How did you find out your parent had died in a dysfunctional family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't plan to tell anyone including aunts/uncle and sibling/her son when my MIL passes. They have no had any interest in her and leave all her care and needs to us. They don't even call to see if she needs anything or if she is ok.

that's shitty. communicate now, don't use her death as a means to extract revenge!

We have no contact with any of them. We have tried to reach out and encourage them to maintain contact with her and us and they have not. They abandoned her when she needed them the most. They never call, never see if she or we need anything or care. She lived by them and with one of them and they said she was making up her health issues (which she wasn't) and couldn't care less about getting her help. We took her, I take care of her and I'm done trying with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't plan to tell anyone including aunts/uncle and sibling/her son when my MIL passes. They have no had any interest in her and leave all her care and needs to us. They don't even call to see if she needs anything or if she is ok.

that's shitty. communicate now, don't use her death as a means to extract revenge!

We have no contact with any of them. We have tried to reach out and encourage them to maintain contact with her and us and they have not. They abandoned her when she needed them the most. They never call, never see if she or we need anything or care. She lived by them and with one of them and they said she was making up her health issues (which she wasn't) and couldn't care less about getting her help. We took her, I take care of her and I'm done trying with them.

Your MIL is very lucky to have you. And to the middle poster, here is another way to think about it ... perhaps if the aunts/uncle/siblings/son were staying in contact with the poster's MIL they would know already when she passed.

[Anonymous]

My brother doesn’t speak to my mother. I will tell him when she dies.

[Anonymous]

I'm 97% estranged from my deeply toxic parents and siblings abroad. It makes no difference to me if or how I find out about their death or they mine. I'll never go back there.

[Anonymous]

My husband found out when his horrible father's wife called and told him. There's usually someone who stays connected with someone on each side. She stayed connected because she was always begging money off us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't plan to tell anyone including aunts/uncle and sibling/her son when my MIL passes. They have no had any interest in her and leave all her care and needs to us. They don't even call to see if she needs anything or if she is ok.

that's shitty. communicate now, don't use her death as a means to extract revenge!

np why aren't you calling out the relatives who don't care about their mother/sister/aunt. That is pretty shitty too.