your demands.