Men: honestly, why do you pull away?

[Anonymous]

So, let me get this straight, the thread says "Men", clearly asking for male replies and it takes 10 posts to get one?

You really want to know? It's two-fold. We fear the commitment, the giving up of the possibility of that hot girl we saw at the bar last weekend that was interested but had to be brushed off.

Our friends (depending on age) give us endless grief about "being married" and not hanging out any more. The guy in the serious relationship is often made to feel like he's missing something by not being with "the boys".

[Anonymous]

Because being a single man is awesome. And because single men see their married friends lose all their money, and their children, to spiteful wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Rubber band" effect. Read some John Gray. Seriously, I understood men so much better after reading his books.

Seriously, read Mars And Venus On a Date. Will change how you view dating.

And BTW, when he begins to pull away, let him. When he says he needs space, your response is “okay, no problem “. Get busy. Go out with girlfriends. Take a class. Exercise more. Never pick up his call or respond to his text immediately. Wait 12-24 hours to respond. He’ll either keep drifting away. Which is fine, he wasn’t that into you to begin with. Or he’ll start to miss you and come

[Anonymous]

Women do this too. I’ve pulled away when I thought things were going too fast with my guy.

[Anonymous]

After a few months men are able to see if there is a serious future. If it's just sex for them they may not care, but if they are seeking something more and they don't see it in the cards they will pull back some.

I've done it to women I've dated before. If I don't see a future with them why waste my time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After a few months men are able to see if there is a serious future. If it's just sex for them they may not care, but if they are seeking something more and they don't see it in the cards they will pull back some.

I've done it to women I've dated before. If I don't see a future with them why waste my time?

Well then why date them to begin with? Do you have sex with women with whom you see no future? If so do you make it clear you are dating them just for sex

Im asking partially because I am dating someone and have done everything but intercourse with him, largely because I cant tell whether he is just casually dating me to get some action or whether he actually sees a future with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After a few months men are able to see if there is a serious future. If it's just sex for them they may not care, but if they are seeking something more and they don't see it in the cards they will pull back some.

I've done it to women I've dated before. If I don't see a future with them why waste my time?

Well then why date them to begin with? Do you have sex with women with whom you see no future? If so do you make it clear you are dating them just for sex

Im asking partially because I am dating someone and have done everything but intercourse with him, largely because I cant tell whether he is just casually dating me to get some action or whether he actually sees a future with me.

Because men don't know if they see a future with you when they begin to date you. They need to date you for a few weeks/months to make that determination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After a few months men are able to see if there is a serious future. If it's just sex for them they may not care, but if they are seeking something more and they don't see it in the cards they will pull back some.

I've done it to women I've dated before. If I don't see a future with them why waste my time?

Well then why date them to begin with? Do you have sex with women with whom you see no future? If so do you make it clear you are dating them just for sex

Im asking partially because I am dating someone and have done everything but intercourse with him, largely because I cant tell whether he is just casually dating me to get some action or whether he actually sees a future with me.

Because men don't know if they see a future with you when they begin to date you. They need to date you for a few weeks/months to make that determination.

Are you a man or a woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After a few months men are able to see if there is a serious future. If it's just sex for them they may not care, but if they are seeking something more and they don't see it in the cards they will pull back some.

I've done it to women I've dated before. If I don't see a future with them why waste my time?

Well then why date them to begin with? Do you have sex with women with whom you see no future? If so do you make it clear you are dating them just for sex

Im asking partially because I am dating someone and have done everything but intercourse with him, largely because I cant tell whether he is just casually dating me to get some action or whether he actually sees a future with me.

Duh. You're making a go of it, and she's a little strange. It takes time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After a few months men are able to see if there is a serious future. If it's just sex for them they may not care, but if they are seeking something more and they don't see it in the cards they will pull back some.

I've done it to women I've dated before. If I don't see a future with them why waste my time?

Well then why date them to begin with? Do you have sex with women with whom you see no future? If so do you make it clear you are dating them just for sex

Im asking partially because I am dating someone and have done everything but intercourse with him, largely because I cant tell whether he is just casually dating me to get some action or whether he actually sees a future with me.

So you're playing games to figure out if he's just playing games?

Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After a few months men are able to see if there is a serious future. If it's just sex for them they may not care, but if they are seeking something more and they don't see it in the cards they will pull back some.

I've done it to women I've dated before. If I don't see a future with them why waste my time?

Agree. I'm married now, but before I was married, I'd pull back after a few months if I liked her as a girlfriend, but didn't see myself wanting to get married to her ultimately. Sometimes that led to us each just drifting apart, and other times I needed to end it more directly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because being a single man is awesome. And because single men see their married friends lose all their money, and their children, to spiteful wives.

Being a single lady is awesome. Especially now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After a few months men are able to see if there is a serious future. If it's just sex for them they may not care, but if they are seeking something more and they don't see it in the cards they will pull back some.

I've done it to women I've dated before. If I don't see a future with them why waste my time?

Well then why date them to begin with? Do you have sex with women with whom you see no future? If so do you make it clear you are dating them just for sex

Im asking partially because I am dating someone and have done everything but intercourse with him, largely because I cant tell whether he is just casually dating me to get some action or whether he actually sees a future with me.

So you're playing games to figure out if he's just playing games?

Good luck with that.

How am I playing games? Having sex means something to me. I don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't see long term potential in me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After a few months men are able to see if there is a serious future. If it's just sex for them they may not care, but if they are seeking something more and they don't see it in the cards they will pull back some.

I've done it to women I've dated before. If I don't see a future with them why waste my time?

Well then why date them to begin with? Do you have sex with women with whom you see no future? If so do you make it clear you are dating them just for sex

Im asking partially because I am dating someone and have done everything but intercourse with him, largely because I cant tell whether he is just casually dating me to get some action or whether he actually sees a future with me.

So you're playing games to figure out if he's just playing games?

Good luck with that.

How am I playing games? Having sex means something to me. I don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't see long term potential in me.

Finally. Someone that talks sense. Respect!. If all women worked this way, there will be less drama, less disease and more meaningful relationships. I'm a guy, BTW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After a few months men are able to see if there is a serious future. If it's just sex for them they may not care, but if they are seeking something more and they don't see it in the cards they will pull back some.

I've done it to women I've dated before. If I don't see a future with them why waste my time?

Well then why date them to begin with? Do you have sex with women with whom you see no future? If so do you make it clear you are dating them just for sex

Im asking partially because I am dating someone and have done everything but intercourse with him, largely because I cant tell whether he is just casually dating me to get some action or whether he actually sees a future with me.

So you're playing games to figure out if he's just playing games?

Good luck with that.

How am I playing games? Having sex means something to me. I don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't see long term potential in me.

He's not going to propose to someone who won't have sex with him. And "everything but intercourse": you're into foreplay but then say stop? If so, that's being a cocktease, someone to be avoided.

How is the guy supposed to "see a future" with someone who doesn't want to do all the relationship stuff?